- 5 years ago
- Wedding: August 2012
So me and DH have been together for 7 years and just got married this year. DH has 2 boys from a previous relationship that are 10 and 12. I love the boys very much but I have never had the motherly instinct. I’ve always felt more like an older sister or close aunt to them not so much a mother. Anyway the whole time we have been together I said that I did not want children. The boys are older so why start back at the beginning? DH had the view that he wouldn’t mind having another child but it didn’t matter either way to him. Since he has been creeping closer to 30 (will turn 30 next year, I just turned 26) he was saying that I had until he turned 30 to have one and now recently he has been saying that now he absolutely does not want another child.
I on the other hand starting becoming more open to the idea, not that I have baby fever or am 100% sure that I want them. I am currently on the shot and was looking into getting an IUD when I realized how I would be in my early 30s when it was time to have it removed and that if I did want to have kids that I wouldn’t want to have them that late and the oldest boy would already be in college! I have had 2 friends who had baby boys last year and I adore them and I have been thinking maybe we could do this. Plus I would love to have a girl and his mom would like us to have one too.
We have talked about it and he said that he thought I knew who I married and that he doesn’t want anymore kids. He did say if I happened to get pregnant that he would be on board. I would never purposely get pregnant without his ok.
I don’t know. We are not financially in a position to have a baby right this second. But if we did decide to have a baby it would be at the end of 2013. But I would be nice that in 7 years the boys will both be in college and we could focus on our careers and doing things that we love like travelling.
I guess what my question is or what I need advice on is if anyone else out there felt like they absolutely did not want to have kids did you have them any way? If you didn’t do you regret it? Did you husband change his mind?