Post # 1
Hi…I feel embarrassed to even write this…but did anyone have this issue….
We had a wedding of about 170 people, and maybe about 15 people that came did not get us gifts or cards. Furthermore, two of the groomsmen didn’t get us anything (not cards either) and one of my really close friends (who is not financially strapped) got us something REALLY small…
I know they have a year to get us a gift, so we have about two months left, but I am kind of thinking that if it hasn’t happened yet it probably won’t happen.
I don’t think the groomsmen thing was intentional, but I’m pretty upset and hurt (still!) about this…
Did this happen to anyone else out there (not getting gifts/cards from EVERYONE that came)? If so, did you confront anyone about it? I know I shouldn’t take it personally and let it go but I feel like I should confront those people that I was hurt by to see if there was a reason (like, if I offended them in some way, but then why would they come to the wedding??) I’m not even looking for an actual gift but a $2 card would have been nice….! I know you don’t know me but I never had any enemies, I never even had an extended fight with any of my friends!!!
Post # 3
I really wouldn’t take it personally. My guess it that the guests that came giftless were just clueless. Especially with the groomsmen. Lots of guys just don’t know what they are supposed to do unless they have a mother, sister, girlfriend etc. to tell them "You need to get a gift for the wedding." And I think you are right, at this point they probably won’t get you anything. Easier said than done, but try to let it go and not let it effect your relationships. Hope this helps at all!
Post # 4
I didn’t necessarily expect gives from certain people, but FOR SURE expected something from the in-laws. We financially took care of the wedding ourselves and they are very well off, so I thought maybe we would at least get a check afterwards from them to help us buy a house or even furniture…but we got AN EMPTY CARD! We were both beyond shocked! And the jerks had the nerve to ask us to invite their neighbors to the wedding the week before…my hubby kind of wanted to gave and I put my foot down! After he was like, great call (and I was happy to agree that I was right)!
Post # 5
I wouldn’t be surprised by any men that don’t bring gifts. Guys who aren’t close to their mothers, don’t have any sisters,or don’t have a girlfriend sometimes can be CLUELESS on what is appropriate!! Although I have run into some people who are just plain cheap.
Post # 6
I have to be honest and admit that I waited almost a month after a wedding – of which I was a bridesmaid in- to give a gift to the couple. I didn’t find the time before the wedding and since they live out of town, the first time I saw them was a month later. I almost thinks its best to not expect any gifts from your guests, that way, if and when you do receive gifts, it will be a bonus to your newly wedded bliss
Post # 7
We didn’t get gifts from several surprising guests- including my husband’s aunt, my aunt and uncle (and all of their grown children), and the best man.
The best man was short on funds.
My Aunt is obnixious so it’s in keeping with her personality.
The other people I don’t know what’s up. I hope their gifts weren’t lost or something, but there is no polite way to ask that. I was hoping that when they didn’t get a thank you they would inquire, but so far- nothing.
It happens. It’s kind of hurtful. There’s nothing you can really do other than let it go.
Post # 8
Sorry this happened, but I would honestly look at their previous experience at weddings. Some people are truly gift clueless and maybe they honestly didn’t know. I think that’s a bad excuse for not even including a card of congratulations, but some people are just really that clueless.
If the people are still in contact with you and you’re on good terms with them, I would try not to take it personal. But don’t take this to mean that I think you’re being unreasonable! I would be hurt too.
Post # 9
I’ll be honest and admit this…Ive gone to weddings and given small gifts or as my FI’s date and not brought a gift at all. For the weddings with my FI, I assumed he bought the gift and found out much later that he had not. For weddings where I brought small gifts ($25-$50), I spent a small fortune on the wedding itself…airfare, rooms, shower gifts, bachelorette party, bridesmaid dresses…If I spend nearly $1000 to attend your wedding, dont expect a $300 place setting from me…its a recession!
Dont be offended…it doesnt mean your bridesmaid is upset with you. I might just mean that after hosting your shower, bachelorette party, and buying the dress, shoes, etc, she might be broke. Please don’t bring it up…that would be horribly awkward for both of you.
Post # 10
hate to say it, but there’s nothing that says they have to bring you a gift…
also, some people just aren’t card people…. i hate HATE hate writing cards