Dilemma: Bridesmaids want to wear their hair in the same style as bride

posted 3 years ago in Beauty
Post # 3
3731 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@alexmd:  If they’re paying for their own hair, they get to wear it however they want. If you’re paying for it, you can have it done any way you want. 

Post # 4
1248 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Personally, I think grown women should wear their hair the way they wish to wear it. Besides, the same hairstyle never looks identical on different women anyway due to different colors, textures, etc.

Post # 5
1822 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013 - Pavilion overlooking golf course scenery, reception at banquet hall

I don’t think down in loose curls is unique enough for calling dibs. If it was a specific updo I could understand, but different lengths, colors, textures, and the faces under them should make the similar styles totally unnoticeable.

Edit: and that style may be the only one they know how to do themselves, if they don’t want to pay for a stylist.

Post # 6
402 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@alexmd:  I think you’re overthinking this.  Down with loose curls is a very common way to wear your hair for a special occasion. 

Your hairstyle isn’t what’s going to make you stand out.  You are the BRIDE.  Everyone knows you are the bride, and in case anyone forgot, your beautiful white bridal gown will remind them 🙂

I agree with the previous poster though, who mentioned that it depends on who’s financing the hair stylist.  If your BM’s are paying, you don’t have a leg to stand on.  If you’re paying, you can have them wear it how you’d like them to.  But personally I wouldn’t make a big deal out of it –I know it feels like a big deal right now, but in truth it’s just a small detail that probably nobody else would even notice but you.  

Post # 7
1482 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - Creek club at ion, SC

Are you wearing a veil? Im sure youll be wearing some hairpieces that will look very bridal. In any case you are the bride and will always look unique and special.


Post # 8
7281 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

There would be nothing weird about it, and this is not something to stress over.

Post # 9
2070 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012 - Oak Tree Manor

@LilySarah:  +1. I wouldn’t worry about this one, your BMs aren’t models for your wedding photos –  they’re your closest friends. Let them choose their own hairstyles so they feel pretty too; I doubt anyone would look at you next to your bridesmaids and think they were upstaging you or would confuse them for you!

Post # 12
6171 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

@wabanzi:  +1 exactly what i was going to say.

everyone’s hair is different so the same hair style will look different on everyone.


Post # 14
1167 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@alexmd:  I may be the only one against the grain, but I don’t like the idea of everyone in a bridal party having the same hair. Its not so bad for updo’s, because its easy to make them look different and veils cover mostly everything anyhow, but loose curly waves looks the same. Out of 7 of you Im sure there are a few people with almost identcal hair, even just long and dark looks the same!

But seeing as so many of your girls want that hairstyle, would you consider having a gorgeous updo?

I have never even considered, paying for my hair or not, that I would choose my own hairstyle when in the bridal party. You agreed to be in the bridal party, surely you didn’t think you would get to control how everything looks? Those photos are important to the bride, and much less to anyone else, and in all honesty its only one night, why can’t you dress up in the dress she likes and have the basic hairstyle she likes for the one time she will ever ask it of you…?

Meh. Rant over/

Post # 15
403 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I wore mine mostly down with loose curls and a little bit pulled up with a hair piece and veil.  I let me bridesmaids choose their own styles (I paid), but I didn’t want anyone with really formal up dos.  Therefore three of my 5 bridesmaids had similar hairstyles to me and didn’t bother me, it was obvious i was the bride!

Post # 16
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

I wouldn’t even notice as the guest! I think it’s WAY more bizarre when the bride’s updo matches the BM updos!

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