- 6 years ago
- Wedding: October 2013
I have had a lot on my mind over the last few days, and I’d like to describe it as feeling like I’m drowning. I’ll try to give you details, and hopefully this post won’t feel like running a marathon.
FH and I have been together for 5 years and 6 months. We were best friends throughout high school, but never had to the chance to start dating until college. I always knew he was my soul mate, as did he. Once we started dating, the rest has been history. We mutually decided to move in together about 3 years ago. It made more sense for us financially. Everything has been great, except me patiently waiting for him to propose. I know I will wait for 8 years if that is how long it would take, but as many of you waiting bees know…the persistent questions from friends and family about when we’re getting married, or when is he going to pop the question, gets tiring.
Some days/weeks/months, I am fine. Others, I get discouraged. I started a new job last November at a law firm. It can be a stressful atmosphere, but I like it. I have been offered a new position there, and am part legal secretary/part training to become a paralegal. It is very exciting because it gives me the opportunity to gain on the job experience. And, should we ever need to move to a different state, I will more than likely be able to find a new job.
FH has been at his employer for 4 years. Since he is the “single” guy with no family, and has the determination to do whatever it takes to “move up,” he has worked all sorts of crazy shifts. Not to mention, every 6 months they realign and he gets a new shift. I work 8am to 5pm Mon to Fri, he currently works 2pm to 12:30am. Needless to say, when I wake up and go to work, he’s sleeping. When he comes home from work, I’m sleeping. Our only “full day” together is on Sundays. And even that day isn’t always to ourselves because we try to spend time with our families and/or friends since we don’t see them often either. I’m not able to text at my work except during my lunch break, and then he’s so busy at his work, that he isn’t able to text either.
Our day to day conversations end up going something like: Hey how’s it going, good, how did you sleep, good, have a great day at work, okay, you too. And that’s about it. As a woman (we are givers and want to express our love), I have tried meeting him a couple times of week for lunch on his lunch breaks, and I have also attempted to stay up a couple of days during the week so I can talk to him about his day. The staying up part can be challenging because it will be closer to 1am before he gets home, and I am DEFINITELY an 8 hour of sleep kind of girl. Staying up cuts my sleep down, and then I’m tired at work the next day. FH has a 2nd interview at a new job tomorrow. Fingers crossed. However; the schedule will still be 2nd shift but only until 9pm. I’m just really bummed because I miss my best friend. I miss our quality time together.
My questions for you all is this:
1) Has anyone else had to deal with difficult work schedules, and how do you stay connected?
2) Do you think this transition period of him trying to find a new job will end up putting any thoughts of getting engaged on hold for him?
3) How do you keep yourself from thinking you’re good enough to play “housewife” but not good enough for him to commit to being married? 🙁
We have talked about marriage periodically. I am trying not to nag, and want him to propose because he wants to propose. He has confirmed a couple of times even in the last 6 months that he doesn’t want anyone else, and that one day he does want me to be his wife. The last time we talked about it he said he wanted everything to be perfect.
Thanks in advance for your comments and suggestions!