- 6 years ago
- Wedding: July 2011
Hi bees, I’m having a bit of a conundrum regarding house guests after our baby arrives and hoping for advice or stories from those who have had similar experiences.
Darling Husband and I are expecting our first baby at the end of June – it will be the first grandchild for my parents, who are of course over the moon excited! The only difficulty is that Darling Husband and I live in Australia and my parents live in the US.
My mom is planning on coming to visit after the baby is born and will stay with us for several weeks, which we’re happy with, but we’re having an issue agreeing upon when she can come visit. Mom wants to come as soon as the baby is born, Darling Husband and I would like her to wait for about two weeks or so.
Darling Husband and I are adamant that we have those first two weeks on our own with the baby before having anyone come to stay with us at our home. We really want that time to bond with the baby, adjust to being parents, and time to celebrate our new little family unit. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask for that time to get used to everything on our own.
My mom has always been a proponent of new parents taking time on their own before having people come to stay, but now that she’s the ‘guest’ in question, she’s changing her story a bit and saying she was only referring to parents having a few days alone together, not two weeks.
As airfares are involved, things are a bit tricky with planning a visit – fortunately, flights to Australia from the US don’t really fluctuate with last minute fare increases. She could book a ticket for tomorrow and pay the same price for it as if she had booked it 5 weeks in advance. With this in mind, Darling Husband and I have asked that she wait until the baby is born, then book a ticket for approximately 10 – 14 days later. She has said she is not happy to do this because she doesn’t like the idea of doing a last minute airfare and she wants to book something sooner than that.
Right now, she’s looking at booking a ticket for 6 days after my due date. I have pointed out that we may not even have a baby by then, or we may still be in hospital, or we may have only just arrived home, and it is really important for us to have some time on our own. She gets really hurt when I say that and says it sounds like we don’t want her here, which is ludicrous because we do and we’re happy for her to stay for the 8 – 10 weeks she’s planning on staying, but we just want that time at the beginning!
I don’t really know how to handle this. Has anyone else experienced something similar? How did you handle it? And is our request that we have two weeks on our own that selfish and out of line? I hate feeling guilt tripped but I’m also super sensitive and the thought of hurting my mom’s feelings also makes me really upset.