Post # 1
My fiance and I have been looking for homes. We agree on the area of the city we want to live in and the price range. However, we have different taste in homes.
I want something smaller with more greenspace around, and in an established neighborhood. He wants something brand new, a bit bigger, and he doesn’t mind having no trees to be seen out the windows.
I hate disagreeing with him because we always get along so well. This is the only thing we argue about.
Have any of you had disagreements on the homes you like? And how have you been able to work through your disagreements and come to a compromise?
Post # 3
Well, I think that it’s good that you at least agree on the location. I think that is actually the most important part! So that’s something..
Fiance and I are also looking at homes and I would say we definitely don’t have quite the same taste either. If we could have our dream home, our idea would probably be very similar..but what we’re willing to compromise on that is much different.
Maybe you could find a lot that you like in a neighborhood you like, and then you guys could build a new home on it (for him)?
Post # 4
@xlittlemissbridex: “If we could have our dream home, our idea would probably be very similar..but what we’re willing to compromise on that is much different.”
This was the same as Darling Husband and I when we were searching.
OP – I suggest you each decide on your top 2-3 “must haves” (so you’d have 4-6 must haves in total). Then start looking for homes that have all 4-6 of those items. That way the home will have the things that are most important to both of you while the things that are being compromised on are more minor.
Post # 5
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
We had very different ideas of home. Mr. LK loves ranchers, which are SO not my style. I love center hall colonials. They make my heart sing. We both like contemporary/modern homes, but they are rare in the part of the county where we are looking. As a PP suggested, we each made a list of our “must haves” and made sure that a house at least met those basic criteria. Then we made a list of “like to haves” and started working from there. After looking at about 5 ranchers we came to the conclusion that a rancher would never make me happy. And since Mr. LK likes me being happy more than he likes ranchers, he agreed to nix them from the list. In the end we went with the location that Mr. LK loves, the lot that we both love, and the general house layout that I love. We didn’t care about finishes, as we knew that anything in our price range would need cosmetic updates. I firmly believe that if you look long enough, you will find a house that makes you both happy.
Post # 6
We are definitely going to have some compromises when we start looking at houses in about 2-3 years.
Fiance would be completely happy with staying in the townhouse we own now; but we’re here primarily because taxes are $2k lower than a mile away in the school district we want our future children to attend. And, the backyard of our townhouse is a cliff…and I want a back yard our kids can play in and we can entertain in.
He’s all about the “anything you want”; but I want him to be happy too…so it may be a long process, but we’ll find something that we both love and not have to just settle for; but there will still be some compromises.
Post # 7
Thanks guys for all the suggestions. It is nice to know that others have had similar disagreements and have come to a resolution. I had a talk with Fiance and he told me that he would make sure that we find a home that we BOTH love. Like you guys have said, it will really help if we each make a list of our 2 or 3 “must haves.” I am going to do that right now. The good thing is that we have a year until our wedding so we aren’t in a rush. Thanks again!
Post # 8
Maybe you can look at a moderately new sub (1998-2002) where the trees have had time to grow, but the homes are still relatively new..?
Post # 9
Why not just plant some trees in the yard of the bigger house and call it a day?
I’ve lived in brand new, and i’ve lived in history-filled. Guess which one provided expensive surprise after surprise, was governed by historical preservation boards dictating how you do renovations, and was caused us to finally say “forget it!!”?
Yeah, the older historical home in the established neighborhood.
Post # 10
Good idea. I think that’s what we’re going to try to do.
Post # 11
So we bought a house!! and best of all we are both very happy with it. It is in a great location and it has some trees behind it that will be a decent size in a few years. It was built in 2001. It is new enough that it doesn’t have any problems with it. It is estblished enough that I can see some trees when looking out the windows. 🙂
Post # 12
@Jeannie7: Yaaayyyy!!!! Welcome to the new/first time home owner club 🙂