Did your SO ask your father for the blessing?

posted 3 years ago in Proposals
  • poll: Did your SO ask for your father's blessing before proposing?
    Yes : (292 votes)
    59 %
    No (if not please tell me how come, PLEASE avoid negativity and sharkiness!) : (207 votes)
    41 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3721 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Nope. I haven’t spoken to my father in more than 30 years 

    he did call my mom though and let her know he was doing it at day – wasn’t really asking permission, more like a heads up (he didn’t tell her sooner because he knew my mom would tell me!)

    Post # 4
    Member
    774 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    FI asked both of my parents 🙂

    Post # 5
    Member
    2565 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    No, because I was the one who proposed. But if he had done it the only person he needs to ask is me. If he had asked my parents for any kind of blessing or permission I would have been pissed off.

    Post # 6
    Member
    839 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    No, my FI did not ask, and it’s because I made it clear that I didn’t want him to ask. I love my father, and we have a great relationship. But I’ve never felt that my father’s blessing was necessary for me to become engaged. I’m an adult, and my decision to marry my FI only requires my blessing. Luckily, my father respected my wishes to skip the “blessing” step. 

     

    Post # 7
    Member
    9412 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    No, he didn’t. I think the concept is silly. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    8720 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    No, my family is not old-fashioned. We never even thought about it to be honest. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    169 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    Mine asked my mom (my dad passed away a couple years ago) and I cried when he told me. We were together 9 years when he proposed so it meant that much more that he still felt the need to ask my mom first. It’s such an amazing gesture!

    Post # 11
    Member
    1441 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    No.  First, my father is dead. But even if he weren’t, I’m an adult and make my own choices and no one else’s permission is required.

    Post # 12
    Member
    5087 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2014

    He did yes, my dad said that it wasn’t needed because I’ve been married before. I thought it was a sweet gesture regardless. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    31 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    Yes! We are both very old fashioned, and it meant a lot to both me, and my family, that he asked permission. 🙂

    Post # 14
    Member
    473 posts
    Helper bee

    He had unofficially asked my dad a few months before. Then he formally asked my mom (my dad was in the hospital) the night before we went away for what would be our engagement weekend trip, and showed her the ring. I am shocked that my mother kept it secret for those twelve hours. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    905 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    Nope!  If FI had asked my father for his permission/blessing, my father’s response would have been “Why are you asking me?!  Go ask Phamnomenon!”  My parents have both consistently shown their “approval” of my FI throughout our relationship.  There was no need to formalize their acceptance.  

    Besides, the whole thing smells a bit antiquated to me.  I’m an independent adult capable of making my own decisions, and I have been for many years.  It’s how my parents raised me to be.  And why didn’t I have to ask FMIL for her blessing to marry her son, eh?  I’m “taking” him from his family, too!

    HOWEVER, this is just how I feel.  If your situation has given you the warm fuzzies, that’s GREAT, because it means you’re happy with the way your engagement is playing out!  Congratulations on your upcoming betrothal 🙂

     

    PS – actually, when I was finally able to transfer FI’s cell phone from his mother’s plan to my own, Verizon did make me call her and for her permission!  I got a kick out of that!

    Post # 16
    Member
    1400 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    @crisy003:  Aww that sounds so sweet, congratulations! And since it sounds like you’re hard to surprise lol,  please know that even if your proposal ends up not being a surprise, it’ll still be incredible! I knew mine was coming and on what day for a week, and it just meant I was incredibly excited for a week 🙂 And the details were still a surprise.

    My FI didn’t ask my parents’ permission, and I’m not sure I would have wanted him to, but that’s because we’re both very progressive in a lot of ways and I like to think of myself as an independent woman. And FI thinks it’s very old fashioned. If it had been important to me I would have told him so when I told him what I really wanted in a proposal: an inexpensive, whimsical ring in a velvet box (so I could be surprised by that but pick out my engagement ring), and for him to get down on one knee. Anyways, my parents are very laid back and love my FI, so they weren’t offended.

    Leave a comment


    Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

    Find Amazing Vendors