Did your SO ask your father for his blessing?

posted 3 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
43 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2015

My SO asked for my hand, my mom said yes, my dad could barely talk 🙁 A few hours later, my dad passed away in the hospital of terminal cancer.  It sounds really sad, but he was sick for a long time so we knew it was coming, that’s one of the reasons he asked because he was scared my dad was not gonna make it through the night so he went ahead and asked – he knew it was important to me.

A month after we were ringshopping and he proposed 5 months later, in 2011.

Post # 4
Member
478 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

No! But my dad isn’t really like that. He’s very laid back and as crazy as it sounds it wouldn’t have made a difference to my dad.

Post # 6
Member
583 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

@Peekaboo:  That is so beautiful and I am so sorry for your loss! It was lovely of your FI to ask your dad 🙂

@orangeuexcited:  My FI asked both my mum and dad, only because my dad is quite an emotional person and doesn’t handle pressure too well! So I gave dad a few days warning so he knew the question was coming. FI proposed a few weeks, I think about 2 weeks later. 

Post # 8
Member
43 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2015

@orangeuexcited:  

@sunshinewish15:  

 

Thanks girls. It was a very special moment. Both me and my FI was crying,
my mom held my hand. Everything was very sad, but still I think my dad was happy to lay to rest when he knew that I finally found the one. I will always appreciate my FI for this. <3 You know, he is better now, without pain.

Post # 9
Member
2057 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - British Columbia

Okay, warning; LONG! Ha, ha.

I am glad my FI asked my dad for his blessings  in 2009 — even though my dad asked me later what SO was talking about — after the meeting!! And yes, I was an observer/part of the meeting. My whole family sat down together. That was the year SO first met my dad.

It was more of an educational thing; SO and I at the time talked about commitment and getting a house together; etc. I said to SO, “It’s a Chinese custom for you to ask my dad for his blessings.”

To which, my dad said, “Yes to getting married. No to living together before being married.” (We did anyway, but my dad loved the place we bought)

I kept foiling FI’s plans to propose -> queen of klutz Laughing

I’m glad I had a conversation with my dad as he forgot about FI asking for his blessings. My cousin was getting engaged the “blessings” way in my hometown. So, my dad brought up, “How come M didn’t ask for my blessings?”
I said, “Yeah, he did. Remember? You asked me what he was talking about because his English was too fast for you to understand.”

Smile Knowing that my FI has my dad’s blessings has really helped me with the wedding planning process as the customs would require us to postpone the wedding for 1,000 days. The only reason we didn’t change the date was that my dad was planning to come anyway. We dressed him in the suit he was going to wear to our wedding before we laid him to rest.

Post # 10
Member
240 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Yep my FI rung my mum and my dad ( they are separated) then asked me 2 weeks later 🙂

Post # 11
Member
1965 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

My Husband didnt ask and my dad is always bringing it up. It did annoy me a little a I did mention to my then BF that if he were ever to propose he needed to ask for dad for his blessing first as hes quite traditional like that. 

Maybe if we ever renew our vows i will get him to ask my dad then. 

Post # 15
Member
2057 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - British Columbia

@orangeuexcited:  Yeah, my parents are traditional. There was still resistance about us living together; prior to getting engaged, it’s something my parents would always occasionally bring up! To which, I would hear some of my parents’ friends say, “他们自己喜欢的。“ (It’s their choice; you can’t really have a say.) LOL, because my parents were initially opposed to the idea of me dating a non-Chinese guy. They eventually learned to love him as their own son. 🙂

However, I’ve learnt that you can’t argue with good logic. So, I would talk sense and dollars. (Well, cents and dollars about paying for mortage versus paying for rent; etc) Plus, it’s also quite impossible to buy a house after funding for a wedding without relying heavily on debt.

ETA: That kind of pressure made it awkward for FI, actually, now that I recall. He said to me once, “I don’t want the proposal to be a business transaction. I want it to be romantic.”

Post # 16
Member
6964 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@orangeuexcited:  He did ask. Or rather, he called and told my dad he planned to propose and why and dad then asked “sooooo are you asking for my blessing?”  apparently they were both super nervous! I told FI I’d like him to do it because I knew my dad would like it. 

And he called on Sunday and proposed the following Thursday. Good thing because dad was going crazy keeping the secret. 

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