Dilemma with new engagement ring help!

posted 2 years ago in Rings
Post # 2
951 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015 - City Hall!

That’s hard. While I understand where you are coming from, I also see where he is. Why don’t you set it in a necklace?

Post # 3
1116 posts
Bumble bee

Could you have your mum’s diamond set as a different piece of jewellery?  E.g. as a necklace to wear on the day or a rhr?

Post # 4
34 posts
  • Wedding: May 2015 - Leicester, UK

Lotus0314:  could you get your Mom’s diamond set into your wedding band? I’m doing that with a diamond that’s special to me..although mine is 0.1ct and yours is 1ct so maybe it’s too big?

Post # 5
2355 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I think I would go with setting it into a necklace or a RHR like cpick said. I can see why you’re bothered by this, and I think it would have been nice for your FI to have taken it into account, but it’s also meaningful to have an heirloom from his side of the family.

Post # 6
192 posts
Blushing bee

I agree that a necklace or a right hand ring might work. The ring could include birthstones from your family members to be more of a family ring

Post # 7
219 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014 - Temple Beth Am/Love is Blind

If you can make it work as a wedding band,  I think that would be perfect.  I understand where you’re coming from and it isn’t silly or stupid, I am certain you can find a compromise that you are both happy with.

Post # 8
814 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Lotus0314:  I think if I were your place, I would say something. I’m very sorry that your mom passed away and I can only imagine how special her stone is to you. While I agree with others that your fiance’s heirloom is also very special, I just think your mom’s stone is a whole different category. Does your fiance know how important your mom’s diamond is to you? It’s a little surprising that he didn’t propose to you with it. Anyway, here are a few suggestions. Could you possibly have your mom’s diamond set into your fiance’s heirloom setting? Or, could the heirloom ring be used as a band? If that doesn’t work, could you use a different heirloom ring (if there are any) as a band and your mom’s as an engagement ring?

Either way, it’s a tough situation and I think you are being very gracious about it.

Post # 10
2233 posts
Buzzing bee

Lotus0314:  That’s a beautiful ring! I love vintage and antiques. I would set mom’s diamond and wear it as an alternate or as a right hand ring (RHR). There’s nothing wrong with having 2 rings to wear if you’ve got ’em!! I think you should impress upon your FI the significance and importance of your mother’s stone until he understands what it means to you.

Post # 11
7191 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

I would probably tell him that it means so much to to you to have your mom’s stone. I don’t understand why he wouldn’t be willing to give you something that means so much to you.

Post # 12
10899 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

This is a sensitive situation.  I think what I probably would do is to have your mother’s diamond set into a setting that looks like an engagement ring, and then you can choose which ring to wear with your wedding band and which to wear as an RHR.

Post # 13
187 posts
Blushing bee

Lotus0314:  I would probably keep that ring as your engagement ring and maybe wear your mom’s diamond in a simple setting on your right hand. Each ring has it’s own special meaning and value, I say wear 2 special rings!

Post # 14
2247 posts
Buzzing bee

Lotus0314:  Gorgeous ring! I think if you really want your mom’s diamond set in a ring, that your current ring would make a very nice right hand ring which would allow you to use your mom’s diamond as your ering…although its possible his mom may want the ring back if you go with using your mom’s stone. I think you have a good reason to want a different ring, and its obviously an emotional one involving your mom, so I don’t think it would be obnoxious to bring it up.

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