- 6 years ago
Let me begin by saying, this is going to be long. I’m dealing with a LOT of hurt feelings (mine) and just total surprise, that I don’t even know if I’ll be making sense.
So here’s my question to all of you Daughters-In-Law who treat your MIL’s like crap – and NOT when the Mother-In-Law treats you badly. (those MIL’s I 100% understand and I’d behave nasty also, fortunately, my Mother-In-Law is a gem, and so have been my past MIL’s).
Why do you write about how awful your husband’s side of the family is, or what they did or didn’t do – but when it comes down to your own family (especially if you are very close to them), it’s okay to overlook it?
I THOUGHT I had a wonderful relationship with my “Future” DIL. We would talk, we would joke around, we’d email, FB message or chat, etc. I was so excited to see the kids get married, I couldn’t WAIT for the wedding to see her walking down the aisle toward my son.
The kids got married in the Fall. Since then. Not. One. Word.
I send text messages – I am ignored.
I send messages on FB – Yup, you got it. Ignored.
I talk to my son, maybe 1 or 2 times a month. I have never been one to interfere or ask questions, I have always figured it’s not my business, and I prefer to NOT be considered “nosy” or whatever it is these days.
The wedding was beautiful! It rained every day – except for the wedding! The wedding was in a different state than where the Bride/Groom, my husband & I, and the majority of the Bride’s family lives. Also, the groom/my son has 2 brothers scattered across the country.
The wedding was held at one of the Groom’s relatives home’s. The week before the wedding my husband and I were out helping to put up the tent, clean the house, etc, making sure we could get everything together until the happy couple and her parents arrived. No problem, we didn’t mind; I personally love doing that kind of stuff, all of the “set up/pre” work!
On the day of the wedding, there was quite a bit of finishing up to get done. However, the bridal party – her folks, maids, son’s groomsmen – all got ready at the house (well, I don’t think my son did, can’t remember, sorry). They were running behind schedule. My husband and I – in-laws-to-be – were not invited to go along, so we didn’t get ready. We were, actually, put in charge of “finishing up”. Okay. Well, then that would mean that my relatives had to do all of the work. Right, and be at the wedding too? AND get ready?
Guess what – when my son left for the photos – he took the car my husband and I were borrowing. Now we have no vehicle to get wherever we are supposed to be. The only thing we were told was where to be for the photos and what time.
Here’s where I did a major FUBAR.
We were late. In fact, we did not even GET to the ceremony site until about 15 minutes before it started.
Unbeknownst to the kids already at the site:
1. We had no car. Sooo, how were we supposed to get there? I didn’t realize when my son said he had permission to take the car that he wasn’t bringing it back!
2. Up until 3PM we were CLEANING THE HOUSE and the bathroom. It was a mess – the bathroom that is. We also had to fix the toilet seat as somehow that got broken during the “getting ready” portion of the photography.. THREE different people can confirm this.
3. At 2:45PM we were still waiting for the truck that had all of the chairs (or something like that) so we could take it over to the ceremony site and set them up. Now, if me, my husband, and two others had left, that would mean that the two who were setting up the chairs wouldn’t have a way to get back to the house, get showered, get dressed, get back to the ceremony – because, we now are down a vehicle. So, we are trying to coordinate, but the entire party is running late, no one is communicating with us, you name it! (mind you, the portion of the wedding party that was supposed to take care of this and who had the chairs was running behind, which put THIS side of the family behind – but WE (the grooms side, or rather is entire maternal side) are the ones who are being faulted here.
4. Lastly – I had a major meltdown. I felt horrible, I looked horrible, I KNEW I looked horrible. I was at the point that I didn’t even want to go because I didn’t want to embarrass the kids. We are talking major crying jag. I couldn’t do anything with my hair (humidity).
So we finally get to the ceremony site, like I said, about 15 minutes before it starts. Oh boy, my son comes over to me and just tells me off. Even my ex-husband looked at him like, “Did he really just talk to you like that?” I was upset, I walked away crying, I didn’t even want to be there.
Okay – I GET that he is worried about his Bride, and I accept that. Like I said, it was a huge mistake on my part. It definitely was NOT intentional to be late for pictures.
(…to be continued…)