Post # 1
Last semester, I took a marketing class and we had a semester-long group project. My group and I got along pretty well but the lack of communication, un-timeliness, and amount of disagreements made the entire process incredibly frustrating for me. When they class was over, they wanted to have a celebration drink and I agreed to go, and three out of four of them added me to their FB. Now, three months later, they want to do another get-together and I’m honestly not interested in going. I feel obligated to go and am feeling stressed about it.
We never hung out outside of class and we don’t talk on FB at all really. Do you think I’m being unreasonable for not wanting to go? If I choose not to go, they won’t understand and I won’t be able to explain without hurting feelings, hence why I feel obligated (I guess that’s not the right word, but I’m not too sure what is, pressured?).
What should I do? I’d be happy to provide more info if you need it. THANK YOU!
Post # 3
If you don’t have class with them now and you won’t again, I see no reason to continue to be “friends” with people that you aren’t really friends with. Why would they insist on you being there if you guys aren’t really all that friendly and are only “FB friends?” I guess I don’t get where the pressure has come from?
Post # 4
@AmeliaBedelia: Thanks, I agree. The pressure comes from ME, I’ll admit it. I feel bad for not wanting to go or invest in them since I feel like they want to be friends. I’m the kind of person who “feels bad” a lot, I hate to say (it’s something I’m working on). SO always tells me “well knock it off, you have nothing to feel bad about”.
I guess I’m just afraid of the 20 questions that follow “I can’t make it”. They’re the kind that “why” everything to death instead of just saying “ok” (had it happen with a couple meetings when we had class together). I’m not sure how to explain that I just don’t want to invest in being “friends”. I feel mean for saying that, it’s that I don’t feel we click.
Post # 5
I think it’s perfectly reasonable to not want to go…unless these are people who are going to be valuable network assets for you later. Then you might want to suck it up and just go as a “networking/career” thing.
Sounds like, if they were that disorganized and difficult to work with, they wouldn’t be very good people to know in the long term, so I wouldn’t fret too much about it! Just give a little white lie–oh, FI and I are so busy planning the wedding and keeping up with classes, I can’t possibly squeeze it in; I am so sorry!
Post # 6
Something that always works for me is this sentence:
“I’m really sorry, I’d love to but my SO and I are really trying to save money for our wedding. Going out doesn’t fit into our budget right now. Have fun!”
The best part is: I’m never really lying. We do try to watch our budget 🙂
Post # 7
Don’t go if you don’t want to.
Post # 8
Thanks Ladies!!! That would work if we were engaged, but it’s not even close really. I’m not going to go, I’ll think of something legit!
Post # 9
Yeah, I wouldn’t go. If you aren’t going to see them again, then it’s not a big deal to make up an excuse. Give it some time and you will be able to delete them off Facebook! This reminds me I should go through and purge my friends list of people I don’t see or talk to at all! 🙂
Post # 10
You should not feel obligated to go.