(Closed) Did you set a deadline to get married?

posted 9 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Is setting a deadline to be married a good idea?
    CRAZY- you can't make a timeline for love : (35 votes)
    45 %
    Proactive- having a plan is the key to success : (27 votes)
    35 %
    Not sure : (15 votes)
    19 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2725 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2009

    Nope! In fact, I had just come to the realization that if I never got married and never had kids (I had just turned 31) that my life would still be great and fullfilling. Funny how those things work. I met my FI a month later!

    Post # 4
    Member
    818 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2010

    When I was younger, I wanted to be married when I was 23, but it was more of a guideline. I will be 23 in July and will be married next March so I guess it worked out!

    Post # 5
    Member
    1205 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2009

    I didn’t set a deadline, but I did make a conscious decision to start dating guys I could see myself going out with, long-term. It was actually a New Year’s Resolution, "stop dating losers." I knew that I wanted to look for real love and someone who valued me.

    That said, I voted you can’t put a timeline on love. You can change your actions and perpective, be open to new guys who might not have fit your "type" in hopes that they’re husband material if you’re ready to marry or find lifelong partnership. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    277 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    When I was in my early 20’s I thought I had to be married by 25…now I’m 30 and I’m so so so happy I didn’t stand by that.  N

    Post # 7
    Member
    6010 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2009

    I think this a really interesting post.  Setting deadlines and goals for ourselves is common practice in finding the right career, school, city, etc… so why not love?  I’m not sure if it’s any more or less possible to keep with this deadline than to achieve any other goals you might set for yourself.  If you decide you want to be promoted in your career, don’t you start looking for tangible steps you can take to move yourself toward a promotion?  Even if that means looking for opportunities outside your current employer?  And you may or may not get a promotion in the time period you set for yourself, but by being proactive, you’ll probably be a lot closer to that goal at your deadline than you were when you first started.

    Post # 8
    Member
    14186 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    I have a friend who thought she was ruined if she wasn’t married right out of college. She really felt she needed to meet the guy in college, fall in love, then get married once she got out. I know it made her green with envy that i was getting married before her (even though my FI and I have been together OVER 4 YEARS) and I am 1 year younger than her.

    But it all worked out good I guess because she found the guy about a year ago and they are getting married in Sept! She fondly tells us she was "husband hunting" for him, so I think this falls under this category. We joke that she was a man hunter, haha

    Post # 9
    Member
    14186 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    For myself, I actually didn’t see myself meeting anyone until after I graduated. I went to a nerdy engineering school and was super turned off by all the nerdy boys! Well, I guess you could say I found a diamond in the rough.

    I NEVER thought I’d be 23 and getting married, not to mention planning to have a baby at 24. I figured that’d all come in my 30s!

    Post # 10
    Member
    2324 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: February 2018

    I didn’t have a deadline or a plan to be married as young as I was {25}. I honestly thought a lot about weddings as a young girl, but never about being married. 🙂 Better then than when I met my husband, I guess. Anyway, I have no issue with having an idea of what you want to do in life in regards to love, but since you’re dealing with another person, it’s not always smooth sailing, so I always thought it was best to let happen what was going to happen. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    337 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2009

    I kind of set a deadline, but not in a strict sense. My fiance is from Luxembourg, so we knew we had to get married before he finished Grad school so he could stay in the states as simply as possible.

    Then we knew we wanted to get married in the summer, so that became our deadline! 

     

    Post # 13
    Member
    270 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I didn’t but my mother did. Here was my life’s timeline:

    Go to college, meet FH.

    Get married immediately after college (Spring/summer)

    Go to medical school (this is where things get hairy)

    Have my first kid DURING ROTATION. (My mother is very obviously insane!)

     I’m very happy to say that none of this actually happened. (except the college and medical school parts – and even that didn’t go the way she planned… lol)

    Post # 14
    Member
    6010 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2009

    I definitely agree, rosychicklet.  It should be a deadline on marriage, not just a wedding.  Otherwise, I’m sure you could find someone to marry you tomorrow.  Just not necessarily the guy you’d want to have a marriage with.

    Post # 15
    Member
    473 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I never thought I’d be 27 when I got married. I thought I’d be 37. Actually, there are days that I wonder if we should wait…

    Post # 16
    Member
    541 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2009

    I’ve been with my FI for 11 years & I always thought around age 25, I’d like to be engaged (I’m 27 now) And to be honest, I was in a good place at 25 – done w/ college, established in my career. Even though it was a solid 2 years of proposal suspense, I’m glad that it’s happening now instead of earlier. It just seems even more ‘right’ for us right now.

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