- 5 years ago
- Wedding: August 2005
Married for 7 years but constantly thinking about leaving my husband but don’t know how , just can’t find the strength to leave.
Firstly he is a loving, intelligent and caring person but I feel we married too quickly before I could realise the realities of his personality – my fault I know!
He is a natural intellectual but has never studied and although it’s something he has always wanted to do, he lives in fear of actually commiting to any type of learning path. He has therefore decided that his vocation in life is to have his own business, which he states is more suited to his personality as he has issues with authority or for working someone else.
I admire his drive and determination but it seems all of his business ideas involve me doing the majority of the work (laugh you may!). Seriously, whatever it is he wants to do I end up doing all the ground work and the work itself. He contributes but in a way in which he ends up not doing very much.
So why do I end up doing the work and why exactly do I put myself in this position? I used to work in corporate but due to the recent recession I’ve been unable to find work myself, leaving me with no option but to work with my husband, in the hope that his business would be viable to cover our cost of living – we are struggling financially and have been doing so for the last year. Even when we were financially OK I was the main earner.
It seems that the business can be profitable and is a good idea but somehow we find ourselves always on the border line money wise. I’m convinced that this is becuase I don’t have a particpating partner. My husband likes to talk, eat and sit!
I also do all of the work in the house – running the home, cleaning, washing etc. It’s only in the last year that he has begun to wash dishes and take the rubbish out.
I don’t want to be a matyr and seriously feel that its’ time to either lay down some serious borders or leave. Although I’ve tried before and has’nt worked.
Our marriage streses me out, I’m not doing what I want in life and I feel that my husband has far too many issues that I’m capable of dealing with. We have discussed counselling before but as with most things he always conveniently backs out. same with doctors, dentists and anything else that is good for him.
My husband is also quite overweight (family issue) & seems to have no self discipline when it comes to food, excercise etc.
And to top it off, he is very argumentative so if there is anything to discuss it always ends up being quite confrontational, so I’ll back down for the peace and nothing is resolved.
Again, he is the sweetest guy and the guy that everyone loves but maybe not the best husband material – for me anyhow. Sad but maybe true I just don’t know if I should be trying harder to lay down some rules after being with someone for 7 years, am I just running away by leaving him?
Thanks for reading….