Did you/Do you plan on following up on missing RSVPs?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Should missing RSVP's be hunted down?
    YES. : (124 votes)
    88 %
    No. No answer is your answer! : (10 votes)
    7 %
    I just want to see the poll results. : (5 votes)
    4 %
    Other (explain below) : (2 votes)
    1 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1566 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @bourkelton:  I’ll be following up. There are too many people who just assume I know their answer.

    Post # 4
    Member
    42510 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @bourkelton:  If you choose not to follow up, you or someone close to you is going to be scrambling at the last minute to find seating, food and drink for people who just show up.

    As much as you say there will be no seat for them, the reality is you can’t just ignore them until they go away, becasue they won’t.

    Post # 5
    Member
    951 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    @bourkelton:  I’m planning to followup (although I guess that may depend on just how MANY I have track down).  I’d like to be able to give people the benefit of the doubt and assume they sent it back, but it got lost in the mail.  I’d hate for someone to show up and not have a seat if that did actually happen.

    Post # 7
    Member
    9532 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I followed up on those that I didn’t hear from. I’d say 2/3s turned out to be nos and 1/3 turned out to be a “oh yes, we’re coming! I meant to send in that RSVP!” After a couple attempts there were still a few people we didn’t get an answer from and we assumed no and were correct.

    I thought it was easier to at least try to get a response from everyone rather than scrambling at the last minute. Because as much as you can say “tough for them” most people wouldn’t turn them away and then, what, they stand around in the corner while everyone eats? I might say that in theory, but I wouldn’t have the heart to do that for real, so it wouldn’t be an option for me. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    9532 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    @bourkelton:  Yeah – chasing them down kinda sucks. But I made my husband do most of that! You can growl at them to your fiance before calling and kindly asking if they’re coming!

    Post # 10
    Member
    5697 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    No way would I have wanted some unknown RSVP’s showing up to my wedding and having no place to sit, etc… I absolutely followed up. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    6506 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I would follow up. We had someone who told us they mailed it back but it never arrived. I would have felt terrible if we didn’t have a spot for her just because we didn’t follow up.

    Post # 12
    Hostess
    8680 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2014

    Yeah, I plan to follow up. But anyone who tries to give me a maybe or a indesive answer I plan to write down as a no, and I will tell them that.

    Post # 13
    Member
    6525 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @bourkelton:  Follow up. Def follow up. 

    I think its rude for them to assume that bc they dont rsvp that means no

    Post # 14
    Member
    1878 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2013 - Valparaiso, IN

    I followed up. I didn’t want any surprises. So, I guess my reasoning was a little selfish, but…

    Post # 15
    Member
    720 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    We’ve already had one RSVP show up in a bag from the post office.  It got shredded in a machine.  Luckily our address and the names of the guests survived so we could contact them.  Things happen, so we’ll be following up just in case!

    Post # 16
    Member
    721 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    i will definitely follow up with invites. what if they just forgot? i wouldn’t want to insult someone like that

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