Post # 1
Hello all, I’m technically a waiting bee, but SO and I have been seriously talking about our future wedding (he’s got the ring already but waiting for the perfect moment) We started talking about our idea of a small wedding… mine: 50 his: less than 10! Now I have weeded through my A list (all my best friends and close relatives) and can get it down to 15… this includes some married friends but not their spouses. BARE BONES MINIMUM! lol Then SO mentions my cousin, K. He really got along with her when she was in for a visit before Christmas, he mentioned that she would be a perfect Maid/Matron of Honor for me… I love her to bits, but I have a couple of problems with asking her to be my Maid/Matron of Honor… 1: She lives 7 hours away, can barely afford to come down here to visit, I can’t put the financial burden of being my Maid/Matron of Honor on her shoulders! and 2: my bare bones minimum family includes only my parents, Aunt and Uncle, and Grandmother(if she’s physically able to leave the home for that day), it doesn’t include K, her parents, siblings, or any of the other 20something cousins I have… just on that one side! I really would love for K to be there but I feel that inviting her and none of the rest of the cousins would result in WWIII (and in my family we’re always one step away from a major fight over stupidity)
So what would you do in my shoes? Anyone have something like this happen?
Post # 3
Lay it out for him. Make a list and show him how it adds up faster than one might think. And don’t even mention the idea to him that you would invite only half of a married couple. That’s not appropriate to split married couples. Just accept that they come as a pair.
If he insists on something so small that it will cause drama, then you might just consider eloping.
Post # 4
@LibertyBelle: lol I’d agree on the eloping but my parents would kill me if I cheated them out of the opportunity to see their only child get married!
Post # 5
Invite only your parents, grandparents, siblings (if your Fiance has any), nieces/nephews (if your FI has any)…immediate family only. And, maybe, plan everything for your wedding and only give your parents/grandparents a few weeks notice of the actual wedding date, and have them keep it quiet until you are married. It may go easier knowing the event is already over and nobody was invited, then to have your extended family or your friends feel as though they were left out on your wedding day.
WWIII isn’t worth it.
Post # 6
To me, it’s always best to use the same guidelines when it comes to guest list, so I happen to agree – with the cousins, it’s all or nothing.
Also, not inviting someone’s spouse is quite possibly worse than not inviting them at all to some people, especially if you are close.
Post # 7
I agree with the above posters – if you invite one cousin, you should invite them all. Also – why is your boyfriend picking your MOH? Of course he should approve of your choice, but if you have a friend in mind who’s a better choice, why go with the cousin who causes invite problems?
Post # 8
@AlwaysSunny: SO isn’t picking her, just suggesting her. He doesn’t really like my best friend who is my first pick for Maid/Matron of Honor, but he doesn’t really get a say. I love my cousin but as everyone keeps saying I can’t invite just her without inviting every cousin (including those who I wish I wasn’t related to!)
Post # 9
Sorry you’re going to need to invite spouses!! I would not be happy if someone asked me to watch their wedding and didn’t respect my marriage enough to invite my Darling Husband.
Invite who you want. I don’t think you have to invite all your cousins if you only talk to one of them. Your parents might be upset though if you didn’t invite their siblings.