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Sometimes moms and daughters clash on the dress and that is mooooore than okay! I promise that "she should have gone with the other one" will be the LAST thing on her mind while you're walking down the aisle! My mom and I have very different taste in clothes (I tend to be more classic and she tends to be funkier- sometimes it reverses itself though) and we probably won't agree on a dress, either.
I am sorry I don't have a similar situation but I was wondering whether you and your mom normally agree on clothing styles?
Do you think she will learn to love your dress? The number one thing is you have to go with the dress YOU love!
This didn't happen to me, but maybe your mom will grow to love your dress and later realize it was the one for you because you love it so much! I say go for the one you love, its hard to please everyone, and in the end YOU ARE THE ONE WEARING IT!
And don't worry how it looks on the hanger, just care about how it looks on YOU!
Seeing as how your mom is probably 20+ years older than you, I think it's 100% expected that you have a difference of opinion regarding taste of a bridal gown.
To my mom, it was "full poof princess or it's not a wedding dress"
I ended up with a fit and flair that she ended up loving unexpectedly, but it definitely wasn't what she thought a wedding gown would be.
A lot of my friends went through this. One girl bought THREE WEDDING DRESSES b/c her mom was so anti about the one she initially picked. She went back to her style eventually but she wasted a ton of dough. Long story short, do what makes YOU happy bc that should be all that matters in your life. You have to wear it, not your mom. Remind her how, with hair, makeup, jewelry, etc, the dress becomes PART of the ensemble, not THE ensemble. It should compliment you and your taste, not distract from it.
Edit: mine looked like crap on the hanger. Totally blah. I didn't even want to try it on until a saleslady forced me. So def don't worry about how it looks on the hanger.
Um, I am not entirely sure how my mom felt about it - she isn't really one to show much emotion about anything, haha. But my advice would be to get the dress YOU love - on your wedding day she won't be thinking about how she doesn't like your dress - she'll be thinking about how excited she is for you!
My mom did not like my dress when I picked it. She groused about it up until the wedding, but I blocked out the comments. On the wedding day she admitted that she couldn't imagine the whole outfit together, but that it came together beautifully. Just stick with your vision, and don't let her disuade you!
Moms tend to have a much more traditional image of the wedding and have a hard time imagining stuff that's slightly different!
My mom didn't go shopping with me since she's in another state, but when I showed her a picture of me in the dress at the store pre-alterations (so the dress was too long and looked sloppy on the bottom), she was just "eh" about it and didn't think it was worth the amount I was about to pay for it. But I bought it anyway because I think it's sometimes hard for mom's to get the picture they have in their head to be in sync with what their daughters want. If YOU feel great in the dress, get the dress. Once she sees you in it on the day she'll love it too!
You should get the dress that you like best. My mom doesn't like my dress either--she is very classic and traditional and plain and I wanted sparkle and glitz and glamour. I ended up compromising, but she still doesn't like it, and I still wonder about going back to that first store and getting the one and only dress I felt the "wow" factor in. You are the one that has to wear the dress, not her.
I am in the same situation as you are...when I showed my mom my gown (it is all lace) she told me that it looked like the napkins that she bought for Easter haha! It doesn't bother me because obviously she is in her 50s so has different taste in gowns than I do. I just keep in mind the feelings that I had when I tried it on and that is all that matters to me :)
i have a feelig that my mother is going to hate my gown. she likes the sleek elegant look and i like the princess wedding gowns. my gown isn't too poofy but i'm wearing hoop skirt underneath. she doesn't like too much beading and my gown is very intricate. we have opposit tastes most of the time!
Yes!! This just happened to me when I ordered my dress a couple of weeks ago. I had found a dress (Maggie Sottero Laurel) that I LOVED the first time I shopped. I thought that I shouldn't just buy it because I liked it right away in case I found something better or changed my mind. My mom was IN LOVE with the Laurel. I went back to the shop a month later with every intention of buying the dress. When I put it back on...I did not like it AT ALL!! I got very sad. I found another one (Maggie Sottero Vivien) in Silver Mist (very unusual) and fell even deeper in love with it. My mom thought it was weird at first to have a silver dress and she thought that the dress was kind of plain (i'm wearing it without the straps).
