- 4 years ago
- Wedding: September 2014
Future groom here, needing assistance with a problem plaugeing my fiance. First some background…
She is a younger sister, and her older sister is the MoH. She is a quieter individual, who would never openly try and draw attention to herself. Her older sister is ALL about being the center of attention. We are high school sweethearts and have been together around 8 years. We are both finally out of school, have jobs, and are ready to settle down with one another. Ideal situation for us, but let me try and transition this to the questions and issue.
My fiance’s family (mother and Aunts mostly) keep only talking about her older sister and asking her when she is going to get married. “When are you and X going to settle down?” “When are you going to have a kid?” “Blah blah blah.” Her mother also keeps reminding her on a daily basis, how “sensitive” her sister is about the wedding. I am sorry, but constantly shutting down your daughter who is about to get married to appease the other, is very, very wrong. Even when she went dress shopping, she said a few conversations turned to be being about her sister.
…. It is constant when she is around, and not around. As a man coming into this family, I have kept my mouth shut as to not cause create any divides for my fiancé. However, it is hurting her greatly. She is upset, feels belittled, and like no one cares that she is getting married. She has always taken a back seat to the older sister, but her family is now doing the same in front of her constantly. I want to help but do not know where to begin. I keep telling her she needs to speak up, and sort of “Bridezilla” the conversation away from always being about her sister, but that is not her style.
She really needs to say something, and I would prefer it come from her and not me, as I feel like it would resonate better from her. I guess my question is, how would you gals/guys approach this sitatuion? I know the older sister jealously thing is common, but this is getting out of control, and I cannot continue to idlely stand by while my fiance is hurt.( I will say her Dad and her get along famously, and he has been great from the moment I asked for her hand.)
Thanks all in advance for taking the time to read this.