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Did you/Will you have a Rehearsal/ Rehearsal Dinner?

posted 1 year ago in Parties
  • 2 Members Subscribed To Topic
  • poll: Will you have a rehearsal and Rehearsal Dinner?
    Yes, we need one due to _____(explain) : (23 votes)
    27 %
    Yes, but because it seems right to have one --(explain) : (48 votes)
    56 %
    No Rehearsal, but we will have the Dinner --(explain) : (3 votes)
    4 %
    No Dinner but we will have the Rehearsal--(you guessed it, explain) : (6 votes)
    7 %
    Neither! : (5 votes)
    6 %
  •  
    1.
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    Buzzing bee
    Belle2Be      

    I'm curious how many people still have these and what the reason for you personally having one :D

    ( I think I covered all the options)

     
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    AmeliaBedelia    March 3, 2012   Georgia

    Well, mostly just because my family is insane and will need to actually rehearse to get it right. ;) Both of my brothers, my sister, and his brother are all in the wedding and...well...we think they'll do better with a rehearsal than cold turkey. (My sister will be 7).

    And both FI and I are kind of control-freak-y and would want to make sure everyone knew what to do/where to be.

    As far as the dinner...we are one of those "when you're together you eat" families, so whether it's an ACTUAL rehearsal dinner or just "hey we did the rehearsal, let's eat" is not yet determined. :) We have a while.

     
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    Ms. Purple    May 22, 2010   Toronto, Ontario

    We did have a rehearsal dinner.  Our night consisted of giving out the timeline for the day, we went through the ceremony order and when readers would be asked to read, etc.  basically we just went through the day on paper, so everyone knew where they were suppose to be and what they were suppose to do.  if anyone had any questions we answered them right there.

    after that we just ate and drank and gave out presents :-)

     
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    lisa105    October 24, 2010  

    @Belle2Be:  We had one for a couple of reasons...the first and foremost being that our entire wedding party (except his Dad and Step Mother) were from out of town and two, I suppose because its tradition. 

     
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    angela2011bride    March 19, 2011  

    My bro and sis in law didn't, and day of we were chix with cut heads.  :( So, just to ease the nerves of this crazy bride, I'm doing it.  Plus, if gives us a chance to party with our closest group of friends/family.  And, our rehearsal is on St. Patty's Day, so dinner/drinks will be that much better!

     
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    Honey bee
    yrret107    November 28, 2009   Seattle, WA; Married in West Chester, PA

    I think you need an other option.

    I had a rehearsal but I had a rehearsal lunch before.  I didn't have the budget to pay for another dinner so I had lunch but still wanted to thank everyone.  The price was cut in half because I had a lunch over a dinner. Plus, I didn't want to be out late the night before my wedding. I was able to relax and/or get some last minute things done. hehe.

     
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    ItalianLady    September 4, 2010  

    Yup - Hubby and I paid and we had it at a Chinese Buffet since a formal dinner reception was booked in the privarte room of a gorg resto the following night.

    Funny aside: My fiance at the time said "we even have to reherse how we eat??" I had to explain it to him. So cute.

     
    8.
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    Buzzing bee
    Belle2Be      

    @lisa105: I think we're having a dinner but not a rehearsal for the same reason. We're having a DW, so treating everyone to dinner the night before seems right, but it's small so theres not a whole lot to rehearse :D

     
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    Miss Tattoo    September 15, 2012   Pittsburgh, PA

    We are having a rehersal dinner, but it's not going to be anything special. We will probably go to Olive Garden or maybe Dave and Busters. You are about to spend thousands on food the next day. No need to spend thousands more on the day before. We'll probably see it as a chance to get the families together and give bridal party gifts after the rehearsal at the park.

    We need to have the rehearsal at the ceremony/reception site since it's outdoors and everyone will need to know where to walk and stand.

