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I think if only one half of the couple wants it you will end up regretting it. When both are on board they seem to always love it, I wanted to do one myself. But as little as my FI cared about most of the wedding details, seeing me for the first time that day as I walked down the aisle was really important to him, so we kept it traditional. Although you know, looking back I wish he'd come around because I was so nervous coming down the aisle that I couldn't even enjoy the moment, I do sometimes wonder if that would of been different if we'd done a first look.
Nope, no regrets. My husband initially did not want one either and wanted the first time to be as I came down the isle. I wanted more time to take pictures and he finally warmed up to the idea when I explained it would be a private moment with just us followed by some pictures. And it did not take away from the isle walk at all! The feeling he got from me walking down it isle was not effected at all by the fact that he already knew what I looked like.
I loved it. We were both nervous wrecks before we saw one another; I'm glad we were able to calm down and spend some time together before having to deal with a bunch of other people.
And I talked my husband into it by explaining that it would let us attend the cocktail hour and eat all the wonderful hors d'oeuvres we had just picked out. That was enough to change his "But it's tradition to wait until the ceremony!" into a "Hell yes! Where do I sign up?"
we're waiting for me to walk down the aisle.. but that's because we both want it like a PP said on here... I feel like you both need to decide on one thing that'll make you both happy
Well, we'll be doing a civil ceromony in France first, and then a few months later do a Jewish wedding in the states...so can't really wait to walk down the aisle (I love my dress and don't want a second one!). I am super excited for a first look photo shoot! I actually haven't seen the trend in France, and only heard of it a few months ago when I went to the states for a friend's wedding. I'll have to explain the concept to the photographer...
Well...we didn't exactly have a first look. We didn't even think about one. But he was late and from the room I was in I could see him go into the room in the church where we got married. He didn't see me. It calmed me down a lot, seeing him, but it didn't stop me from almost fainting as I started to walk down the aisle!
My FH actually suggested we do a first look and the majority of our photography before the wedding.(not married yet, so I can't give you an exact answer)
He had talked to a colleague about her wedding and she did a first look and LOVED it.
We had the Jewish tradition of a veiling ceremony and ketubah signing before walking down the aisle, so it made sense to us to take pics beforehand. We did all of our posed pics before guests arrived, so we had lots of time for pics and didn't have to worry about it during cocktail hour.
Mr. FC decided he wanted to see my dress for the first time as a surprise coming down the aisle... we didn't really have time for a first look so early in the morning anyway, but he loved doing it the traditional way.
I dunno, if your FI wants the surprise the traditional way... maybe let him have it? But I think you both have to agree beforehand or someone will be let down! Good luck!
I didn't regret it at all! It was our favoritepart of the day! We had so much fun and weswerve both so relax. The photos from the first look are our favorite too because we just look so happy and in love and it's much easier to relax like that when everyone else isn't standing there.
I don't regret it, but it was mostly logistical. We took a lot of pictures before the wedding. We took our first look pictures, then hopped in the limo together with the bridal party and headed over to the church. We took photos outside the church as well. My only slight regret is that our first look pictures aren't great.
I saw DH a few times that day before our first look (granted I wasn't in my dress and veil). He came by my hotel room around 1 AM, and once or twice in the morning to pick up stuff that he needed.We talked on the phone a few times too.
I found blog about this and the photographers all said that you get the most honest reaction from your FI when you have a first look in private, they aren't trying to keep it together, they are just in the moment... I think it was on Austin Wedding blog, but there were pictures posted of a couples first look and then her walking down the aisle and he was just as emotional in both, they were great pictures. We are doing a first look in private and it is the thing my FI is most looking forward to. I love that it will make us more relaxed, I know a girl that doesn't remember anything from her ceremony because she was so nervous, she really regrets not doing a first look. If you are considering it I really suggest it's private, I was at one wedding were they did the first look in front of 7 bridesmaids and groomsmen, parents and grandparents, it was a little awkward and I don't think they were able to have a true reaction to the moment because everyone was just standing around staring at them.
