Post # 1
Hi Ladies! I’m new to weddingbee and looking for some input… my boyfriend and I have talked a lot recently about getting engaged. While we were just on vacation, and consuming way too much wine, he told me exactly when he’s going to propose (bummer, wanted more of a surprise!) and asked that I tell him what kind of ring I wanted. I don’t mind giving him some general ideas ie: round solitaire, pave band – but how do detailed should I be? Did you pick out a ring together from the jeweler? Send him pictures of your ideal ring? I like the idea of being surprised by the ring (since the engagement itself won’t be a surprise), but I’m a little scared that I might hate it if I don’t help him out more!! I also don’t want it to seem like I’m expecting him to spend a certain amount of money because I HAVE to have a certain ring… HELP!!!
Post # 3
- Wedding: October 2014 - Disney
I think this depends on the couple. I told him what I wanted. We picked the stone, and tweaked the custom setting. I love my ring and that we chose together.
Post # 4
@mrswedding16: One night my SO asked me if I’d like to go ring shopping with him to give him an idea of what kind of ring I liked. We went to 2 different stores. I showed him the kind of band I liked and decided on what my favorite cut of diamond was. We found about 2 settings we liked at both stores. One of them was our favorite of the four. After that, he went out on his own a few times to other stores to see if he could find anything he though was better. But he didn’t and went back for our favorite setting and picked the stone in the cut I liked. I was very, very happy when he proposed and I saw he picked my favorite ring setting. It didn’t ruin the surprise because I didn’t know until he proposed which ring he had picked. It worked well for us.
Post # 5
@mrswedding16: I had given some hints about what I wanted (baisically I told him I didn’t want an oval cut or yellow gold), but he went out and picked everything out himself. I didn’t even know he was ring shopping so when he proposed with my ring it was a huge surprise and it was totally perfect!
Post # 6
I had zero input. Our engagement was a total surprise to me. I have to say he did REALLY well all on his own. I wouldn’t have picked anything different.
Post # 7
We had looked at picture after picture of the kind of ring I liked – turns out he had very similar interests. But there was still a lot of resistance there…he just didn’t trust himself.
So, I took matters into my own hands. I did propose to him first (he wears the ring around his neck) – but only because his ring had arrived in the store before mine had. I also sent him direct links to the top 6 rings I liked the most. He picked the one in the #1 slot. So, yes, I picked out my engagement ring.
I’m very happy with it. And it took some of the terror away from him. Because while most people are reasonable, there are some women who will flip out if they don’t like the ring. That adds even more pressure to an experience that’s already tense. We all know the Bridezillas and Engaged-zillas – not that you will be one, but I think it’s fair for any guy to worry that his girlfriend may become one.
I don’t regret picking out my ring. I got exactly what I wanted, I hastened my proposal and so on.
Post # 8
We did the whole ring shopping process together. I’m really glad we did because it turns out we had very different ideas of what an engagement ring looked like. We chose the setting together, I chose the stone type (green sapphire because we had agreed on a green stone) and stone shade. He chose the cut because he HATED one of the cuts the jewler showed us. We’re both very happy with the ring and he’s actually more happy about how happy I am than about how the ring turned out (he does really like it).
ETA I picked out the metal type because I have really severe allergies and FI was nervous about me being allergic to the ring. The setting we picked actually defaulted to palladium which is perfect for us.
Post # 9
@mrswedding16: we picked it out together. my fi never would have made such a big purchase without knowing exactly what I wanted. I knew when it was bought and when it arrived. He proposed less than 48 hours after he got it and it was a TOTAL surprise! So, it can be done! 🙂 Have fun, it’s such an exciting time!
Post # 10
Thanks for your input! It’s good to know that so many of you had at least something to do with choosing the ring – makes me feel less guilty about giving hints now!
New question – did you know what kind of budget your SO was working with?
Post # 11
We went together on a spur of the moment decision and found the ring we ended up buying.
Post # 12
We picked the setting together after he proposed since my fiance proposed with a solitaire. I loved that he did it this way because it felt like the best of both worlds – I got swept off my feet by a surprise proposal AND I had input on the final ring.
Post # 14
We ended up picking out the ring together because we were discussing budgets and when we wanted to buy a house, so saving for the ring came up (as we knew it was coming). When we looked at our money situation and determined what we thought was reasonable to spend, we used that as way to look at what was out there in that price range.
I’m really glad we did, because we had different thoughts about what to purchase (and I tend to wear the same kind of jewellery all the time so I’m picky). We both agreed on a style we loved, then how and when remained a total surprise (and trust me, I was still totally surprised!)
It’s totally dependent on the couple but you shouldn’t feel guilty having input 🙂
Post # 15
he asked me what i wanted and i told him. i got exactly what i asked for.
it was still a surprise because i didn’t know when it would happen.
Post # 16
My FI did everything – picked the stones he wanted and had the setting made. I didn’t even have a say! He did perfect. 🙂