     
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    AmeliaBedelia    March 3, 2012   Georgia

    @ItalianLady:Lol that's adorable. :)

     
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    angela2011bride    March 19, 2011  

    @Miss Tattoo: That's how we felt.  Ours is at Chevy's and really just a chance to hang out and relax.  Dave and Buster's was a top contender for us too.  It'd be a blast with a large group! :)

     
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    bonsai_spork    October 1, 2011   Wisconsin

    We're going to have a lot of friends and family in from out of town, so its just going to be a backyard BBQ sort of situation where everyone can meet and talk and get to know eachother before the wedding.

     
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    totheislnds    February 12, 2011   NC

    we are, mostly because its tradition, plus time for family to get together prior to the chaos of the big day. im really looking forward to our rehearsal and rehearsal dinner.

     
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    UpstateCait    October 7, 2011   Upstate, NY

    I voted “Yes, because it seems right to have one” but I don’t really believe that. The only reason we’re having a RD is because my FIL’s are throwing it and are VERY excited about it. If they wouldn’t have offered, I wouldn’t have cared. We’re having our RD at our favorite Mexican restaurant, so I am pretty stoked about it.

    Both of our families know eachother well so it’s not like anyone needs to meet for the first time. Our entire BP is local to our wedding venue too, so we’re not obligated to entertain them the night before. We’re just going to use this as an opportunity to thank everyone for being awesome, eat some delicious food, get free shots of tequila (yep, as much as you want!) and try to relax a little before the wedding (the tequila will help with this).

    I certainly don’t think RD’s are necessary.

     
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    bohemianbailie    January 15, 2011   Huntington Beach, California

    We are doing the rehearsal because our ceremony will be in two languages so people will know when to do what and because it is in the Church of Sweden so their ceremony is a little different from a more traditional American one and I am still unsure of some things!

    We are doing the dinner after, taco truck, because we are having alot of OOT guests and wanted to spend more time with them.

     
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    caszos    June 2010   Florida

    We did a very casual R/RD.  We had a large WP (6 on each side) and most had never been to teh church and were just arriving that day (Friday).  So the actual rehearsal was great for them to get to meet the pastor, see the church, etc. 

    Our actual dinner was a fun way to say thanks.  It was held at our nieghborhood clubhouse and we catered BBQ.  I think everyone was happy it wasn't stuffy.  Also not having it at a restuarant was great because people got their plates, got up and down, went for seconds, etc. We had about 30 people for dinner. 

    After dinner we invited our OOT guests for drinks and dessert.  We had about 15-20 show up it was nice to get to spend some time with OOT family that I really didn't get to spend much time with at the actual wedding. 

     
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    cj_one2000    January 1, 2011   Anchorage, AK

    We are having one at a lodge with gourmet pizza from a local pizza place. We decided to expand it to include relatives and out of town guests that are attending the wedding. This just gives us more time to spend with everyone. Yes, it's a bigger group to feed (45 people) but since my fiance and I are moving to Germany, it's our chance to see everyone other than the wedding day.

     
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    bebefly    October 22, 2011   Ottawa

    We have to set up the venue ourselves the night before, so I'm thinking we'll do a quick rehearsal with our attendants, just to get the timing down, and then start setting up. If they want to join us for dinner out afterwards they are more than welcome to, but it's not necessary and we definitely can't "host" anything, unfortunately.

     
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    Lindsay12.31.2010    December 31, 2010   Missouri

    We definitely needed to have a rehearsal - a lot of our wedding party is from out of town, so doing the actual rehearsal was necessary.  FI's parents offered to host the rehearsal dinner, so we accepted.  It is definitely not anything fancy, being held in the private room of a local Greek restaurant.

     
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    mcnetn3    August 13, 2011   North Carolina

    Rehearsal to make sure we know that will be going on the day of and the dinner afterwards because it's nice to have the groom's family host an event for the wedding party and it's nice to treat your wedding party to the meal and have a stress free dinner for the bride and groom the night before.

     
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    Honey bee
    JamaicaBride    May 14, 2011   Charlotte, NC

    We need to have one b/c everybody will be coming from out of town and I don't want complete chaos on the day of. We will just have a family BBQ afterwards since we are having a backyard wedding/tent reception.