I think she caught on that I really loved it and kind of 'went through the motions' of pretending that it's 'the one', but I have an underlying feeling that she really doesn't love it... It's tough!
If YOU love the dress, that's what matters. Ultimately, I'm glad I ordered mine. Don't let others influence your decision! :)
Yes! My mom likes the more traditional, kinda puffy ballgown look, while I love the trumpet/fit-to-flare look -- and I ended up getting a form-fitting gown. It was hard to go dress-shopping with her (so eventually I stopped!) because we just have very different ideas what a wedding dress "should" look like. One of my MOHs also didn't like the dress I ended up getting (and was kinda vocal/borderline obnoxious about it too).
I know how important it is to feel like you have your mom's appoval and blessing for the dress, but I think no matter what she'll think you look absolutely beautiful on your wedding day! And she will NOT be thinking that you should have gone with the other dress -- she'll just be so happy for you. And in the end, the dress really is all about YOU, and I think truly loving the dress and feeling confident in it will show on your wedding day.
I think it can be true that moms can have a different vision for the wedding dress than daughters. I tried on a couple of dresses that my mom suggested and I was like "um, not in a million years". Lucky for me, when my mom saw them on me, she didn't like them either! My mom ended up loving my dress, even though it was nothing like what I thought I wanted.
However, my MIL did not like my dress. She kept saying how "interesting" it was when she saw photos, so I could tell she wasn't liking it. On the day of the wedding (like moments before I walked down the aisle) she told me how she hadn't liked it before, but she "understood" it more seeing it in person. whatever, I loved it. ;)
My mom liked every dress she saw in the store so she was no help. lol I don't think my FMIL likes my dress as much, though. She was rather silent (sign that she doens't like it), but later politely (another sign) told me I looked beautiful. Whatever, it's MY gown and I don't like her taste anyway. :)
It's very difficult to have every one love the dress as much as you do, but remember YOU have to love it!
My mom isn't that in to my dress....but she doesn't have to wear it. She's happy I found something I love. She's going to think I look fabulous on my wedding day no matter what, and I'm sure your mom is the same way!
The first dress that I thought I loved (and even put a deposit on it at the Bridal Garden) - my mom absolutely hated it. She thought it looked like a sack of potatoes on my and did nothing for me. Ultimately, she was right. We looked again and we found a dress that we both loved - a Madame Trousseau dress. Since I live in CA (but got married in NY) she thought it would be a good idea to get the dress out there for alternations, etc. So, my mom, sister, SIL and MIL went to try on dresses but thinking my mom and I had already found the one.
Well, I tried on a dress that we all just fell in love with. All five of us knew as soon as I walked out that this was the dress. It was perfect and incorporated everything I was looking for in a dress...but didn't know it. It was a Badgley Mischka dress that I was able to get as a sample. Well above what I wanted to spend but worth every penny and everyone was happy!!
My mom wanted the other dress at first too. It looked very nice, but it just wasn't a wedding dress to me. Once the consultant threw a veil on and tossed me a bouquet while my mom wasn't looking, she turned around and started bawling and saying that I was a real bride now. Then...all of the other mothers started crying and then the brides too because their moms were crying - it was a mess. Hahahaha.
Give it time. It happens, but she'll come around. Good luck!
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Here's the backstory: Yesterday I went dress shopping with my mom, SIL, and FSIL. The dress I've had my eye on was a huge hit with everyone - but my mom. She just wasn't feeling it. Then we went to the second store where I tried on the other contender, and my mom loved it, but for whatever reason I just wasn't feeling it as much (even though in relation to dress #2, it has more of a *wow* factor on the hanger).
If I end up picking dress #1, which felt right even though on the hanger isn't as *wow*, I can't help but think that all my mom will be thinking on the big day is: "She should have went with the other one."
Have any of you ended up with a dress your mom (or someone close to you) didn't like? How did you handle it?