Post # 1
I have and 18 year old in her 1st year of college. I understand that she is adjusting to college life, so I agreed to send her $100 a week for the first year of college for spending money. Then I said she needs to get a job and take care of extra expenses on her own (gas, clothes, toiletries, entertainment, etc). But I don’t think she’s gotten it yet. She continues to ask me for money for extra things. I already pay for her cell phone, car insurance, medical and dental, and said I would continue those.
I personally have WORKED for everything I have since I was 15 years old. In high school I paid my own gas and bought my own clothes from the money I earned from babysitting and after school jobs. By my senior year in HS I worked full time after school. And during my college years I had two children and still worked full time.
Did you work while in college? If you didn’t, can you help explain to me the perspective my daughter might be having, which is that it’s too hard to do both or that she can’t find a job that also fits her school schedule?
At this point, I am sticking to my agreement of $100 a month until June then just good ‘ol tough love of saying “No. Get a job”.
Post # 3
100 dollars a week or a month?
Post # 4
I worked full time to get my associate’s degree (nursing). Then, a year after graduating, I went back for my bachelor’s and worked 2 jobs while going to school. I loved feeling independent and knowing I never had to take a dime from my parents, so for me personally it was kind of a pride thing.
Post # 5
I worked about 20 hrs a week my last 3 years of college. I didn’t work my freshman year–too busy adjusting to college life!
Post # 6
I only worked during the summers when there was no class. I was able to save up some money this way that I would spend during the school year. A lot of people work during college and a lot of people don’t. I suppose it all depends on the financial situation of the person. I think it is easier to be focused on school when you don’t have any outside obligations, but I know plenty of people who can manage both. I’ve heard it said that if you do work during school, you should not work more than 15 hours per week.
Post # 7
I worked for part of the time I was in college. The first part I relied on my college loan to make ends meet (I was a single parent at the time). The second part I worked full time while taking a full course load. Man that really sucked but I did do it.
I think if you can afford to help her out on some of her needs, that is really nice. But I do agree that she should be covering her wants.
Post # 8
@accorn: A week. And I should mention that her tuition already includes three meals a day. So it isn’t for food. It is simply for anything else she wants/needs, such as makeup, toiletries, going out with friends, gas money, clothes, etc. I want her to learn the value of money and how to budget.
Post # 9
@111111: I worked at a job that was able to deal with my student schedule. Luckily, it was a paid internship, so I was able to work in my field, make money, and not have to sacrifice school for it. That really is the way to go if she is able to swing something like that. From my freshman year to my senior year I gained real world experience as a graphic designer in an office setting. If that is not an option for her, what about student working? She may not make tangible money, but it will go toward her tuition…
Post # 10
I also started working when I was 15 and continued working all through college. Sometimes it was hard to have so much going on but it definitely taught me a lot about how to spend my money wisely. I was sometimes jealous of other people who didn’t work at all and had so much free time but I’m definitely glad looking back that I did it.
Post # 11
I didn’t work my first semester and a half since I went a good distance away to a city I didn’t know. I was just getting adjusted. However, I didn’t ask for many “extras” from my mom either. I started out with one job and ended up working 2 by my junior year because I discovered that I liked earning my own money. I paid my own insurance, my own cell phone bill, my own gas, and all my own entertainment/food/extras. I’m still in my 20’s and I’m really glad that I did work. Even though it’s not the same as when you’re out on your own completely independant, it really helped me gain an understanding of what to expect!
Stand your ground! Once the money stops, she’ll understand what you’re saying!
Post # 12
a) $100 a week is incredibly generous. My mom gave me $100 a month and I felt like it was Christmas every time I got that money deposited into my account.
b) I worked throughout college. From 20-40 hours a week. Sometimes it meant I didn’t get to have as much “fun” as my peers, because I’d have to go to bed on a Wednesday night instead of drink beers or watch a movie– which was really fine by me. In the summertime I worked from 40-80 hours a week at multiple jobs, so I could make money and have a little padding during the school year.
That said, I was horrible at managing money. I spend all of my paychecks and have no savings from my entire 4 years in college. I had a great time, went to concerts and drank on the weekends, but I wish I’d managed that money a little better.
Also my jobs filled out my resume. I’m now in grad school and have friends who have never held down a steady job or anything more than seasonal work– they don’t look marketable, have trouble finding good jobs now, and just don’t have skills they should have already learned.
I think you’re being incredibly generous to your daughter, but she should invest in a money-management class or learn how to save. You are right in saying “no” to her excess spending habits– she should learn to make the $100 work for what she needs.
Post # 13
I didn’t work my freshman year, which I think was for the best because it was tough adjusting to being away from home and the work loads. However, every year and all of the summer/winter breaks after that I did work – often two jobs. I worked for my campus’s food services department in a dining hall and several “snack bars” as well as at a few dorms as a front desk assistant. My senior year, I interned at the university’s publishing press for the summer then was offered a work-study position there during the school year.
The experience was invaluable – not only did I learn how to balance my time when it came to making sure my school work was complete, but I learned a ton about being responsible AND built up my resumé which helped me find jobs after graduation.
My mom did help me pay rent during school because there’s no way I could have afforded that with the measeley amount of pay I was receiving, but I paid for all of my groceries and other expenses. And because I had so much work experience by the time I graduated, I was able to land a part-time job less than 3 months later and a full-time two months after that, so no later than 6 months after college I was a completely self-sufficient adult.
I think what you’re doing will absolutely benefit your daughter. She might call it “unfair” now, but she’ll look back on her days working a crap job to support herself with pride and gratefulness.
Post # 14
I worked about 15 hours a week during semesters and full time during breaks. I took out loans for everything I couldn’t pay because my parents couldn’t afford to give me any money.
Post # 15
I worked though highschool on evenings and weekends but only worked on breaks during university. I worked over Christmas, reading week, thankgiving, easter etc. I probably could have worked but I preferred to focus on school…maybe the odd weekend. My job was really flexible and allowed this though, it’s not an option for everyone. $100/week (what you initally said) should be more than sufficient if you’re already paying her tuition, cell, car insurance etc.
Post # 16
I worked during the summer and that usually gave me enough spending money for the year. I worked the last semester of my senior year but classes were a joke at that point. I don’t think my parents gave me more than $200 total through 4 yrs of college…