(Closed) Did you or your SO ever get cold feet?

posted 9 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
80 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

We’ll we’re still 8 months away from the wedding, been engaged about 8 already, and together almost 4 years.

 I haven’t ever though about NOT marrying him, though to be completely honest I do sometimes wonder how I’m going to deal with those annoying habits he has (never makign a decision, never planning anything, always being overly worried about money, etc etc) as the years go on…but nothing that worries me enough to not marry him.

That being said, we both come from seperated homes, mine more dramatic than his, and much earlier on in life…so I have always been carful and spent a lot of time thinking about how to prevent divorce or seperation in my own life.

Post # 4
Member
2373 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

I started having doubts after we married.  It wasn’t my SO’s fault- after the wedding is when my in-laws let everything out.  It was kind of like they waited until I was trapped. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 5
Member
2000 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

It’s kind of funny, but I wasn’t really sure he was the one until after we got engaged. We only dated for 9 months before he asked. I waited one week to answer.

Him asking was what it took for me to be sure enough to say yes, and it’s really in the past several months of our engagement that I’ve come to be rock-solid sure that he’s the man for me.

Our relationship only gotten better, and now I look back on when we first got engaged and think "WOW. I can’t believe how much better I know him now and how much more I love him now than I did then."

Even so, though, I still get cold feet every now and again. I’m just a worrier.  

Post # 6
Member
429 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2008

We didn’t really have cold feet, either of us, but a few weeks before the wedding we got together and just had the big scary talk about "are we getting married because we think we’ll never find anybody else/nobody else will take me/nobody else will take you." It was frightening but it really solidified our relationship.. I figure if we can talk about the doubts with each other truthfully and still feel safe and in love at the end of the conversation, we don’t really need to have the doubts.

Post # 7
Member
88 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Yes, I get cold feet once in awhile. As far as I know, it has nothing to do with him. Despite being madly in love with him and believing that our marraige will be forever, I still worry about the D word. Its only natural. The Divorce rate is about 50% in this country right now. And My family has contributed it many times. My Mom and Dad divorced afer 18 years of marraige, then My mom got remarried and divorced about 7 years later. My Dad remarried and I can’t stand his wife. Now, My unlce and Aunt are getting divorced, after being together for about 35 years. (cheating). Oh yeah and my other Uncle has been married 4 times, but I think this one is going to last. She is completely different than the past 3 wives. He doesn’t have a great track record either. Doesn’t know his biological dad.  He left his mom when she was pregnant with him. THen she remarried and the man adopted my FI, who later disappeared when FI was 24. 

 

With all that said, its my goal to not let this happen to us. I think marraiges are HARD work. I think that  being "in love" can fade with the hecticness of daily life. You have ot make sure you have respect and a different kind of love tobe there. I believe we have it. I also believe we have the drive and urge to not have a dsyfunctional family and stay married forever. I don’t want to be like my parents

Post # 8
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2008

I got married this past June, had been dating about 4 years at that point. Never really had true cold feet, every now and then I would have a moment of wondering about it, but no real firm doubts. Marriage is a BIG commitment and every now and then it just kind of boggles your mind!

Post # 9
Member
2004 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

I had bouts of cold feet beforehand too. Heck, I’m married and I still occassionally get cold feet!

I think it’s just because I’m a worrywart and an anxious person. When I think about my worries they’re usually very trivial things. Like for awhile I was really worried that he never put the cap on the toothpaste. I thought, I can’t live like this forever! He’s so messy and wasteful! I need to break it off! I told him it was important to me and now he puts it on. It’s rather funny now… ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 10
Member
2434 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

Nope.  We had doubts about HOW we should marry (church or civil ceremony, big or small wedding, etc.), but not about whether or not to do it.

Post # 11
Member
221 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

FYI, the divorce rate varies drastically in different age ranges, educational backgrounds, and number of previous marriages.

Post # 12
Member
631 posts
Busy bee

I had a week or two when my fiancee was in a really bad mood of wondering, but I never really got cold feet.  For us, the wedding itself put a lot of stress on our relationship, and as we get farther away from the wedding our relationship has just been better and better.  I think a little bit of doubt is normal, but if it seems like a good bet, go with it!  ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 13
Member
2008 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

We’ve only been officially engaged for a little less than a month now, but it’s been unofficial for almost a year.  I haven’t gotten cold feet about marrying HIM, but I have gotten nervous about marrying him NOW.  A lot of it has to do with only being 25 and the first of my close friends to get hitched. 

Post # 14
Member
1379 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

No cold feet at all. He is the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. And I know he feels the same. It is a scary thing to think about since we are 25/26 right now. We got in a little fight over the weekend and when we were making up I said something like "this was one of the harder things I’ve done in my 25 years" and he said "well we’ve got forever to make it better" … and it was just so cute and so perfect.  Think about it this way, let’s say we live to be 90 (or even more since we both have a grandparent that is 93!) we have 65 more years together!  If we’re lucky! ๐Ÿ™‚

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