Dilemma over venue. What would you do?

posted 3 years ago in Venue
  • poll: Which option seems best?
    Wedding in France (original plan) : (6 votes)
    38 %
    Wedding in Brighton (new plan) : (9 votes)
    56 %
    Other: Please comment! : (1 votes)
    6 %
  • Post # 3
    22124 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2011

    Both locations look beautiful! My initial thought is to have your whole wedding in Brighton, largely because you said this:

    Most people we know don’t have that kind of money to spend on coming to our wedding.”

    Your wedding ceremony is of course about you and your groom, but your reception is about getting to celebrate with your loved ones! I’d hate for you to be disappointed by your loved ones being unable to attend due to costs…as much as they’d want to be there!

    But then, the question is…can you afford the extra money that it will cost to have your ceremony and reception all in Brighton? That’s a pretty significant additional cost. If you can swing it, my guess is that it would be worth it because like you said, less hassle for you and more likely that your loved ones will be able to come celebrate with you! But obviously, just as costs are a factor for your guests, they’re a factor for you, too!

    And of course — it’s totally up to you. Which is more important to you — the venue or the guest list? No wrong answer, but how you answer will definitely inform your decision! 🙂

    Post # 4
    2642 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I think what you need to decide is how important having certain friends and family at your wedding.  Are you going to be ok with some people not being able to afford it?  Personally, I’d have the wedding in Brighton so more people could attend.  But I’m in the camp where I’d rather sacrifice other things (dress, decor, venue, had buffet over plated, etc) so that I could invite more people.  Some people would rather have a fancier, but smaller party.

    Also, planning an out of town wedding isn’t always easy.  I would think planning a wedding in a different country would be quite a hassle.  So from a logistics prospective, I’d say Brighton.  It might be more expensive, but sometimes it’s worth it to spend more so you stress less.  But if depends on if you can afford the extra cost.  If you can’t, then I’d probably opt to deal with logistical stress over financial stress.

    So I guess, in the end, if you can afford the Brighton wedding, that’s what I’d do.  Good luck!


    Post # 5
    221 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I might be biased, but I’d do a private civil wedding in Brighton and another ceremony in France, maybe with a non-religious celebrant. That’s what we did, for slightly different reasons: we had a very simple civil partnership ceremony here in Ireland, where we live, with just my partner’s family, then we went for dinner, and a few months later, a non-religious ceremony in France, where I’m from, with both our families, when we did the whole white dress/ photographer/ reception thing. Now that France recognizes same-sex marriage, we’ll get married there (again) so that we’re married everywhere!


    Anyway, that could be an option for you, maybe make a holiday out of the French wedding, so that people can justify the cost and time? Our families stayed with us for a week, and it was perfect, and reduced the stress on the day!


    Good luck, and let us know what you decide!

    Post # 6
    1154 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2015

    If it is important to you that as many people on the guest list can go as possible, I’d have it in Brighton.  Personally though I’d do France!

    Post # 9
    802 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2015 - Backyard Forest


    what about flipping it? 

    Have your private ceremony in France and a simplier reception in Brighton? You don’t have to do the whole big reception if you’ve already gotten married – think cocktail party versus a full blown reception? 

    Just a thought!

    Otherwise I would lean more towards the whole thing in Brighton if you think that most of your guests could not afford a France reception.  

    Post # 10
    1154 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2015

    @DarlingClementine:  Do Brighton then and go immediately from Brighton to France for the first part of your honeymoon to do a “bridal photography shoot” with your FI where you would have had the wedding, just the two of you!!! 

    Post # 11
    1881 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    I’m slightly confused, where do you live now? Where do most of your guests live?

    Both options look beautiful, so I would go with what makes the most sense.

    Also, if you have a civil ceremony in Brighton, that is your wedding. If you have a separate party in France, that is your reception. The act of getting married is the wedding, anything after that is a celebration. Be clear with that to your guests if you do go this route.

    Post # 14
    1881 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    @DarlingClementine:  Gotcha. In your case, I would do everything in Brighton. It sounds lovely, and most convenient for you and your guests. While your immediate family might have to travel, it sounds like they would need to travel regardless (to either France or Brighton).

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