Post # 1
I have an old fashioned family and so does my SO. Both he and I were raised in the way that parents should be respected and that the father of the bride must be asked for permission before the guy proposes. Did your SO, FI, or Hubby ask your dad for his blessing? If not how come?
So, I just can’t help but gush a little because i’m in an INCREDIBLY fantastic mood right now! Last night my boyfriend of 3 years asking my dad for his blessing. It was supposed to be a secret but, it’s about impossible to keep secrets from me! I had gone upstairs to brush my hair, when I came down my dad pulled my SO aside and said. “Now I have a questiong for you.” I knew what that conversation was about so I just went back to another room and put in a movie.
My SO and I have picked out our ring and I know he was wanting to order it soon, and I do know he had put a down payment on the diamond center stone he picked out for it as well. (Again, secrets are hard to keep from me). I’m just very excited and I feel like the proposal is coming soon!
He knows my favorite time of year in winter up here in Minnesota, I love all the ice on the lakes, the soft sparkly white snow, and that sometimes we get snowed in which means sitting by the fireplace with cocoa and cuddles. We have a military ball coming up in December so I’ve been thinking that it could possibly happen there, but we’re also a very nature loving couple so I’ve been thinking it could happen on a little sunset walk around a frozen lake out in the country since we enjoy doing that during winter and seeing the wildlife… But who knows, he could be planning something totally different, all I know is I’m SO excited for him to pop the question so that we can finally get our life started together!
Post # 3
Nope. I haven’t spoken to my father in more than 30 years
he did call my mom though and let her know he was doing it at day – wasn’t really asking permission, more like a heads up (he didn’t tell her sooner because he knew my mom would tell me!)
Post # 4
FI asked both of my parents 🙂
Post # 5
No, because I was the one who proposed. But if he had done it the only person he needs to ask is me. If he had asked my parents for any kind of blessing or permission I would have been pissed off.
Post # 6
No, my FI did not ask, and it’s because I made it clear that I didn’t want him to ask. I love my father, and we have a great relationship. But I’ve never felt that my father’s blessing was necessary for me to become engaged. I’m an adult, and my decision to marry my FI only requires my blessing. Luckily, my father respected my wishes to skip the “blessing” step.
Post # 7
No, he didn’t. I think the concept is silly.
Post # 8
No, my family is not old-fashioned. We never even thought about it to be honest.
Post # 10
Mine asked my mom (my dad passed away a couple years ago) and I cried when he told me. We were together 9 years when he proposed so it meant that much more that he still felt the need to ask my mom first. It’s such an amazing gesture!
Post # 11
No. First, my father is dead. But even if he weren’t, I’m an adult and make my own choices and no one else’s permission is required.
Post # 12
He did yes, my dad said that it wasn’t needed because I’ve been married before. I thought it was a sweet gesture regardless.
Post # 13
Yes! We are both very old fashioned, and it meant a lot to both me, and my family, that he asked permission. 🙂
Post # 14
He had unofficially asked my dad a few months before. Then he formally asked my mom (my dad was in the hospital) the night before we went away for what would be our engagement weekend trip, and showed her the ring. I am shocked that my mother kept it secret for those twelve hours.
Post # 15
Nope! If FI had asked my father for his permission/blessing, my father’s response would have been “Why are you asking me?! Go ask Phamnomenon!” My parents have both consistently shown their “approval” of my FI throughout our relationship. There was no need to formalize their acceptance.
Besides, the whole thing smells a bit antiquated to me. I’m an independent adult capable of making my own decisions, and I have been for many years. It’s how my parents raised me to be. And why didn’t I have to ask FMIL for her blessing to marry her son, eh? I’m “taking” him from his family, too!
HOWEVER, this is just how I feel. If your situation has given you the warm fuzzies, that’s GREAT, because it means you’re happy with the way your engagement is playing out! Congratulations on your upcoming betrothal 🙂
PS – actually, when I was finally able to transfer FI’s cell phone from his mother’s plan to my own, Verizon did make me call her and for her permission! I got a kick out of that!
Post # 16
@crisy003: Aww that sounds so sweet, congratulations! And since it sounds like you’re hard to surprise lol, please know that even if your proposal ends up not being a surprise, it’ll still be incredible! I knew mine was coming and on what day for a week, and it just meant I was incredibly excited for a week 🙂 And the details were still a surprise.
My FI didn’t ask my parents’ permission, and I’m not sure I would have wanted him to, but that’s because we’re both very progressive in a lot of ways and I like to think of myself as an independent woman. And FI thinks it’s very old fashioned. If it had been important to me I would have told him so when I told him what I really wanted in a proposal: an inexpensive, whimsical ring in a velvet box (so I could be surprised by that but pick out my engagement ring), and for him to get down on one knee. Anyways, my parents are very laid back and love my FI, so they weren’t offended.