Not one little bit. It was perfect, allowed us time together and the walk down the aisle was still super special.
I don't think we will do a first look, but I do want to do a picture where we both stand on either side of a door and reach our hands around and hold hands without seeing each other. That way we can talk a little before the ceremony, but he still gets the surprise of seeing me as I come down the aisle.
I didn't do any of that (courthouse wedding), but I will say this.
Men call so few of the shots in most weddings. If he really wants that moment of seeing you for the first time walking down the aisle, I wouldn't take that away from him.
Mr TM was a bit resistant to the idea at first but like someone else said, once I mentioned that we'd be able to get to the entire cocktail party, that was enough to change his mind...
I loved our first look, it was really just a wonderful moment between the two of us. For me, the walk down the aisle was actually even more emotional because I could focus on everyone that was there and just take it all in, not having to worry about my groom's reaction...
But like others have said, you have to do what's right for the both of you but for us, it was definitely the right decision!
We did a first look and they are some of my favorite pictures of the day. When it came time to walk down the aisle it was no less emotional, and my DH and I did not take our eyes off each other.
I regret how it worked out but I don’t regret doing it at all. My plan all along was for it to just be DH and I (well, and our photog) but our entire BP and immediate families ended up being there. DH and I still got to go off and take some pictures on our own but the whole big reveal thing was way more awkward than I would have liked it to be. This was one of the things that I wish our DOC would have coordinated differently. Afterwards I was kicking myself for not taking the reins but I had so much going through my head that it was hard to even remember to breathe correctly. I wouldn’t have changed the fact that we did a first look (I HIGHLY recommend it, actually), I just would have gone about it in a different way.
Man, I wish some of the people who voted they do regret it would comment with why...I don't know anyone who did it and regrets it! I loved having a first look and agree with others who have said that the walk down the aisle is no less special.
We loved our first look and the opportunity it gave us to connect in a more direct way before the craziness really began. And from a logistics point of view, we loved being able to attend our own cocktail hour and spend time with our guests. they are our absolute favorite people in the world, and we'll take all the time with them that we can get. IMO, it's pretty rude to guests to ditch your own party so that you can go off and take photos. They came there to be with you, so why ditch them? "Well thanks, College BFF, for using your vacation days, spending a thousand bucks, and flying across the country to see me, but I'm gonna go hang out with my photographer instead. TTFN!" I would never do that in a party that I host at my home, so I wouldn't do it for my wedding celebration either.
@kate169: I agree! We plan on doing a first look so I really want to hear from people who regretted it!
@kate169: Me too, I really want one but I'm nervous I'll regret not having the full drama. Do you think some people voted that, but really meant they decided not to do it in the first place?
Have you thought about doing something where you can meet up but not "see" each other. I love photos like this! That way maybe it will calm your nerves and that way he wont miss his moment of waiting for you to walk down the aisle.
Plus they make great photos.
It really depends on what you want as a couple. I will say I'm glad we saved our first look for the walk down the aisle! I wasn't the least bit nervous, the timing worked out better (early afternoon wedding=crazy busy morning), and it made the ceremony that much more special. I don't miss the handful of extra photos we would have gotten from a pre-staged first look.
As people have mentioned above, if you're not happy with your first look, it's probably because you weren't 100% on board as a couple, or your photographer/DOC messed up the execution in some way and the photos or moment didn't turn out as you wanted.
Honestly, I think the decision about a first look should be made by the guy! Seeing you walk down the aisle for the first time is really the only super special thing that a guy can "own" about a wedding. The dress decision is yours, a lot of the decor/food decisions are made either by the bride or by both of you, most of the wardrobe decision are made entirely by you, the flower decisions are usually largely made by the bride--first look is really the #1 thing that's totally his and always talked about as being awesome.
I thought about a first look from a practical point of view but DH was realyl against it and I went along with him. His look when I was coming down the aisle was priceless, and that way it gets to be shared with everyone.
