DILEMMA!!! Just saw my BFF's secret ering….and she will HATE it

posted 3 years ago in Rings
Post # 4
1248 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@Crystalchild23:  if he asked specifically for your opinion on if she would like it, then and only then should you state your opinion. 

This is between him and her.

Post # 5
5208 posts
Bee Keeper

@Crystalchild23:  Well, if you are saving him some head/heart ache, I say tell him. I mean if you are POSITIVE that she is going to hate it,then I think he should know.


@Washingtonian:  ^5…..no doubt

Post # 6
3394 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I know your heart is in the right place, but I honestly don’t think it’s your business. I was the opposite of your friend – I always loved the look of elaborate, vintage-style rings and FI proposed with a classic Tiffany solitaire. Quite truthfully, it took a while but I’ve come to love it – and I wouldn’t change it for the world. Let your friend come to her own conclusions.

Post # 7
6948 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@Crystalchild23:  ugh!!! This is so hard! Thank God my BFF’s husband texted me in a panic at the store. The clerk had just about convinced him a princess cut was a necessity even though her ONE criteria was that it be emerald cut! I seriously think she would have been so pissed he didn’t listen to her one request that she might have said no! 

I don’t know what you should do. Is the right ring more important than the awesome proposal? So hard!!!

Post # 8
3128 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

I would gently remind him of what she said. Something along the lines of, “I remember her mentioning that she really wanted a solitaire. What made you decide to go with this instead?”. Maybe they had another discussion after the fact (doubtful) or a sales person talked him into it. Or he just went off the rails.. At the very least it will prepare him if she really does hate it and wants to bring up an exchange after the proposal!

Post # 9
197 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

What kind of conversation lead him to show you the ring? He didn’t show it to you for no reason! That being said, I think that you should tell him… This kind of topic always draws a bunch of mixed answers. I might be a little biased because if you know me you know I have a “tell it like it is whether you like or not” personality LOL. 

Post # 11
900 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@Crystalchild23:  Why does this happen so often?  I love my FI and I love my E-ring but he kind of did the same thing.  He got the setting perfect and it’s wonderful but instead of a moissanite he got me a colored gem….

But whatever – worse things have happened in the world,

It is odd that this happens so often.  The guy asks the girl what she likes, she tells him and he does something else.  Is it because they aren’t listening?

Post # 13
529 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Tell him!! Many girls don’t want to change after its their engagement ring, but equally hate having to learn to love a ring that they think looks atrocious. I would HATE the ring he picked out, and be so so sad if my best friend had a chance to change things, but didnt

Post # 15
3584 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Can you text back something like, “I could’ve sworn she wanted a round six-prong solitaire”?


Post # 16
1197 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@Crystalchild23:  is it possible that she tried on a similar ring and ended up loving it?  I know when I was looking for erings I would change my mind almost every week! 

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