Post # 1
SO and I haven’t even talked about marriage yet as a possibility (after FIVE years but that’s an issue in itself) and the other day his mother makes some snarky comment about why do I post so many wedding things on this thing called pinterest if I’m not getting married? (she was seeing them pop up on FB, so glad I didn’t connect this website to my Facebook LOL) then after I left started quizzing him on what we’ve discussed as far as getting married, which is nothing, but I feel like at this point what business is it of yours?! If we wanted you to know something we would have told you! It doesn’t help she ended that with “thank god.” How many of you ladies actually get along with you SO’s mother and was she against any idea of you getting married? Getting him to discuss it already seemed impossible but now that mommy dearest has given her input I probably have ZERO chance…… And normally we get along fine!
Post # 3
Is there a way to disconnect your FB and pinterest, or at least block her so she can’t see your pins?
Perhaps shes thinks you are jumping the gun and posting too early, not giving her son a chance yo surprise you. I would try to concentrate on this feeling rather than assuming she is a nosy b*!
Post # 4
the solution is to immediately start pinning and and all things baby themed, just to make her panic.
Post # 5
@the_future_mrs: I agree.
But no, my SO’s Mom was more surprised than anything. In a good way.
Post # 6
My SO doesn’t want to tell his parents that we are getting engaged before spring because he thinks they’ll try to talk him out of it and he doesn’t want to hear it. In fact his dad would probably be totally fine with it, he likes me as does his side of the familly. However, his mom kinda likes me as a person, but doesn’t want him to marry me because I am not christian enough. She and her mother have spent the last 6 years periodically trying to get him to break up with me. They are very religious, but what they seem to totally miss is that my SO is not very religious and prefers to worship on his own outside the church. Neither of their husbands are very religous and we feel like they are trying to correct their own life ‘mistakes’ by living through my SO.
Post # 7
@Missafraidtohope: Nooooo you don’t have ZERO chance!! If he loves you and wants to marry you, her input shouldn’t matter. If her input changes his mind, well she did you a favor if anything, because he is not the guy for you.
I can’t say I don’t get along with my FMIL, but at the same time I can’t say I do. IDK my woman’s intuition tells me she is not very fond of me. I’ve only tried to talk to her once about the wedding plans and she really didn’t say much. Kind of gave me some awkward looks and short answers lol! Yup that’s what I have to work with :/
Post # 8
Thankfully my SOs mom loves me. Like we go to get our nails done together and hang out and such. BUT my exs mom was a wack job. Like she saw a hickey on his neck once and she pushed me behind a door and held me there and was screaming at me about the hickey. We were 19 years old and she didn’t want to believe that her precious baby boy was having sex.
Post # 9
Perhaps she thinks you’re both too young to be thinking about this in the first place.
When I was 21, I was engaged, and my then-FI’s mother didn’t like me at all. We went from being cordial at times, to downright detesting each other at other times. It wasn’t fun in the least.
There are people, and this may not be a popular sentiment on this board, who think it’s strange to be obsessing over wedding plans and ideas when you’re not even engaged yet. (I’ve seen too many people in love with the idea of weddings, feeling like a princess, etc etc and so focused on that aspect that the first guy who came along and offered it to them, even if they’d only been dating for a short time, they jumped at it. IT didn’t work out well for any of them) Perhaps she is one of those people. And perhaps she is concerned that all your weding pins will serve to pressure her son into doing something before he’s ready, or probably more to the point, before she thinks he’s ready. Her “thank god” comment may be more a product of thinking you are both too young, as opposed to not liking you specifically.
Post # 10
My FI’s mom was so surprised when we got engaged it was hilarious, we had been together four years and she knew we had discussed marriage. That being said, she also feels very strongly that if you are not engaged, you shouldn’t plan a wedding. She makes fun of her favorite niece all the time for pinning wedding stuff even though she isn’t engaged. I obviously don’t agree, but your SO’s mother could just have that viewpoint on things.
Post # 11
My husband’s parents both deeply dislike me. They’ve made snarky comments about me from the very start and when DH told them that we were going to be getting engaged in the near future (now over two years ago) his dad asked if he wasn’t perhaps being a bit too hasty because “Do you really want to marry her?”
It made not a blind bit of difference. If he wants to marry you, he will. If he gives in to his mum on this one, do you really want to marry him???
Post # 12
The thing is….. I’m not even planning a wedding! We had “couples photos” done by a friend just getting into the photography business for our 5 year anniversary last week and I was pinning photos purely for the poses and SOME happened to show couples in wedding attire and apparently that’s cause to freak out! Lol but she DID get married young which led to an awful divorce (partly why marriage is such a touchy subject for SO, I really don’t feel a 10 year old should have been told all the dirty details of a divorce but what do I know) so you’re probably on to something there! I’m not even trying to push him into anything I just wish we could talk about future plans without all the anxiety caused by his parents poor choices. My parents are still happily together and that’s not something he grew up around, I knew nothing of divorce my entire childhood so we’ve worked out way through a lot of things but at 5 years together, planning a life together seems SOOOO far away and I’m starting to resent his parents for it =/ although I know they aren’t fully to blame but it’s just hard. I think about it constantly so maybe I was a little too overly sensative to what she said…. At 23 we are too young to get married NOW I just wish I could consider it as a likely possibility ONE DAY and I stumbled across this website and just loved the way you all support one another even with things not wedding related! I probably don’t belong on this site but thank you so much for all your feedback!!!!
Post # 13
@lovin_iswhatigot: I definitely know how you feel with the awkward looks and short answers hahah
Post # 14
@the_future_mrs: I like the way you think LOL
Post # 15
My husband ‘s mom and I was okay all th way up to her moving to GA and the planning started and she started feeling left out… And shit got real! We got into it over a damn ass misunderstanding about a cake ‘We’ were paying for.. She told me I was a telling her lie’s because I told her I wanted to change something about the cake and to see if it was going to be more money on top of what we already paid… And she for whatever reason didn’t understand any of that! Lord…. But later I found out, she was feeling left out and unneeded and so on… We got over it and huged it out. We are working on us now.. She wasn’t trying to stop anything but she felt really felt out because of space
Post # 16
@the_future_mrs: +1 LMAO!!!! I would totally do that!