Did you put a timeline on things?

posted 3 years ago in Waiting
Post # 2
Member
136 posts
Blushing bee

If u set a wedding date idk that he will think he needs to propose. This reminds me of prom when your dating someone so they think that they don’t have to ask you because u already talked about going together 

Post # 3
Member
3420 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Why don’t you just tell him you want him to propose? No proposal=no wedding. If this is the man you’re going to marry you should be able to talk about anything and always have open communication. If it means that much to you, then make that clear to him.

Post # 6
Member
1251 posts
Bumble bee

You definitely should talk. He needs to understand where you are coming from, because even I am having a hard time thinking that he has not proposed. If all you want is a ring to complete the deal, then you need to convey that to him. For some people proposal does not equal ring. I am confused and can see why he might be too.

Post # 7
Member
1681 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I set a loose timeline. I told myself (before I started dating now DH) that I would not date anyone for longer then 2 years if things were not progressing aka we were planning a wedding. I’m 30 so I didn’t want to waste time. So when I met DH I told him my thoughts. He said he respected them so we continued dating. Further along in the relationship, he started talking about “our wedding”. I participated in those conversations a little bit but after he brought it up a couple times I told him “no wedding talk until there is a ring on my finger” I consider myself traditional and didn’t want to let him get away with stringing me along or him “not buying the cow when he was getting the milk for free”. So the wedding talk stopped completely and he ended up proposing about 2 months before our 2 year anniversary. I don’t think I would have abruptly left exactly on our anniversary but there definitely would have been a talk making sure we were both on the same page!

Post # 8
Member
878 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

I made sure to get SO and I on the same page. I’m not engaged yet but have been promised a proposal by the end of the summer. I have some personal and school related reasons and I want to get married my spring break 3rd year ( med school, not undergrad). He very much understands my reasoning and we worked things out together. I’m not in the camp that proposing should be a total surprise all on the guys. It’s my life and I want a big part in the discussion

Post # 10
Member
2913 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas

If you have a tentative August 2016 date set, he still has over a year to propose before you even need to start planning. Give the man some time.

Post # 11
Member
8071 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

Yes I have a specific window we discussed for a proposal: before June! Eeee!!

if you’ve already set a vague date and he knows you need the formal proposal (and atleast a year to plan) then I’d let it go. You’re already jumping the gun with anxiousness… August 2016!!?!? Give it a rest!

Post # 12
Member
230 posts
Helper bee

August 2016 is still a long ways off! He might propose next year. Ours is probably the Summer of 2015 and still no ring on my finger. Don’t fret! You can definitely talk more about the date and the wedding though. I think it’d drive me crazier having a long proposal now than having a short proposal later on. I’d be too anxious!

Post # 13
Member
6279 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

if you agree to marry, then technically you are engaged.

you should be able to talk to your FH about anything.  if you think things should go in a different direction or you want something more formal then he wants, you need to tell him. 

Post # 14
Member
136 posts
Blushing bee

Agreeing to marry Is not the same thing as proposal, me and my BF talk about it all he time because we know it’s going to happen, we just have to wait til were done with school

Post # 15
Member
2395 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

If you’ve agreed to get married, you’re engaged.  You’ve already got kids?  Congrats!  The surprise ship sailed long ago.  Just get married and continue being a family.  No need to manufacture drama by counting on some surprise proposal like you’re both blushing virgins.

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