Post # 1
Both my parents and DHs parents have been hinting around asking what certain people gave us as a wedding present. Then my mom just came out and asked, not just certain people, but how much total we got.
I don’t think this is anyone’s business but me and DH. I think its really rude and nosy that she would even ask! She says that since she paid for most of the wedding and I know what she paid, she should be able to know what we got.
Then she said, “well what if cousin so-and-so’s kid gets married, how do I know how much to give?” So I said I’d tell her what they gave us when the time comes. She said “what difference does it make if you tell me now or in 3 years?”
Ugh its so frustrating, I don’t see how paying for the wedding means they are entitled to know how much money was gifted to us.
What would you or have you done?
Post # 3
I told mine. Bu I grew up with a banker and a real estate agent for parents so money is a perfectly acceptable dinner table topic in our house.
Post # 4
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
I told mine. They want to know how much to return in kind by, at least approximately.
Post # 5
I wouldn’t really care. My parents are like best friends to me so I really have nothing to hide.
Post # 6
I’m going to look at it from the view of the guest giving the gift. Personally I wouldn’t like how much I spent/gave being discussed by anyone. When it’s time to give a gift to another family member that should be based on how much you want and can afford to give…it’s not tit for tat or a competition either.
Post # 7
@Westwood: It’s not like we have anything to hide, it just seems so nosy and intrusive that she’d ask and be so persistent.
But apparently I’m getting outvoted, LOL. Still not telling them!
Post # 8
I would. I don’t have any problem sharing my finances with my parents. My fiance’s parents would never ask that kind of thing, though.
Post # 9
Ugh yes.. my mom is omniscient and knows all.
Post # 10
Well, I would tell my parents what kind of physical gift someone gave me. You can guess (or look up) the monetary value of a physical gift, so I don’t really see how this is much different. I am extremely close to my parents, however, and we discuss all of our financial matters, so your situation may be different.
Post # 11
My parents asked, and I told them. I think it was more of a “how much money do we need to make sure we give to so-and-so when they marry?” kind of thing…so it didn’t bother me.
Post # 12
We had no issue sharing specifics with our parents and close family/friends. People are curious, can’t say I blame them. My mom asked for specifics on certain family members (mostly on my side) and my MIL asked for specifics on a few members of her family. I don’t really see this as that big of a deal.
Post # 13
We told both sets of parents how much we got in general. I think they all had a good idea of what everyone in the families gave, because we weren’t the first ones to be married.
Post # 14
DH and I opened all of our cards & gifts with my parents. My mom is the one who wrote down a running list as we opened. I had no problem sharing that with them.
Post # 15
I told her everything about the gifts. I didnt see a problem with them knowing..
Post # 16
My mom is super weird aout money in general, no way would I even discuss it.