- 3 years ago
hi guys! this is my first post here on weddingbee. i’ve been silently stalking for the past year or so but i finally bit the bullet and created an account!
i’ve been engaged for over 6 months now and i’m having a personal dilemma at the moment. now, before anybody jumps down my throat (which i’m 100% anticipating) i’m not saying how i feel is RIGHT, but the fact of the matter is this is how i feel and i can’t shake it.
so my fiance proposed with a beautiful ring, no one can deny that. the setting of my dreams. when we first started talking about getting married he asked point blank what size i would want. i told him honestly i would prefer something 1-1.5ct (really in my head hoping for something 1.5-2ct) he shook his head in agreement and that was that. at one point when we were looking at rings in a jewerly store he nervously asked if i would be okay with a 2 carat and i laughed, we are NOT made of that kinda money.
now fast forward to my engagement. the ring REALLY is beautiful. i mean that honestly. but at .82 ct it’s NOT exactly what i was anticipating. i by NO means am saying .82 carats is SMALL, just, like i said, smaller than i ancipated. it breaks my heart 100% that i even FEEL this way let alone bring myself to tell him. we live in a really affluent area where the women get 2+ carat engagement rings so i’m constantly surrounded by these HUGE rocks and i honestly feel a little insecure about it.
let me repeat i honest to god HATE myself for feeling this way, but as HARD as i’ve tried to shake it… i can’t. unfortunately i’m one of those people who once i set my mind to something that i WANT, until i get exactly that i make myself nuts.
we are not in a financial position to shell out another $10k+ to upgrade a ring before we get married, but i can’t help but find myself obsessing over these 1.5+ ct rings and the cost of the loose diamonds and the blah blah blah.
has anyone else experienced this?
i’m so frustrated and disappointed in myself that i am being such a petty idiot about all this!!!
when he proposed i asked if he insured it (i have a really bad reputation of losing jewerly) and he said “no… i guess if you lose it i’ll just have to replace it. i’ll get you something bigger though.”
i dunno. i guess i’m just feeling really confused as to how i’m feeling and how to deal with it. i don’t know if i should just continue to mentally smack myself and be GRATEFUL, or if i should open up to him about this.
please don’t scream at me. i’m not a jerk i promise! i don’t even recognize this side of me! i’m really just looking for advice as to how to move past this.