     
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    trugem    January 2011  

    We are having one to make sure everything runs smooth. We will have the dinner right after. We will eat gumbo.

     
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    gabrielleelise1981    August 28, 2010   Portland, Maine

    We had a RD mostly because 90%+ of our guests were from OOT and the RD gave everyone a chance to meet everyone else and relax a bit.

    We had it in a private rented home on the island we got married out on, and my husband and I paid for it (we also paid for our wedding). We served a traditional Maine lobster bake, steaks/chicken/burgers, pasta and green salads, beer/wine/lemonade and I also made tamales (my husband’s mom’s family is Mexican-American). My mom made desserts.

    There were about 30 people there, and it was really fun! At first I had wanted to have it at our favorite restaurant, but that would have been too expensive, and our wedding was formal, so it was nice to welcome everyone to the wedding weekend with something more casual and laid back.

     
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    MadameLady    May 18, 2012  

    We dont really NEED one because we'll be having a very small (20 people) destination wedding and no one besides me and the groom really need to be prepared for anything :) We'll still have a nice small welcome even though and go over the gist of things with our officiant

     
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    soonerpsych    June 26, 2010   Oklahoman at heart, now in Southwest FL

    We needed the rehearsal for sure to practice a run through, make sure everyone knew where to stand, the timing, etc.  None of our wedding party had ever been to the church before, nor had they met our pianist so it helped work out any kinks the day before. 

    We all would have gotten together to eat one way or the other since several family members were OOT so a RD made a lot of sense.  We reserved the banquet room of a local BBQ place and had a small buffet.

     
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    Mrs Grape    December 10, 2010  

    You should add a "no rehearsal, no dinner" option. We're getting married at the courthouse so there's just no need for it.

     
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    TinyTina    June 2012   Albany, NY

    We NEED to have a rehearsal because our WP (total of 10 people) are all from out of town and we need to do a walkthrough of the ceremony so everyone (including me and FI!) know what to do when.

    The dinner is to thank them all for coming out a day early since they're all OOT.

    So yea, it's tradition, but it's a totally necessary tradition in our case!

     
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    luckyprincess       New Jersey

    Wow - it's finally my turn to say 'because its tradition in my family/ies!'  lol.  I'm always bucking traditions that don't have a real solid meaning behind it but yes, we would do a rehearsal and a dinner afterwards.

    It's just expected in our families, I guess.  When I got married the first time I had one, too.  I am super OCD about stuff and need to know what happens exactly and when, so rehearsal is great so I know what to expect.  It will make me so much more calm plus I won't have everyone saying 'what do i do?' 'where do i go?' and stuff.  And the dinner afterwards is a thank you to the bridal party and their spouses/so's (since the bridal party has their life interrupted when doing 'wedding' stuff) and its when our families/friends typically give the bridesmaid/moh and groomsmen gifts and give a speech thanking everyone.

     
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    JCar    April 2, 2011   Ohio

    We need to since my dad is in a wheelchair and we're getting married in FI's parents' church (which my family has never been to).  Plus part of our bridal party is coming in from out of town.  Plus the dinner afterwards to have time to talk to our out of town guests (bridal party members), give gifts and timeline, and make sure what everyone's schedule is for the next day.

     
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    Future Mrs. Martin    August 21, 2010   London Ontario Canada

    We had a rehearsal dinner. 

    We did do a short rehearsal because we were planning on having a park ceremony and the aisle was really long and kind of confusing. However, it didn't matter seen as it poured and we had to use our rain plan location where we didn't rehearse and everything went seamlessly.

    The dinner was nice, it was a backyard BBQ at our house. It was a great opportunity to thank our family and wedding party in an intimate setting.

