Post # 1
FI and I got to talking tonight about what we’re going to do once I am pregnant.
To give you some background, FI and I love drinking together. (wine specifically). It is a huge part of our normal routine.
FI is of the thought that he is going to continue drinking while I am pregnant. However, I would like him to stop or cut way back. When I said this he looked at me like I had sprouted a second head.
What did your SO do?
Post # 3
My DH didn’t drink to begin with but he did cut back on caffeine and junk food with me 🙂
Post # 4
I naturally assumed that my FI wouldn’t drink simply because I couldn’t drink. I was waaaaay off! He drank like he normally would, and occasionally drank waay more than he normally would. I got used to it, because I knew that after the baby was born neither of us would have much time to be drinking inbetween not sleeping and changing diapers etc.
Post # 5
He cut back some. I didn’t expect him to- why should he have to suffer along with me? 🙂
Post # 6
Mine didn’t drink at all so nothing changed. However, he did stop going to the tanning bed since I couldn’t go – and we used to go once a week.
It means a lot to me that he would give up something because I’m not allowed do it. I don’t think it’s so much about what it is (in your case, drinking) but that it shows he realizes that my lifestyle had to change when I got pregnant and he respects that.
Post # 7
Between the two of us I was always the bigger drinker- he is a little older than me and kind of over it, while my friends and I are all in our 20s and most of them are single so drinking is something that happens every weekend and a fair amount of weekdays. I thought I would really miss drinking and maybe at some point I will, but so far it doesn’t even sound good. Husband went out last night for the first time since we found out with some of his friends and that was fine with me. Before we found out, he’d probably go out drinking once every couple of months so I imagine he’ll keep that pattern and I’m cool with that.
In a situation like what you describe though, I would expect him to cut back. It’s just a way to show support. When my aunt was pregnant she was a heavy smoker and she really struggled going without while she was pregnant. My uncle would yell at her for slipping up, but he was right there smoking too. I thought that was really kind of crappy. No, there’s no physical need for the guy to cut back drinking (smoking might be a different story) but it just seems mean to me to keep indulging when the woman can’t, because she is pregnant with their child.
Post # 8
Mine started drinking way more. I was in University and we weren’t planning on having kids. He made things pretty stressful – but luckily for me and our son he stopped drinking once he was born.
Post # 9
Mine said he’d stop at first but then it seemed really pointless. He brews his own beer and is part of a beer brewing club and if we’d have dinner with people it just seemed kinda weird for him to say no he didn’t want a glass. Especially if we were just hanging out with one other couple, they’d feel like they couldn’t drink then either. I really haven’t had any cravings for it so it really doesn’t bother me and I like to go out and hear bands once in awhile at bars still (yay for no smoking in bars around us). We used to have a glass of wine or beer with dinner some nights during the week and he doesn’t usually do that. So he cut back but didn’t stop completely.
Post # 10
He doesn’t drink so it wasn’t an issue. But I don’t think I’d mind too much if he did and wanted to continue. He eats things that I love (chocolate) but can’t have, and I eat things that he loves (dairy, ice cream) that he can’t have. We deal with it.
Post # 11
I can’t vote yet, since I don’t have kids, but I told FI that if I were to get preggo, he is not doing anything I can’t do. he wants the brat, so he’s gonna suffer along with me, I’ll see to that.
Post # 12
Not pregnant, but I can promise you that when I am, my SO will be drinking less… because I do the grocery shopping, hahahaha…. and he knows the rule: unless it’s on the list, don’t expect me to bring it home. But he never puts anything on the list 🙂
Post # 13
Not pregnant yet but FI wouldn’t change his drinking habits. I wouldn’t expect him to! He isn’t the one actively creating life. Not that he drinks much to begin with.
Post # 14
A while back I joked with DH that he should give it up if I had to and he said he would if I gave him an ultimatum. Now that I actually am pregnant I don’t expect DH to change his drinking habits at all. He’s a hard worker so I think he earns kicking back and enjoying a few beers.
That said, if all goes well for us and the months press on, if I’m really miserable I’d probably want him to be miserable with me. At least on my bad days 😉
Post # 15
I haven’t been pregnant yet, but I would prefer for FH to cut back if I was, just as a show of support. However, it probably wouldn’t bug me too much if he didn’t, just because I hardly ever drink anyways — when we go out to dinner I am 99% of the time DD, so he gets wine & I get virgin cocktails (which honestly, I prefer more than alcoholic ones, and I hate wine/beer…so yeah). : D In your situation, though, I think it’s perfectly fine for you to ask him to cut down — especially when you’re out to dinner together!
Post # 16
My honey quit drinking in solidarity with me. I thought it was so sweet and encouraged him to do whatever he wanted, but he figured that if I was making that sacrifice, then he wanted to as well. It ended up working out really well, because now we drink so much less than we used to!