Post # 1
I’m a long time lurker who has finally de died to join the hive! I’d just like to say first and foremost that this website has been so much of a help during my ‘waiting’ phase- it’s great knowing others are women out there who are feeling the same frustrations as me! I’ve been with my BF for 5 years now and am ‘officially waiting.’
Anyway, on to the topic of my post; I was wondering who out there chose their engagement ring in advance of the proposal and knew exactly what they were getting and who had a total surprise, both in the sense that they didn’t know what ring they were getting, nor did they know their SO had bought the ring or when the proposal was coming?
From reading these threads, I get the impression that it’s not unusual in the US for a couple to go and choose a ring together and for the bride to be fairly involved. In the UK, it seems more common to have a surprise in the sense that you might be unaware your FI to be has bought the ring at all. Although info course realise that everyone is different!
In my situation, my BF wants it to be a total surprise- the only thing he has said is that it will be within a year (mainly because I needed some reassurance that it was actually going to happen!) He has said I am allowed to show him pictures of rings I like, but he is desperate to avoid the topic in conversation because he doesn’t want to spoil it by discussing it too much in advance. I wont know when he has bought the ring, how much it cost or when he might propose. Though this is hard, I know it’s really important to him to do this so I try and bite my tongue whenever I get the urge to discuss something wedding related!
So, were you involved in picking your ring or was it a surprise?
Sorry for the essay- only my second post so there was lots to include!
Post # 3
@Milan: Hi & Welcome to the Hive.
We picked my ring out together. He chose it initially & I loved it. So the ring wasn’t a surprise nor the engagement. I knew it would happen on our holiday to New York but I didn’t know where or where. It was amazing & before I turned 30.
Post # 4
Total surprise. Knew nothing about the type of ring or that he was even actively looking/shopping.
I knew were were heading towards marriage, but we never really had a conversation about rings. The only conversation we had was About 9 months before he proposed, and we were in Scotland (where DH is from) looking at watches for me. He kept pointing to rings in the shop windows to get my opinions (It was really only 2-3 shops). He kept pointing at solitaires, I said I wasn’t really a fan of them and would go back to looking at watches. He then took me to one more shop that focuses on antique/estate jewelry and said to me “I kind of thought you might like an antique ring”. I said yes I would. And that was the whole conversation.
9 months later, I got this – totally picked out by DH alone. its from the 1920’s, 1.15 carat OEC
ETA – I also had no idea when he would propose. I had hoped it would be on our vacation, and it was, but I had no idea he had a ring or that it would happen that weekend.
Post # 5
Total surprise, we barely talked abou marriage much less a proposal. My FI really loves to surprise me.
Post # 6
My FI picked mine out all on his own! The only thing he’d asked me was what color metal and I said white gold. Although I never said this to him, it had always been my dream that my future husband would choose the perfect ring on his own. And he did! But I can totally see why other brides would definitely want a say so! Whatever works for the two of you is okay!
Post # 7
Mine was a complete surprise and I loved it. He had a general idea of what I wanted and went from there. He knew that I wanted something with colored gemstones and something that wasn’t yellow gold. He ended up picking a 3-stone palladium ring with aquamarine accent stones and I couldn’t have picked a better ring myself.
Post # 8
Im from the UK too and agree with what you said about UK/US differences. However, FI asked me what shaped diamond I wanted (his Dad is a jeweller and was going to be making the ring), but I didn’t have anything else to do with it. I didn’t know when he was going to propose before the morning of the actual day – the fact he put a shirt on gave it away to me lol.
Post # 9
I’m from Australia, and we originally planned for ME to propose. I picked out my ring (cubic zirconia – so beautiful and I prefer it to a proper diamond) and he picked out his (just a nice band with Greek patterns). He pulled one over me and proposed to me first nearly two weeks later!
Post # 10
I’d seen mine in an antique jewellery shop and showed it to my (now) husband. He agreed it was the nicest one we’d seen and so we got it. He hates shopping and would have found trying to pick something for me very stressful so it was better for us this way!
Post # 11
I picked my ring, and FI liked it too 🙂
Post # 12
Wow, I think it is rather sweet that in UK culture, the guys keeps it a complete surprize. I think perhaps this is because the UK is so rich in their culture, and in US, it is such a miss-match culture here, that is is quite different for everyone. I wish US had a richness like the UK. All my life I have wanted to live in the UK!
I chose my own, but with good reason. I am an uber perfectionist and my finance knew this. We have different tastes and he probably would have been very stressed out trying to find a ring for me! For instance: my rings are very detailed with millgrain and etchings. His ring, is very simple and plain. lol So, I picked out my ring and 2 weeks later, he proposed. I didnt need a big elaborate proposal, so knowing it was coming didnt bother me.
Post # 13
i chose mine. the stone is the stone that was in his grandmother’s engagement ring, and i chose the setting.
Post # 14
- Wedding: May 2014 - Smithfield Center
We looked for a while (and I mean over the course of months) at rings online and finally I found one I liked – he ended up ordering it that day! He didn’t propose until about a month after he got it in the mail.
Post # 15
We picked my ring out together and I was there when he ordered it. It took 6 weeks for it to come in so I didn’t see the finished product until he proposed. I love my ring and am so glad I was able to help pick it out.
Post # 16
My husband and I went ring looking and we agreed that I would pick out my top 4 and then he got to have the final say. I wanted him to be involved in the picking of the ring and with all the options he would know that I would them no matter what.