     
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    Mrs Sarah McK    October 10, 2010   Harrisburg, PA

    We had a rehearsal for a couple of reasons. None of my bridesmaid's had ever been in a wedding (nor had I) so we all thought we would benefit from a quick run-through. Me especially, because I was very nervous about it all, and wanted to have at least some practice beforehand. And since our ceremony was a collaborative effort between us and the minister (it was his basic ceremony, we tailored it to us, a snip here, an add there, readings, etc), he wanted the chance to run through it with us. That said, I think we would have been okay if we hadn't had the rehearsal. It may have even given our wedding a more organic feel...but I don't regret doing it. 

    We also had a rehearsal dinner, but it was very casual. My MIL had made up about half a dozen types of quiches, and two different soups, and bowls of salad and bread and such, and we had it at her house. All of my family lives across the country, and it was one of the first real opportunities our families had to meet each other. My MIL is also the consummate hostess, and didn't want anyone from out of town to have to spend money eating out. 

     
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    His Barista    September 4, 2010   Spokane, WA

    We did both. My sister skipped the rehearsal for her wedding and all the music cues and entrances were wrong. haha. I was a little worried.

     
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    faye0314    September 25, 2010   Florida

    We had to rehearse so everyone knew what to do on wedding day.  There were a lot of people to coordinate.  The dinner probably wasn't necessary, but we had a lot of out of town family so it was great to spend some extra time with them.  It was also a nice start to the festivities and it was wonderful to have time to relax and have a stiff cocktail after all the stress of getting things set up a the venue, last minute appointments, etc.  Thankfully my in-laws planned the whole thing- it turned out more like a wedding complete with cocktail hour, plated dinner, an acoustic guitar player /singer, slideshow, centerpieces, etc.  In a ballroom.  If I had done the planning it would have been something much simpler like a local restaurant or barbecue in a park, but it was still nice.

     
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    Knubbsy-Wubbsy    July 30, 2011   Central Texas

    The wedding party is infested with people from musical ensembles and theatre so I think everyone would panic without a reherseal (as would I).

    I think my biggest concern with the reherseal is seeing how long it takes the grandparents to go down the aisle (to determine if we need two songs or one, really hoping for one).

     
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    s_h_e_l_b_s    May 8, 2010  

    My IL's just said they were going to have one and we said "okay". I probably would have just said lets all go out to dinner after because it was supper time after rehearsal. I definitely think they are a good idea for the bridal party and family to just relax the night before the big day!

     
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    meliss    May 31, 2010   Los Angeles, CA

    We didn't have a rehearsal dinner. This is not something that's even heard of in my culture, and we didn't have a bridal party (just MOH and BM) so we didn't see the need for it. We did have a brief rehearsal since nobody that was going to walk down the aisle including myself really knew what to do. We politely asked the officiant and the DOC if they would join me and my family for dinner later, and they politely declined. After the rehearsal I went to a regular dinner with my relatives in town, my husband went out with his friends for a mini bachelor party which consisted of getting drunk in someone's hotel room.

     
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    finnaroo    August 7, 2010   DC (living in nyc now)

    we had a rehearsal dinner for all bridal party, immediate family, AND out of towners. so basically, half the wedding guests! we were in the "it's the right thing to do" camp since it's the cultural expectation of our families. i definitely don't think it's something everyone HAS to do, and i don't expect other couples whose out of town weddings we go to to invite us. BUT in our case it was expected, and my in-laws, who were hosting, wanted to and had the means to. my cousin actually got married a month  before me and didn't invite all out of towners to the rd, and some of our older relatives were really really offended--it's just totally expected in the older generation of my family. i thought about doing an intimate dinner with just bridal party and immediate fam, and then a dessert or cocktail reception with all out of towners (which my brother did and which was acceptable to the older relatives), but the in-laws wanted to feed everyone. i really loved our rd though--it was really nice to get more of a chance to see and talk to people who had come from far away, and it lessened the pressure of having to get around to everyone at the actual wedding since i had already been able to speak with a lot of people.

     
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    HisIrishPrincess    March 23, 2012  

    We will need to have the rehearsal ... i'm having three of my nieces as flower girls, and His side isn't catholic, so it will be good to do the rundown.  I seriously look at the rehearsal dinner as a couple of hours to relax and spend some time with my family before the huge day.   

     

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