Did your boyfriend (now FI) say "soon"

posted 3 years ago in Proposals
Post # 3
Member
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@Leatherandlace:  We picked out the ring, but he didn’t buy it and told me he wanted to take care of everything. I went through a few major trips and asked if it was going to be the time. He would say no, but that it will happen soon and when you’re not expecting it, but it will be special. And that’s all he’d say.

I don’t know how long after choosing the ring (maybe a few months), but after two trips and 4 months later, he proposed on a quiet Friday night with no particular meaning to either of us with a video slideshow. It took almost 2 months to get the ring orders since they no longer sold it so he technically had to get it custom ordered. And then he just picked a day when he could no longer take it.

Post # 4
Member
964 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@Leatherandlace:  It’s just been an on-going conversation. Started with abstract talk: “do you want kids?” “how old would you wanna be when you got married?”…lots of conversations about beliefs about marriage, our parents’ marriages. We’re at a point where we know we’re going to be together. That probably means marriage (but may not). I figure once our careers are more established we’ll just get married, no formal engagement. If either of us were in a rush, the other would do it now. But there’s no rush!

Post # 5
Member
3280 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I asked one day in July 2012 if he ever thought about marriage, engagement, etc (I hadn’t thought about it until that day, we were 19 and 20 and dating 2 years). The next month we visited one jewelry store to just browse, my beautiful ring was on sale so we bought it! He had to wait to go talk to my dad and proposed in October 2012 (at 19 and 21). So from first mention to engagement was 3 months. If a guys wants to marry someone he will get on it and mine did. I would never wait for a man, that just means he didn’t want to marry me. 

 

Post # 6
Member
8425 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@Leatherandlace:  We didn’t have an “engagement timeline” since I had always told him I never wanted to get married.  About 2 years into the relationship, he asked if I would ever want to get married to him, and I told him that he would be the only person I’d ever marry.  Later that week he took me ring shopping and was planning on proposing immediately.  Unfortunately, my father fell ill with leukemia and passed.  A month or so after that, his father fell ill with esophogeal cancer and started treatment, so our engagement was delayed because of those events.  He ended up proposing to me about a year later, after his father starting to recover from the chemo.

Post # 7
Member
975 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Banff, Alberta

@Leatherandlace:  Started September 2012. I asked if by this time next year would we be engaged and he said that was doable. In April he said “soon”. He bought the ring in May but due to circumstances (Alberta flood!) we ended up getting engaged in September. I regret pushing for a more detailed response. I knew when, where he was going to propose. It was still wonderful and sweet but not a surprise. Try to let it go now and day dream all you like in your head but don’t bring it up again. 

Post # 9
Member
1987 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

He told me within a year last Thanksgiving… we got engaged in June.  I ended up asking him, but he had the ring with him so he would’ve asked then anyway!

Post # 10
Member
177 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

We knew we were going to get married after we both finished school (he finishes in 2 weeks, I am done in May) and I just assumed it wouldn’t be until 2015 so I was never in a rush to get engaged. I never felt like I was “waiting” just because we had constant conversations about our plan for after school. We went to just browse rings over the summer and he told the saleswoman that we would be engaged by December. Then he proposed 2 weeks later. We’re getting married next fall. We have always had very open communication and have had a life plan outlined since we first started dating. I never felt the need to ask when it would happen because it always felt like we knew the plan. 

Post # 11
Member
1025 posts
Bumble bee

I had a lot of breakdonws about not being engaged yet and what was he waiting for, to the point where I just felt like I wasn’t good enough. I remeber going out one night in particular, our friend just NEEDED us to go out that night, of course I knew what was up. She was so happy and flashing her ring, and pretty in her newly engaged glow.

I started sobbing in the driveway and trying to explain it to DH. He got so frustrated with me, he thought that I should just be patient (eventually he did understand). I remeber him getting mad with me and saying ‘You have no idea how hard I’m working on giving you want you want. It will happen soon!”. Then I had to explain to him no I didn’t get it because he never shared that kind of thing with me. It happened less than two weeks later 🙂

Post # 12
Member
6407 posts
Bee Keeper

No, we never talked “timeline” and he never said “soon” to me.

We went from… “maybe we’ll get married one day haha” to “we should get married someday haha” to “we are going to get married someday” to “what kind of engagement rings do you like?” to him being like, “Oops is that a jewelry store? Let’s drop in for no reason, oh is that the ring section? What do you think honey, is that one nice?” to “Meh these rings are OKAY, but I’m going to make you an even better one,” to “I need to meet with my parents and your parents for mysterious reasons” to the proposal 🙂

It was very organic, it unfolded as it did. Never was a month or year or a sense of “soon” or “later” or “why hasn’t it occured already” into it. Of course we did not rush, we got engaged after 5 years together. I think all the stress and timelines and such happen when at least one person in the relationship has been convinced (usually by comparing themselves to other people in different relationships) that things aren’t moving “fast enough.” And it’s usually the woman. I wish I could convince women to slow down and enjoy the dating process, the engagement process, the LIFE process. It isn’t about the next stage, it’s about THIS stage. Once this stage is over, it’s GONE. So enjoy it now, because once you get engaged you’ll never get to be a “girlfriend” again.

Post # 14
Member
1136 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

@Leatherandlace:  I didn’t get ‘soon’ so much as ‘one day’… it was totally infruriating, but little did I know he had my ring made immeadiately after we saw our jeweller and he was just waiting to ask my parents permission! Super cute 🙂

He now says it was funny listening to me impatiently rattle on about getting engaged when he had the ring upstairs in his office the whole time.. yea bloody hilarious!

I knew it was coming so it wasn’t too bad, I just knew we had both mentally reached that point of being more than just bf/gf a long time ago and wanted to spend the rest of our lives together, so I wanted it to be official! 

Post # 15
Member
307 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@joya_aspera:  That was like us except I had no clue he asked my Dad

Post # 16
Member
9531 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Um.

We talked about marriage as a possibility. I said that I had to figure out if I wanted kids before I could say yes (I knew he wanted kids). I thought about it for several months. Told him I wanted to have a kid. He got the ring immediately and proposed when it was ready.

So no.

You could consider that I said “soon” and that ended up being about 8 months.

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