Post # 1
I love my dad VERY much and we have a pretty decent relationship, but I really dislike the tradition of being walked down the aisle by my father. I would like to walk by myself so he can watch me come down just like everyone else. Some of my peers have said this is perfectly fine, but my mom has been grumbling. My dad said he respects whatever I choose.
I feel a little guilty but really just don’t like the tradition. (I’m also having a destination wedding so it’s a bit more casual).
So….did your dad walk you down the aisle?
Post # 3
My dad walked me down the aisle, but it was a tradition that was very important to both of us. Plus, we had a pretty traditional wedding.
I think you can absolutely choose to forgo this tradition if you don’t like it. But in the name of family happiness, maybe you can talk with your parents about another tradition you can include (or something) that will make them happy? It’s your wedding day, yes. What you want is very important. But for your parents, it’s their daughter’s wedding day, and that’s a big deal to them. 🙂
Post # 4
My mom and dad walked me down the aisle. I didn’t view it as being given away but I really like having them both at my side as I walked towards DH.
Post # 5
My dad walked me down, because I knew he wanted to. It was not so much that he gave me away as that he escorted me down the aisle.
Post # 6
Not married yet…but my dad won’t be walking me down the aisle. Just isn’t my style, having a super duper small wedding (50-60 people) no attendants, no real procession…just me walking toward my guy, hoping it’ll be really lowkey.
Post # 7
@mscuppycake: Both my mom and dad will be walking me down the aisle. It’s equally important to my mother to have that honor. Either way, I do like the tradition for myself so it works for me. You should do what works best for you.
ETA: I too don’t see it as being given away as being lead to the altar/escorted. I’m not chattel so eff that part.
Post # 8
I was escorted by both my dad and my step-dad.
Post # 9
@mscuppycake: If my father was still alive, absolutely I would have him walk me down the aisle.
I would say rethink the idea of walking down by youself. If you are close with your dad, he would want to walk you down. Your his little girl and you’re growing up.
Post # 10
Yes he did and I am so glad he got to do that!
Post # 12
First time round (circa 1980) my Dad walked me down the aisle.
This time round, he wanted to, but we told him we were Eloping to a Destination Wedding (just the 2 of us), he was a tad hurt that he wouldn’t be there, but he got over it.
Lol, this time there was no aisle per se, just Mr TTR & I walking out onto the beach barefoot to greet our Officiant / Pastor. We walked towards them, he carrying our sandals in one hand, and holding my hand with his other. My other hand was holding up the bottom of my dress so I didn’t trip. I remember we talked and laughed all away across the beach, from car to water’s edge. It was awesome.
First time round… I’m not sure who held up who more… my Dad for me, or I for him. We were both a tad nervous having the whole room standing and looking at us.
But altho I am traditional, and it was over 30 years ago, I never perceived it to be his giving me away… I saw it to be a very intimate moment between the two of us, the last one before I married on that special day.
My Mom and I had had all morning together… with our Hair Appts, and my getting ready etc to enjoy one-on-one time. Then I had family photos with both my Parents before leaving for the Church. From that second on it was just my Dad and I. My one-on-one time with Dad was in the limo, on the front steps, waiting in the wings, and then heading down the aisle.
He was very attentive to me… getting in and out of the car etc. And he gave me a kiss on the cheek (so as not to mess my makeup) just before the doors opened… and said “here we go my dear”
AWESOME MEMORIES !!
The marriage may have been a troubled one… but NO ONE can take away my Dad & Me memories of that day.
Hope this helps,
Post # 13
@DaneLady: that’s really sweet!
Post # 14
Nope. DH and I walked down the aisle together. Both ways.
Post # 15
I have no problem with other ppl doing it and dont even blink an eye at it, but it doesn’t feel right for me. I see the wedding about our friends and family coming to witness and celebrate our union so I don’t really get why my dad or anybody else would be with me as I walk down the aisle to FI. To me, they, like the other VIPs (bridal party and groom’s parents), can walk down the aisle together as part of the procession. But since I’m not doing any giving away or that type of thing, I don’t get why anybody would be walking with me.
I’ve mentioned this to my parents and especially my mom (to have her prep him for it) multiple times, but it really hasn’t clicked in their heads. At my sister’s wedding, where she wore a blusher and my dad walked her down the aisle and then pulled the blusher back, ppl kept saying my dad was getting practice for my wedding. But I’m not wearing a blusher (just not a fan of face covering personally) and even if I was, I’d flip the thing back myself. I’m just not too into the old school giving away etc. I see myself as a feminist and this is one of the few clear areas that it affects things and conflicts with tradition.
I’m still going to do what I can to make my dad feel special and make sure ppl know there isn’t any fight- my parents will walk down the aisle in procession, they can give a toast at welcome party maybe (but we’re really paying for everything), they can maybe be announced for grand entrance at reception, and their names can be on program somewhere, we might do father-daughter dance- not sure.
Post # 16
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
@mscuppycake: My dad walked me down the aisle when I got married the first time. I have since divorced and am getting married for a second time in November. I originally wanted to walk by myself since I am divorced and have had to remind my dad that I am a grown woman and not a child after my divorce.
However, after speaking to my stepmom I realized it was something that was important to him and not asking him would hurt his feelings so I plan to have my dad walk me down the aisle again. I actually like the idea now that I have thought about it because I would be super embarassed to walk down the aisle all along because although I am not a shy person in general, I don’t like being stared at.