Post # 1
Or did it happen when you were NOT looking for anything serious but as time went by, it turned serious?
I ask because I recently read somewhere that if a guy mentions that he is not looking for a “serious” relationship at that time in life, to run the other direction. And so I was wondering whether there was truth in that or you should still give that sort of a relationship a chance. (and it would NOT be a FWB type of relationship or dating multiple people at once)
Post # 3
For me, I’ve never been really LOOKING for something serious, but once I start dating someone, if I really like them, I quickly begin to take things seriously. My now DH was looking for a serious relationship when we met, but I was not.
Post # 4
when anybody tells you they’re not looking for a serious relationship, it generally means they’re not interested in YOU.
Post # 5
@savychic1616: Yup, we actually discussed marriage on our first date. Neither of us wanted to waste any time. We’d known each other for a couple of years (he was with someone else at the time). We decided to get pretty serious right away.
I wanted to make sure that he was open to marriage since his ended, and he wanted to be with someone who actually loved him.
Post # 6
My DH and I were both very much on the same page in that we no longer saw the point of starting to date someone who was not interested in the relationship leading to marriage. It definitely takes both people being ready.
Post # 7
DH and I dated for two years in high school, and though we thought it was just a high school fling at first, it was REALLY serious by the end. Then we broke up. Four and a half years later, we really started talking again. When he finally said he wanted to try dating again, we both knew going into it that this would be it. We knew we were playing for keeps. We were pretty sure we’d end up married. We talked about that before we even started dating again.
We were right, and we got married. It worked out pretty well for us. 🙂
Post # 8
I was guarded when we first started talking as I had just gotten out of a really bad relationship. But, I was pretty clear that I wasn’t going to be interested in just hooking up or having a fling. Thankfully the first time we hung out we realized that neither of us wanted to date just to date anymore.
Post # 9
I didn’t realize that he could be somebody I could spend my life with until like a full year in…granted we also started dating as freshmen in college, so it’s not like we were at an age where it seemed important to date somebody who you might marry, if it hadn’t worked out with him, I frankly still would have felt like I had plenty of time to find somebody else. It just turned out that we started out hooking up, eventually became really good friends too and realized we’d rather date exclusively than deal with the college scene, and after a year or so realized that it was serious and could be something real. If I were out of college at the time, I wouldn’t bother dating anybody who didn’t have the potential to be marriage material though. Or who said he didn’t want something serious.
Post # 10
@roweboat: This exactly.
When I met my FI, he was very into being single, not inderested in marriage or a serious long-term relationship. He wasn’t looking to date other people at the same time he was dating me but he certainly wasn’t going into it with the intention of being together forever. But we were always very open with each other about where we were at and what our expectations were, and our relationship grew into something serious and long-term, fairly quickly in fact.
Post # 11
- Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island
Hmm, I never asked him if he was looking for something serious. I told him that I wasn’t. He told me he loved me 1 month in. I didn’t say it back until 2 months in. Fast forward six years and now we’re getting married! You never know how things will turn out.
Post # 12
Not at all, we were both ending horrible marriages and came together as old friends first. It got serious pretty quickly but there were a lot of snags because we were both rebounding from our failed marriages.
Post # 13
Absolutely not, I was 18 for goodness sakes. Him yes but me absolutely not.
Post # 14
I was not at all in search of a relationship when we met, but I took immediate notice of how straightforward and honest he was about his interest and intentions from the first day we met. He told me that he had been praying for a wife and he believed that God had led him to me. It only took a day or so for me to appreciate it and less than a week before we were officially a couple. I only believe in terminal relationships (that is, I dont do commitment for the sake of commitment. If we’re in a relationship, its because we are both interested in marriage) so, we began talking marriage/future immediately. We dated about 6 months before setting a date.
Post # 15
I’ve never seen the point in wasting my time dating anyone that I wouldn’t be interested in marrying.
So if at any point I couldn’t see myself marrying that person, it was time to end it. I think FI felt similarly.
I don’t think we were really putting any kind of *pressure* on ourselves to get serious, though- we were only about 17 at the time. We also dated for two months before we became official/exclusive.
We started talking marriage ‘one day’ about a year later, around 18. Almost 3 years after that came the proposal.
Post # 16
Neither of us wanted a relationship when we met. In fact, he was my first forray into no strings attached, casual sex. Turns out i’m reallllly bad at casual sex.