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For those of you who are pregnant/have babies, or are TTC, are you trying to "plan" your pregnancy? I know it's not an exact science, obviously, but are you hoping to get pregnant at a specific time, and trying to avoid getting pregnant during other times, due to what would be going on when you give birth?
I ask because DH and I have discussed TTC at the end of this year, and there's a perfect window of March-April 2012 when it would be perfect to get pregnant--we have two weddings in April/May 2012, and another one in October 2012, and I would rather be pregnant for all of them than be post-partum for the last one. I am also hopefully starting a new job this spring, and would like to be there for at least a year before becoming pregnant. When I told DH this, he thought it was so silly that I was thinking about planning our potential pregancy around other events (especially other peoples' weddings). I can see what he means, for sure--there's always going to be something that comes up, and besides, who knows how long it will take us to get pregnant anyway?
But I was just wondering if anyone else had tried to do this? And how successful you were :)
In a perfect world, I'd like to avoid giving birth between October and February. I have a history of anxiety and depression that gets worse seasonally, so I'd like to avoid trying to manage a brand new baby during that time while feeling trapped in the house during the winter. So we will probably start trying during summer or fall to have a spring or summer baby. But, if things don't happen as quickly as we'd like, I don't think we will stop trying, ultimately we will be happy to welcome a baby whenever it arrives.
We decided to start TTC right after we bought a house and DH had been in his new job for about 6 months... we didn't have goals necessarily like "well, we'd like to have a baby in May" or anything, but if we had, those would have gone out the window when it took us 6 months to conceive the first time. 3 months to conceive the second time.
We've been TTC since March 2010 (still not pregnant), but we took a 3-month hiatus so that I would definitely be able to attend my brother's wedding in April 2011. That's the only event we've planned around and that's only because it's my brother and I wouldn't want to miss his wedding because I was just a few weeks post-partum or 8-9 months pregnant and couldn't travel.
I plan every other facet of my life, why not this? :) I do think that I'll at least give it some consideration, although I don't know I"ll be trying so hard for a 2 month window, considering that I don't anticipate hardcore "TTC". I think for probably at least a year we would just stop using BC and do what comes naturally and see what happens... so it would probably take longer than people who are scientific about it. But I guess I might think ahead and maybe go back on bc for 1-2 months if i wanted a "blackout period" for birth lol.
With our next baby, I would prefer to give birth in the fall to winter. My husband works ridiculous hours in the summer, and he wasn't able to be around much the first few months of Addie's life, so I'd like to plan a little differently.
The best laid plans were made to be broken in our case. We had an elaborate plan that was shattered by the immediateness of our ability to conceive.
Yes and No. Ideally we want to be married for a year but we aren't actively not trying to have a child if that makes sense.
I dont want a christmas baby, (i feel like they get cheated)
that's about the only timing issue I have
@CorgiTales: Haha I'm totally the same way--over planner, type A, etc. I also don't think we'll be "hardcore TTC", like charting and all that--I'm just hoping that we don't have to get to that point and it just happens when we want it to :) But as @stephbolt: mentioned, bottom line we'll be happy to have a healthy baby whenever he/she comes.
@superk: Yup that sort of hiatus definitely makes sense. That's my concern--I feel like attending a wedding at just a few weeks after giving birth would be so uncomfortable.
@Mrs. Spring: That also makes a lot of sense; if DH had more seasonal hours I would for sure take that into consideration.
I think you might as well give it a shot, right? Knowing that it might not always work out as planned.
We got damn lucky that I got pregnant when I did because I'm due at the beginning of summer when my husband will be out of school (he's a teacher). I never really thought about it when we were TTC but in the future I'd make an effort to have similar timing with any more children.
@panterapeach: Hah I have similar ones--don't want a major holiday baby (Christmas, Thanksgiving, New Year's), and I don't want a baby born in November (my niece and nephew's bdays are then--weird I know). We'll see how picky I am when it comes time to actually TTC!
@Mrs. DG: Yup all my plans assume an immediate pregnancy, which may definitely not be the case, although it's nice to hear that it happened for you (I guess whether or not you were ready for it :) ).
