Post # 1
When I met with my string trio lady (leader? 1st chair? I’m not sure the correct term), she mentioned that we may want to do a musical interlude of sorts. We are having a completely secular ceremony, offciated by our friend, not in a church (obviously), and we aren’t doing any sort of unity ceremony (no wine box, no tree, no candle, no sand), and aren’t planning on offering our parents/mothers roses or anything.
<br />So basically it would be us just standing up there for about 1:30 while our string trio plays a song. I’ve personally never seen that – everyone always does a unity candle or something (which FI told me “is really dumb because you just blow it out and what does THAT say”). We tossed around the idea of doing a moment of silence for family members who have passed, but ultimately decided that we want it to be happy and joyous, not sad and somber.
So…did you do any sort of musical interlude? Did you just stand there? Was it awkward?
Post # 2
We had music playing in the background during our entire ceremony, but I think it’d be a little weird to have some random song played in the middle of it while nothing else was going on. Obviously if the song had some meaning/relevance it’d be different, but I’ve never seen this done.
Post # 3
Yeah it sounds weird to me. We had a friend play guitar while we signed the register, and we finished a bit early and stood to watch him finish. We stood for maybe 7 seconds or so, not long. But if you’re not doing anything, and you’re just standing there, I think it’s weird and your guests will be wondering what’s going on.
Post # 4
housebee: Okay – that’s what I thought! My musician lady acted like it would be totally normal. I was just thinking maybe it is normal and I’ve just never seen it….
Post # 5
We dealt with the same issue when planning our non-religious, short & sweet ceremony. We are also not doing any unity tradition (candle, sand, etc). We are doing something before the vows to add content to our ceremony instead. And after our vows, we are announced, then a few parting words by the officiate & it’s over. Are you doing a reading or anything before the vows?
I can’t imagine playing 1:30 worth of music during the ceremony while you just stood there being comfortable or not confusing to you or your guests. If it is only to fill in for a candle lighting then just skip it, it’s not at all necessary and certainly no one will miss it.
I agree too about leaving out remarks about deceased family members or those otherwise not present. Weddings are not funerals, they are new beginnings. There are other more appropriate ways to give a shout out to dead relatives at a wedding than to make it such center stage. Sorry for the novel on this, sometimes when I hear other brides (over the top in my opinion) plans for honoring the dead it makes me cringe!