Post # 1
I was married before, a measly 5 years ago, so putting this wedding togther has been really strange. I JUST did this. I’m thinking about this as I prepare our announcement list. We’re having a small OOT wedding with only our nearest and dearest in attendance, so everyone else gets announcements. The thing is, I’m not sure if I even want to send most of them to my extended family, etc. Like, I don’t care whether or not they know that I’m getting remarried, and I don’t feel like explaining how FI and I got to this place. I also feel kind of wierd sending announcements to old, dear friends, whose original wedding gift I still cherish; I would hate for them to think that I’m gift-grabbing or something like that. I’m wondering if I should send the announcements to anyone at all. It’s easy on FI’s side; it’s his first marriage. I’m just feeling kind of wierd about the whole thing.
It’s kind of strange that such a simple task would casue me so much stress. Anyone else having invite/announcement issues, or I’m I over-complicating it?
Post # 3
Do what you feel comfortable with. You don’t have to send an announcement to your extended family if you don’t want to–especially if you aren’t all that close to them that they wouldn’t even know how you guys came to be together, in love and wanting to marry. As for your old, dear friends, you could send the announcement. Some people put "no gifts please" at the bottom, but I think most people look at it just as it is—an announcement. You could have fun with it too—telling them you had a small wedding with the family but you wanted to let them know you are married. There are cute things all over the internet on how to announce your wedding and when it happened.
Post # 4
I FEEL the same way! Although my first marriage was 9 years ago. I have the horrible guilty feeling that people will be thinking "but I already attended a wedding for you AND brought you a gift." I wish I was they type of person who just didn’t care what others think. I’m not though..
Post # 5
I felt a little wierd having a big wedding so to say. I am an encore bride and this is FI’s first as well so he wanted a wedding. I secretly did (the first was at the courthouse), but felt like since I was married once I lost my chance. I felt akward thinking of explaining why we weren’t having a church wedding (I’d have to get my 1st anulled even though it wasn’t through the church) and why we were having a tradiitonal wedding even though I’d already been married. We’ve been engaged almost two years and booked a date last April. Since then, I have to say everyone has been nothing but supportive.
I understand how you are feeling, but give people a chance they might surprise you. I think ultimately everyone wants you to be happy. A second marriage is not as bad as 3 or 4. Sometimes, it takes people that long to find "the one" and there is nothing wrong with that, but I think this day in age second marriages are more common, but its 3 or 4 that people frown upon.
Either way, this is an experience to enjoy, so enjoy it. You found the person that you are going to spend the rest of your life with and that is something to be excited about!
Post # 6
The great thing about "been there, done that" is that this time around you get to do exactly what you WANT to do. If you don’t feel comfortable sending announcements then don’t. Do exactly as you please this time around, in the end you know it’s all about you and him. Good luck!
Post # 7
Sending announcements isn’t my style. It comes across a little, "I got married, but you didn’t make the cut." I guess with technology being what it is, someone could easily send an e-mail or update their FB, to say they got married, if they’re looking just to inform people. If something is sent in the mail, formally, it comes across to me like they want something. But I guess that’s just my hang up. I’m sure that’s not a lot of people’s intentions.
Post # 8
I was engaged once before, but the ex-FI left me a week before the wedding. I now feel weird about sending out invites and telling people I am engaged…again. And I’m only 20. *sigh*
Post # 9
I feel ya – I was married for about 8 years – and that was over about 3 years ago (though we were seperated for 2 before that)
Some of the stuff feels funny – picking out things, registering, etc. BUT FI is a newbie and I want him to be able to do it all. He’s aware that I won’t consider certain things because I don’t want a "repeat", but he doesn’t push it. This wedding is going to be OURS – and that part feels amazing.