My husband’s sister was a complete bitch when she found out about our engagement. In all fairness, her husband had finished treatment for an illness about 6 months before we were engaged. We got engaged in June and decided on a March wedding – 9 months, which we immediately informed our families about. While I’d been lukewarm about my sister-in-law to this point, she sealed the deal when she posted, “Hope you get married late in the year so we can come,” with no explanation as to why they wouldn’t be able to come sooner.
Keep in mind they live several hours away, and they’re the only close relatives on either side of the family who live far away. So I was polite, just said to her, “We’re planning on a late March wedding.” I wasn’t going to cave to her and go, “Oh yes, late in the year, for sure!” I was cordial but honest. Her response?
“Well let us know the date for this wonderful event. That is, if we’re even invited. Haha.”
I never wanted to punch a bitch in the face so badly before in my life. Instead, I added her to my “Restricted” list on Facebook and made the decision from then on that if she had something to say, she could say it through her brother. When they visit now, I’m cordial but distant. I don’t have time for someone who’s so self-absorbed.
It turns out she was upset because she felt her baby was ‘too young’ (4 months. I chose March instead of sooner because it gave her time to recover post-delivery). I told my husband that she’s planning on having between 2 and 4 kids – I am NOT going to wait until she’s done popping them all out and they’re grown before I get married. That’s just the price of business, unfortunately, when you move far away from the rest of the family.
When my husband tried to call her and say that we could be flexible with the date a little – but that we needed to know WHEN they could come because our venue was running out of dates- she just said, “Whatever, it’s your wedding.” No. You don’t get the right to have an online temper tantrum, then go, “WHATEVER,” when people are doing their best to accommodate YOU. Then, of course, she spent 3 or 4 days getting back to us.
I’ve just learned that she’s a self-absorbed, childish little princess who’s accustomed to the rest of the family promptly caving to her. I’m disgusted with how her parents and grandparents treat her. This woman is almost 30 – time to grow up.
Oh, and my friend. I had an entire other thread devoted to how wonderfully things went with that. In all honesty, I always knew he was a crappy friend, but we’d known each other so long that it was like a bad addiction. I loved him like a brother and overlooked how self-absorbed, jealous and critical of others he was. I feel like the wedding just brought issues that were already there to the forefront.
We hired his boyfriend to be our officiant (I was clear on this: we needed him to get ordained through the Universal Life Church, which takes about 2 minutes). We paid him $200 to do this. We had a 5-minute reading we wanted (and told him in advance that’s what we wanted). Immediately, he was telling us what we needed to do, telling us our ceremony needed to be longer, then tore into the vows we selected (even telling me that he “thought I was a writer” – i.e., he thought they were awful). His behavior and his pushiness made me very angry. This was 8 weeks out from our wedding.
The boyfriend had been drinking when he said some of those things, so the next day I approached him about it and he just doubled down on it, telling me he was going to make our ceremony “solemn” and “professional” before telling me he was going to make changes to it and he’d let me see them soon. I went “AW HELL NO.”
What was most hurtful was that my “friend” pretended he had no idea what I was upset about when I politely fired the boyfriend. This is the same guy who threw so many bitch fits over the years if my husband said *anything* less-than-kind.
Now, there were times my husband was out of line and I talked to both of them about it afterward. There were other times my friend was being ridiculous sensitive. You had to agree with him all the time. Crap, I remember going out with him once and he was visibly shaking because he had gotten a scientific fact wrong, and rather than correcting him (knowing how he is), I just sat silently. As the guy’s pulsing with poorly contained rage, he says to me, “It’s okay, you can disagree with me. I’ve worked on this.” O.O
They came to the wedding…kept the $200 (despite doing nothing but causing us trouble)…didn’t even bring a card. We haven’t spoken since the wedding. My “friend” texted me 2 days after the wedding to tell me how much FUN he had before asking me for one of my relative’s phone numbers (perhaps looking for his next friend?). I couldn’t believe the selfishness.
But you know what? Thank God. I have not regretted having him out of my life once since this whole ordeal began nearly 6 months ago.