@camrie: I feel like teachers do that a lot--try to plan for summer babies. My mom was a teacher, though, and both my sister and I were born during the school year (Oct and dec). Oh well :)
ideally i would like to avoid november - february births...i don't want any holiday babies! i would also like to avoid being 8 or 9 months pregnant when it's 100+ degrees outside (that seems SO uncomfortable), so that takes out july - september.
i don't know how carefully we'll plan...i expect it will depend whether we conceive quickly or not.
We didn't want our baby to be born during the cold winter months and it looks like we'll get our way. One of our biggest concerns was how to possibly host indoor birthday parties during the winter with our very large families and our not so large house, lol.
We have an elaborate plan that isn't entirely set into motion. I'm assuming by the time we do TTC things will just happen as they may. It would be nice to be able to have things fall into place as planned though.
We originally were going to TTC right after the wedding, but as we both have some education/training to finish we decided against it. Now we're planning to TTC once I have my degree and have worked a couple months in my field. Our hope is to be pregnant by the time FI starts his program in the fall after my degree (which is only 4 months). Once he completes that he'll be able to join a municiple fire department and graduate from indistrial fire fighting. The goal here is to have me at about the 1 year mark of employment before mat leave and FI would be a few months into his new job before the baby came.
Some people think we're crazy, but it works for us. We can't wait to long to have children so hopefully our careful planning works out. I don't see any problem with making plans like this. I think planning a pregnancy around major life events is more responsible if anything.
i think i'm favoring having our first baby in the first half of the year....so like January-June.....I wouldnt mind a summer baby but the idea of being ready to 'pop' during those hot summer months is just unappealing to me.....and I feel September-December is just so jam-packed with events for us (birthdays, holidays, etc) so i'd like to avoid those months.... of course FH doesnt really care to plan at all....lol
Sure I had a plan...get pregnant right away...baby born at end of school year then I get whole summer off.
Unfortunately, it doesn't really work that way. I started in August which was ideal time but I'm on my 5th cycle and no PG yet. Now we're looking at October at the earliest.
I mentioned in another thread (awhile ago) how it seems to be the college grads or at least working professionals in their later 20s early 30s who are the ones trying to plan babies. (I fit into all of these categories.) We've planned the rest of our lives, right? But it just doesn't work that way. It's hard letting go, but I just want it to happen when it happens now.
We were definitely planning- around school breaks, vacation, weather...but then- surprise! Now we're working on a new plan. :)
Either way, I feel in the end it always works out for the best.
We planned our first! Im currently 21 weeks pregnant. I wanted to have a baby before the summer so I could enjoy it! I got pregnant right away, we were lucky. Some people it takes months and years. Good luck!
@Mrs Green Grass: So true--I feel like the rest of my life has been very carefully planned out, from college, to work, to the wedding, etc. It's hard to let go of that need to map everything out, but as you said, not everything goes according to plan.
@Blondiebee: Aw, yay--that would be ideal too, since it's so nice out in thesummer and you can take the baby outside, vs being stuck inside during cold winter months with a newborn.
Yes we have it planned. I mean, after i go off birth control, there is no "let's wait and see" junk, it is full out TRYING. Fertility monitors and all that other stuff. I get 6 months to conceive before i start fertility treatments so i want to avoid that. Also another reason while we're going to start trying early this summer versus later or fall--timing. Ideally i'd like to try to get pregnant early so i'm avoiding the hottest months but it's okay, too. I plan my life. i'm flexible, but I just don't fly by the seat of my pants, either. I'm flexible, but i'm holding out for a good window if it's possible
People space their kids, right? How is planning for your first one any different than planning for your second one based on the age of the first one, right?!
I think I fall into the same category as quite a few bees before me in this thread. I am both an anal retentive planner and both FI and I are at the mercies of our schools, so we have already decided to try to have our future babies in the April-June window.
We did not plan our first baby AT ALL but we love her anyways and I wouldn't change anything. We are definitely going to plan the next one, I am hoping for the next to be born in the spring but it doesn't matter to me a whole lot =)
We had a couple of international trips we were taking that I didn't want to be pregnant for so we decided to wait and in some ways wanted to be able to have her before summer. So we started trying basically during our last trip and got pregnant within a week or two and will have our little May baby. So it worked out for us but we were prepared for it to take longer.