@KatyElle: THIS! That is how I feel. FI would do a first loook if I insist, but he'd rather wait until the ceremony. So we are not doing one.
had there been an option that said "no, i don't regret it, it was okay". i would have voted that (insteasd i voted "no i loved it). i didn't find it to be the most special/intimate part of the day as it went by super fast. i walked down the stairs we hugged, i cried and we moved on to do pictures everywhere. Though i also cried at various parts of the day. so i have no regrets because i didn't want to wait until 4pm to see DH and we got a bunch of awesome pics before the ceremony. If the ceremony had been at like 9am, then i guess i would have made a point to wait till walking before he sees me.
I loved our First Look because it was @ my favorite beach, it was the closest we could get to our Beach wedding, and it was lovely to have 5 minutes w/ my DH. When I walked down the aisle, it was PURE EXCITEMENT. WE WERE GETTING MARRIED. The day had finally arrived!!!! We were soo happy that we hugged and kissed before the ceremony even began:)
I pushed DH into it a little, mostly because we had a night ceremony and I was afraid that if it went long our poor guests wouldn't be eatind dinner until 9pm.
It was a magical moment shared between him and I on that day and by no means did it change the emotion of walking down the aisle. DH still had tears rolling down his face when I got to him (and so did my dad).
We had our first look with me coming down a huge flight of stairs and DH standing with his back to me around the corner and at the bottom. He says that as soon as heard my dress start to drag down the stairs he felt his eyes well up and knew that the first look was the best choice we ever made. It was the only truly private moment we shared that day and I feel truly lucky to have had it. It was fantastic and if you are debating it, I say go for it.
@crystalirene: Oh I just Love this idea! Thanks for posting this :)
Not. At. All!
originally, my husband wasn't going for it, but then I showed him a bunch of pictures of first looks and explained to him exactly what it would consist of. (Guys just don't always "get" things) He came on board pretty quickly. Now, a year later, he tells everyone that we know planning a wedding that they should do that, lol. He constantly says how happy he is that we did that.
And, we used this time to give each other our wedding gifts.
We were doing our pictures before the ceremony, so it just made sense to do a First Look. I'm very glad we did it the way we did because DH got a chance to do the full-lookover and got to take everything in with just the two of us. We still got those butterflys while walking down the aisle, and DH still got a little emotional when we were up there, but I certainly felt more calm and ready to say those vows! ...and yet I was still doing the excited/anxious bouncing I tend to do, lol.
I will put another vote for the sort-of first look where you're not seeing each other but get a chance to calm the nerves and touch your FH, especially if he's not exactly for the full First Look. I think it's a good compromise!
i just read some of the other replies on here and i agree that if the guy wants to see u coming down the aisle, then i would definitely let him. My husband was not into wedding planning and did not understand most of these traditions. In fact, the only thing I asked him was that once i head off to the spa to get ready that he not see me until i am completely ready, so i asked if he could take his suit and get ready in his parents room. he said sure. however, because his parents balcony was overlooking the resort, as i was walking back from the spa with hair and make up done (but still wearing shorts and a tank top) - DH was on the balcony and saw me, but rather than rush back inside, he took a picture!! LOL. i am glad i didn't know until after the wedding. I had been walking with my MOH and she spotted him and yell out to him to go back inside and i was trying to use my arms to cover myself. he totally did not get the big deal in seeing me half ready as he sees me get ready on a daily basis!
anyway, as for the special-ness of him seeing you walk down the aisle and how you might not get that if you do a first look, let me say that is not true! we did our first look and the look on my husband's face as i was coming down the stairs is one of my favorite photos of the day. AND when i walked down the aisle to him - well that was more of a special/intimate moment than our first look. it didn't matter if he already saw me beforehand as this was the moment we were getting married.
here is DH seeing me at our first look
@KatyElle: ya i know i love it! and i didn't see him in that moment either as i was coming down a spiral staircase and just trying not to trip on my dress. so i was so happy to have this pic.
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SO doesn't want one, he wants to be traditional and can't wait to see me walking down the aisle towards him, but I reaaaaaaaally want one
i think it's so initimate and beautiful!