Post # 1
My fiance’s parents keep suggesting more expensive alternatives to certain aspects of the wedding that I have planned. I wanted to do buffet for example because its cheaper, they want plated entres. I wanted to do chicken and meatballs, they want steak and shrimp. They’d said they could help pay for some of it but I don’t know how much or if they still plan to. They also did say they’d pay for one keg. I’d like to know how much they’re willing to pay for but they’re sort of intimidating and I cant work up to courage to bring it up. I wish they’d just tell me because I dont want to have to ask.. My fiance’s dad is a executive vice president of a bank and his mom is a college advisor of some sort, so it’s not like they’re struggling to make ends meet by any means. Did any of you have to ask or did they offer?
Post # 3
Paying for it all ourselves.
My aunt asked to help direct the rehearsal dinner though we fully intend to pay. And to be honest that has escalated quickly. She emails me several times a day…a million billion questions. I wish we hadn’t said she could help, it’s so much more work and stress and she keeps pushing us to go in different directions then where we had said we wanted…then we acquiece and then a few emails later she’s asking us whether we want our old choice or this new choice…and it’s like going in circles.
Post # 4
We didn’t ask and they didn’t offer. They aren’t exactly in the best place to do so.
Maybe you can explain to them that this is what we can afford, so this is what we’re doing. I think its best to be honest…
Post # 5
His side hasn’t offered, and we haven’t asked.
My mom is giving us a little bit [about $900] for the open bar, otherwise it’s all us.
Post # 6
We paid for it all ourselves, but the rehersal dinner. If it’s FI’s parents insisting on the upgrades then shouldnt FI talk to them about how much they are contributing? I would really caution against YOU asking them how much they are kicking in, and let him handle his family.
Post # 7
His parents paid for 1/4, my parents paid for 1/4, DH and I paid for the rest.
Post # 8
@HisIrishPrincess: I’ve asked him to ask them, but I think he’s just as apprehensive as I am.. I think I’ll just let it go and continue on with my plans.. If they offer they offer if they don’t thats fine, but they won’t be eating surf and turf at our wedding! lol
Post # 9
My FI’s parents kicked in $5000, and I’m sure they picked up a little something here or there, so I voted $5000-10000 since there was overlap right at $5000.
Post # 10
My Mom is paying for most of the wedding, my Dad covered all of the DP ‘s on our venue, and FI and I are chipping in as well. FI’s family is not able to really contribute, but they did offer to pay for the rehearsal dinner, which was really great of them.
Your situation is different though, and I would say that you should not ask – but if they continue to push certian upgrades, you and your FI need to be clear that what you’re doing is within your budget. If they then decide to say “well, we’ll up your budget by XX.XX), then there you go.
Post # 11
No, whe are from differents countries.. His family it´s paying for they aeroplane tickets, hotel, (that it´s always expensive) to comme to the wedding, And my family it´s helping us with the wedding…My mom give me my dress , my dad 70 % of the wedding. They help us because i´m finishing the university and and my boyfriend it´s paying for our house.
Post # 12
We’re paying it ourselves. We didn’t ask either of our parents, although they + other uncles and aunts offered.
Post # 13
His parents paid for the rehersal dinner which was probably aobut 1500. My parents paid for the reception which ended up to be about half. My mom also pushed for more food and appetizers, which I didn’t really want to do, but gave in since she didn’t mind the extra cost so it was easier than arguing with her to save money. If they are pushing for something, and say they will help pay, I would get cash in hand before setting anything stone. It’s just too risky imo to go over what you are comfortable with without having the money for it.
Post # 14
My family is paying the bulk, though I believe my FI and I will chip in a couple thousand. His family isn’t paying even though they have the means, and that is for several reasons – for one, they are already flying 5,000 miles to attend the event. Secondly, they have said they will help us out financially when I move over there and help pitch in with furniture and moving costs. Overall I’m a happy camper.
Post # 15
His parent aren’t giving us money per se but they have volunteered to pay for the rehearsal dinner, the tuxes, and the bridal party hair. which I assume will come to around 1000-1500
Post # 16
They gave us $5000 which we’re putting towards our honeymoon.