Post # 1
Thanks to this thread: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/the-unexpected-ways-marriage-changes-things (sorry don’t know how to do a nifty little link thing) and Brothers and Sisters last night and other scenerios I have witnessed, is it always the DIL who must conform to her new family (DH’s family)?
I’m not looking into getting into a debate about changing your last name but I’ve witnessed people make comments that ‘you are one of them now’ like you have to leave your own family behind. And I’ve always seen it being the husbands family do this, not the wifes side. Or when it is the wifes side, it’s “welcome to the family. period.” not “you have to change to become one of us”. I know my view may be skewed but it’s something I’ve always wondered and last night B&S got me thinking; and yes, I realize I am using a TV show as an example 😉
Post # 3
I don’t know. My family is bigger and closer, and not broken by divorce, so I feel like my DH became one of us, much more so then I became one of them. Even though we live in the same city with his family and mine is 5 hours away, I think we both feel more connected to my family.
Post # 4
I feel like we’re both a big part of each of our families. We spend a pretty equal amount of time at both of our parents house. Luckily we live near them both so we don’t have to pick for the holidays, we go to both. And our parents get along great so sometimes we’ll all go out for dinner. I feel very blessed because now both my husband and I have two amazing families.
Post # 5
I feel like we’re involved in both families about equally, but FI’s is MUCH larger than mine. Luckily, we live about equal distances to both and both are in easy driving distances between each other, so hopefully we won’t have to do too much choosing sides. As for last names, I’m gladly taking FI’s name. Partly because I love his family, and partly because his last name flows better with my first name than my current last name. I won’t be moving my maiden name to my middle, but my current middle name is still a family name.
I don’t feel like I’ve had to conform to his family at all. Maybe because the transition was easy and his family was so welcoming, but I never felt any pressure. Even with the HUGE family get togethers (FI has 7 siblings while I’m an only child), it’s been all positive.