Difficult, Insecure Friend

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
435 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@southernbelle381:  As hard as it is, people change. Maybe some distance will help the situation. Hopefully she finds her way in life and becomes less rude and judgemental. If not, you are better off without her.

Speaking from experience of losing friends who have changed into different people, it hurts but I am happier in the long run without their negative influence in my life. I don’t need people dragging me down. ( long term, I don’t mean if they are going through a hard time for a dew weeks and are negative because of it)

Best of luck to you. Hope it works out.

Post # 5
Member
435 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@southernbelle381:  I think you would be over reacting if she was rude once or twice… But to be continually negative, rude, and judgemental is 100% not okay. 

Your reaction is justified and space is best to see if she changes her behavior. If not, then you have a tough choice ahead of you. Keep the negative influence in your life. Or not be friends with her…

Post # 6
Member
502 posts
Busy bee

For the first text you use as an example, if I were here I would actually feel like you were commiserating to something that you couldn’t actually. Not to be mean, but if I had been LDR for awhile and someone else who normally got to see their SO a lot for a longer period of time, or lived closer to them, I would read that text as “She’s using my situation to make me feel sorry for hers when it’s not the same thing.” I’m not saying that’s right, but it’s how I react. I’m not describing it as well as I could but hopefully some people on here will see what I mean.

Texts are a difficult way to read people. Relationships that need to live through text are hard to maintain. Maybe ‘lol w/e’, while seeming really rude, could have been her way of saying “who cares what that person says”, which seems far less rude.

It all comes down to if you want to keep being friends. Have you ever talked to her about how you feel about her behaviour? If she has no clue, she doesn’t even have a chance to try to address it, should she choose to do so.

Post # 7
Member
122 posts
Blushing bee

i wouldn’t appreciate your first text. It sounds like you’re rubbing it in her face or something. At least that is how I would take it, and I’d probably respond similar to how she did (maybe not as harsh though), but I’d be annoyed. You may be some to blame for her behavior.

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