Post # 1
What happened when he found out he was having a girl?
Before getting pregnant DH really wanted a daughter first, I have always leaned a little more to wanting a son for our first child. Well now that I’m pregnant all DH can talk about is his son (we don’t know what we are having yet) and every time I bring up the possibility of him having a daughter he just brushes it off. DH and I both met playing baseball/softball, this has always been our sport. So DH is constantly talking about what position his son will play and whether he will want to coach him and when I asked him what about his daughter his respone was like “well she’ll probabaly be into theatre or something like that”. I am a jock, he is a jock, why does he think the possibility of his daughter playing sports is so unheard of and it’s like he’s already decided they will have nothing in common. I am beyond emotional right now so it makes things seem worse, but what happens when we find out he’s having a girl? Will he change his view and be part of her life? His dad isn’t the best role model and really only followed the activities the boys did and not the girls. And the girls were only allowed to do dancing. DH has never once acted like his father and all of a sudden that is all I see.
Post # 3
I can absolutely guarantee that he will be THRILLED if you find out it’s a girl. I don’t think the way he’s acting is all that uncommon (at least in my circle of friends) and every.single.time the ultrasound or birth shows that it’s a girl not the boy they “wanted,” you see the guy just melt. And all of his excitement about tee ball and “boy stuff” becomes this scared/thrilled excitement for having a girl.
My FI always says he wants a boy first, but then when I say I sort of want a girl first, and what would he do if that happened, he gets this goofy grin.
I wouldn’t let it worry you, promise he’ll be as happy as can be with either boy or girl!
Post # 4
DH and I are both pretty convinced we are having only boys (not even TTC yet!) based on some old wives tales and the like, and he definitely does want boys. But, he’s already basically said whether we have boys or girls, he is going to teach them golf and all the other sports he is into, and I pointed out it’s probably a little easier for a girl to get a golf scholarship to college (we aim high, obviously).
I’m sure once you find out either way, he will change his tune. And you both being sporty is a pretty good indication that your kid will be sporty, boy or girl. It does seem like every guy I know wants boys though. I always thought I’d be better off having a girl first, since I’m pretty likely to baby the first one extra, and no one wants a real mama’s boy, you know? I’m just glad we can’t actually pick 🙂
Post # 5
We both want two girls. This is our first month of TTC, so maybe once we do get pregnant he will change his mind. As much as I do want at least one girl, all I really want is a healthy baby. I just have this picture of DH playing tea party at a little table with a little girl with her hair in pigtails 🙂
Post # 6
I’m sorry that he changed his tune. It always makes me cringe when parents-to-be talk about what their children will do or what they will be like. I sure as hell didn’t turn out the way my parents imagined it in their day dreams. I see it with the new parents at work. How do they know their boy will like the sport they love or that their daughter will be into dance? They have known the child for a few months. It is its own person, not a personification of their dream and ideals.
I’m sorry, this is not what you are asking, but I think your husband will eventually get used to the idea that this child will not always live up to his expectations, whether it’s a boy or a girl.
If it’s any help, I was supposed to be a boy and my dad is nuts about me, even though I’m not an architect who plays the piano with virtuosity and is super athletic.
Post # 7
Thank you for your stories. I know I am very emotional right now and everything seems so much more intense.
I did call DH and tell him how I’m feeling after I typed this post, I don’t hold much back lol. He apologized that it came off that way and said he will be really excited no matter what he has and he doesn’t care if his daughter is a sports player or dancer, he will be at every event she has and will be her biggest supporter. He said that I just put the idea in his head of a boy so that’s what he’s been picturing lately but will love this baby no matter what it is.
And I will be happy no matter what we have, but I appear on the outside to be rather girly but am really not. My best friend is hairdresser, makeup artists, and also takes on the job as my personal shopper. I feel like I wouldn’t even know where to start if I had a girl, but I’m sure I would figure it out 🙂
Post # 8
DH didn’t really care either way, we both just want a healthy baby. (In fact, I think he was actually slightly leaning towards girl because we can actually agree on girl names.) We’re having a boy, we’re both very happy.
Post # 9
You both also need to be open to the possibility that either a boy or a girl may not be interested in sports! Or you might have a girl who is super into sports and a boy who does not want to do them at all.
Post # 10
@eeniebeans- Of course! I don’t care what activities my kids are interested in. We grew up trying every activity possible and we got to chose our own. My parents just wanted us to pick one thing per season. I was more hurt that he was acting more exciting and interested in the fact that he could be having a son than a daughter.
Post # 11
My husband actually wanted a girl really badly. When we went to find out and I thought maybe it was a boy at first, he said he got kind of nervous. He would have been thrilled either way but he said he had this image in his mind of having a little girl. He would love it if she loved sports (same if it was a boy) but we both decided to let our children try out different things and make their decision themselves because he realizes that there is a possibility they won’t like sports.
We’re having a girl by the way and he is super happy. I think I built it up too though by telling him I thought it was a girl.
Edit: I will add that I was worried at first that it was going to be a boy because he wanted a girl so badly. I can’t say how it went because we’re having a girl. But his brother wanted a girl just as badly and got a boy and he was still super happy about it.
Post # 12
DH and I really wanted a girl. We got a surprise peen on our ultrasound last Thursday. It’s a bit of an adjustment for us right now. If anything, the name thing is what we’re struggling with most. It’s a lot harder to name a boy than an girl. We’re excited that our baby boy is growing and measuring well.
Post # 13
So glad to hear about all of these happy healthy pregnancies, whether or not it’s a boy or girl
Post # 14
DH was desperate for a girl although I think a boy probably would have made him really happy too. We are having a girl and he is over the moon about it. I think men just melt over their little girls so I’m sure your husband will be fine.
Post # 15
My husband didn’t really care too much our first pregnancy, though his father expressed that we’d “Better get started on a boy” when we told him. Ahem.
I know this time he was hoping for a boy. He had a little moment when we found out it’s another girl (I wanted 2 girls, didn’t really have an interest in boys), but he’s fine now. He’s even said “I think it will be better for her to have a sister anyway” 🙂
Glad he got over it, because he determines gender, not me!
Post # 16
My husband DESPARATELY wants all boys* (not KU yet) – to the point where we practices Shettles the first 6 months we were TTC. At this point, though, after 12 long months of TTC and the discovery of a serious medical issue, we will both just be happy to get KU with a baby that has ten fingers and ten toes. :o)
FWIW, my husband’s desire for boys isn’t based in sports – we both have high-drama, high-maintenance sisters and he is absolutely terrified of girls.