Post # 1
Last night my FI came home adn told me that him and his brother were joking around that I neb=ver talk about anything else but the wedding. I know they were joking but I was upset for two reasons. 1) I felt like a joke, this is not the first time his family has poked at me before. While my family has been talking about it non stop and very supportive. His brother stated that I was ruining the surprise of the wedding for him. This made me more upset because if I cared about surprising anyone it would be my FI! Not his brother. I feel like his bro makes things about him and if he is done everyone must be done. I have a good relationship with him for the most part, but I aam tired of constant negative feedbake from them. 2) I felt like my FI was not standing up for me. I am a college grad looking for a job so stress levels are elevated. On top of that I have all the social things to do as a bride. Then I am also taking a career prep course that sucks up a lot of time. I talked about it with him and he did own up to not defending me. While I appreciate the acknoledgement it is frustrating because he complains that I talk to much about the wedding and yet he wants to be very involved. What would you do about this?
Post # 3
@MrsBobcat: I try very hard NOT to talk about the wedding. I am LilRhodyGem who is happening to plan a wedding. I am not my wedding! It’s a great topic to discuss and obviously there is so much to chat about but I get tired of it so I can only imagine that other people do too.
Blah, blah, blah, wedding, blah, blah, blah. My life is so much more than my wedding and its planning. I don’t want people to think I’m some girl who’s lived solely for this moment from birth.
Post # 4
I try very hard not to talk about my wedding too. I’ll only talk if someone asks me about it. Otherwise, it gets very obnoxious and quite frankly, no one cares about it as much as you (the bride).
Post # 5
@MrsBobcat: I try not to talk about the wedding but it’s hard. I don’t mention it at work but then when I get home it’s all I want to talk about some days – FH has mentioned that sometimes it’s a little much so I’ve tried to tone it down.
This weekend was hard, I was at a friend’s bachelorette party and I was determined that I would not talk about MY wedding because IMO it’s rude but it felt like the bride only wanted to talk about my plans. She kept asking me questions – I think she was trying to deflect questions about her wedding because she has a lot of surprised planned and tends to let things slip once she’s had a few. I still feel guilty about talking about my plans at her party tho.
Post # 6
@MrsBobcat: No one wants to hear about someone else’s wedding all the time. My family would listen to me too, but that wouldn’t mean they liked it. I talk about it if I’m asked, but otherwise I’m not really too fussed about it. I would even annoy myself if that’s all I had going on to talk about.
Post # 7
I didn’t talk about unless people asked, because really, nobody cares. They will care on the day of, and that’s it. My DH wanted to be involved, so we would talk about it for maybe 15 minutes a day, and then I would do my things and we would not talk about it. I would get his input, but we didn’t need to talk about it all night.
Post # 8
I try not to talk about it too much, but let’s be honest, when something has a big place in your life, you want to share it with your friends. One of them told me he doesn’t want to hear anything at all (he is going through a bad breakup), while his ex-girlfriend can’t get enough and keeps asking and wanting to talk about it (sometimes too much even for me). Otherwise, I have asked all of my close friends to tell me if it’s too much. I guess it depends on the person you are talking to.
Post # 9
I don’t really talk about it much. If someone asks me something about it I’ll let them know what’s up, but in general I’m mum on the subject. It cuts down on unwanted opinions 🙂
Post # 10
It’s hard to talk to my family about anything other than the wedding, to be honest. I actually talk to my FI less (the same amount at the very most) than I talk to my own family about it, especially my dad.
I do feel guilty, but honestly I try to find other things to talk about, but because all my time is consumed by this right now, I can’t have a lot of other topics to discuss. I do try to let them talk about their lives as well, and still contribute to discussion in that way.
Although, I haven’t been talking peoples ear off about the wedding for very long because I have only been planning since the end of January or beginning of February, and by the time of my wedding I have probably only talked about the wedding like a madman for maybe 3-4 months.
Post # 11
i didnt talk about my wedding either only to my daughter and my bff who was the one who always wanted to talk about it so i was lucky 🙂
if i brought up the wedding it was to remind people of deadlines to pick up their tux/dresses or times and where things were held.i know the last 2 weeks before the wedding i got on people nerves about those things but they should get their butt in gear and do what they said they were going to instead of letting timelines slip were i had to go pickup their stuff lol
but yea we always want to talk about it but no one cares like we do.my husband always listened to me and never told me i talked about it to much,but i think he was just excited as i was♥:)
Post # 12
@MrsTVLover: Agree. My FI told me at the beginning I talked about the wedding way too much. He said it felt like I cared more about the wedding than the end result (marriage). That really put the brakes on for me!
Post # 13
Yeah, sometimes too much wedding talk is bad, for both you and them. Are they religious at all? They may feel you are more into things for the wedding and not the marriage.
They also may want to develop other topics so that post-wedding there is something to talk about.
Post # 14
Hmm, I never really thought about this. I don’t talk about the wedding with real people that often because (1) I literally have so much other stuff going on, that that’s low on my list and (2) that’s what weddingbee is for, lol. That said, the one person with whom I’d think you CAN feel free to talk about the wedding is your fiance. I mean, it’s his wedding too, right?
Post # 15
I don’t think it’s a big deal. You said your FI was joking. If he starts to get panicky or mad, then back off a bit. A wedding is very exciting; talk about it and enjoy it. You’ll know if someone is getting tired of the conversation. No different than talking about anything else non-stop – a hobby or a new boyfriend or a new child. It happens.
Personally, my SO’s sister just got married. Leading up to the wedding, I would quite willingly try to talk about it with her, and she had no interest in the topic. LOL. It seemed a bit backwards, but everyone is different.
Post # 16
I didn’t talk about the wedding unless I needed his input or if he was talking to his best man over skype and I needed to tell him something.
Other than that, it never came up. Ever. I dealt with everything and I didn’t bombard my husband with it.