We're not going to plan at all. As Mrs. Cheese says on her blog, we're going to play baby roulette we'll be estatic when we get pregnant but we're hoping to avoid the disappointment of not conceiving exactly when we want to.
We will have difficulities and we're trying to not discouraged when it happens.
We have plans, but they are not plans we feel too strongly about since I know it’s really not up to us!
We are going to start TTC right after my 30th b-day bash in early October (maybe sooner if my husband can convince me lol). I would prefer not to have a baby between late Dec-Feb, since the weather is so cold, and I’d hate to go into labor in the middle of an epic snowstorm! Also, I want to be out and jogging and doing things with baby right after its born, and ice and snow aren’t really ideal for getting the post baby-body back!
It would be perfect to have a baby in early summer to us because my husband is a professor and has most of the summer off, which he could spend with baby, and the weather’s lovely, but who knows how long TTC will take.
This pregnancy was a surprise although we were more NTNT. The baby will be born in August. I hear all the time that its the worst time to be pregnant. However, I think its a great time to have a birthday!
We both work retail management so having a baby between Oct -Dec would not be good. That is the only time we are avoiding. (So right now NOT TTC)
I really want to avoid being in my last trimester during the summer. Texas summers are HOT and miserable and I think I would kill someone if I was 8 months pregnant in the middle of July.
Since I'm not officially TTC yet and I have a 7 months til I do... I am currently planning my life around being pregnant. I will have to juggle work and school. But if we start having trouble TTC, then I will throw my plans out the window and just try to get pregnant anytime and not worry about when the best time will be. In the end, I think whenever it happens, we'll make it work. :)
We have a plan that we hope happens. I want to be done with school so we would love to have one in september-november of next year. I would prefer to avoid any December birthdays because of Christmas. The month I would really love to have one is April, since the nice weather is coming to be able to walk and whatnot, but because of school it is out...and we don't want to wait til the following year because that would mess with our spacing plans for future children and the fact that we want to be done having children by 30 (personal choice). Whether or not the plans work out is another story lol. I agree with what EJS said, people try and space their kids so what is the difference!
We are going to try and plan for as much of the non-timing stuff as possible. I'll be earting right, working out, staying really healthy, etc. To a certain extent we can't control the timing. We'll just start trying when we are financially/emotionally ready and let the rest work itself out. I guess we are timing the pregnancy to an extent in that we would not consider keeping a pregnancy that happened before we are ready.
@blondeeebuckeye: Ugh so true! I'm also a temperature brat--get super cranky when I'm too hot or too cold, so I would also like to avoid an August birth as well.
@crayfish: Oh for sure, if we got pregnant at any point now, we would keep the baby. It's just a matter of me being picky and controlling, I guess :)
i believe i just had a chemical pregnancy, while the pregnancy was not planned, it still makes me very sad to lose it :( i think 27/28 will be a good time to start (i'm 24 now)
We are in the middle of planning a pregnancy right now actually, lol.. If I get pregnant this month I'll be one month short of a year at my new job, so no paid maternity leave for me there... We're hoping for next month or we're going to wait until May because we don't want to give birth at Christmas or be super pregnant at Christmas because we always travel to see our families... Crazy? Maybe, but it works for us!
Not one of our kids was planned for. Our DD was totally unexpected and the result of failed birth control. We were 19 yo when we had her. The minute I found out I was pregnant, we fell in love with her. Although she wasn't planned and came at a less than convenient time, there's no doubt she was desperately wanted once we found out. As are our other 3 children, we didn't plan for them, we hoped for them!
You can plan, just don't be dissappointed if it doesn't happen when you want it to.
Ideally we didn't want to have a baby between November-January, but right now after 6 failed cycles with fertility meds we just want to be pregnant. If we have a holiday baby then so be it.
@hilsy85: last summer i saw a very pregnant woman in the parking lot at the grocery store FLIPPING OUT on some guy who parked in the "mothers to be" parking spot. She was sweaty, obviously miserable, and understably angry (she had to park close to the back of the lot where I parked). At that moment I decided I wanted to try to avoid being that woman 
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