Dinner in multiple rooms

posted 3 years ago in Venue
  • poll: How would you feel about eating in an adjoining room?
    It's no big deal--I wouldn't care : (8 votes)
    13 %
    Not my first choice, but I would live : (9 votes)
    15 %
    I don't like it, but it doesn't matter much to me : (10 votes)
    16 %
    It isn't acceptable--I'd feel second class in an adjoining room : (34 votes)
    56 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    142 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    @MaryRachel:  Ultimately, it’s up to what you are most comfortable with! But since you are asking for opinions… from the one wedding that I went to that had a similar setup to this, I didn’t care much for it :/  Sometimes I felt like I was missing out on really sharing the day with the bride and groom. 

    Is there another spot where all the guests fit togehter for the rest of the reception and dancing? Or will everyone be separated out for the entire night? If yes, then the rest of this is moot, but if not, then my experience with that is that I didn’t care much for feeling as though I had to search from room to room to find the couple or other friends that were at the wedding.  I missed the cake cutting because word didn’t get around to all the rooms that this was going on.  I also didn’t think people got into dancing as much because it was either – you’re dancing or you’re in this room chatting and the transition wasn’t easy.  The bar was also in a separate room and because it was too small to fit all the people, it got really crowded.

    Ugh, sorry.  I feel like I’m raining on your parade or something.  Though not all of what I’m commented on may even apply to your venue/plans.  Whatever you chose to do, it sounds like you have a lovely venue and, at the end of the day, people will be excited to share in your day and no one is going to say anything about the multiple rooms on your day.  I’m only critical about it now because I’m planning a wedding too, ya know? None brides don’t think this way 😉

    Post # 5
    Member
    926 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Been to many weddings like this.   I don’t enjoy them because you miss out on a lot from the dancing to cake cutting.  It feels awkward (not necessarily like you’re second class).

    Post # 6
    Member
    4076 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @MaryRachel:  I went to a wedding with a setup of multiple rooms and it was terrible. Mostly because we missed the “events” like first dance, toasts, etc, because we were in a different room.

    But there is definitely a stigma to it! Right before the dinner started and most guests arrived, the MOB and MOG were fighting over the seating attangements, to put their own guests in th main room and other people (the B list) in the other rooms.

    Post # 7
    Member
    11772 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I wouldn’t mind… Unless I was really close to you, and had to sit in one of the adjoining rooms!

    But I’m assuming you’ll have your nearest and dearest close by, and your peripheral friends in the adjoining room, and I would have no problem with that as a peripheral friend!

    Post # 8
    Member
    391 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I recently went to a wedding like this and did not like it at all.  We were seated in the farthest corner away from the room with the bridal party (and of course there was another half of the house where people where seated that was equally as far).  And I am a close friend of the groomy! There was just a lot of family that had to be seated closer, which I understand, but I just honestly think it’s kind of a rude set-up to choose knowing that you are cutting people off from feeling like they get to be with the B&G.

    On a more helpful, and less I-felt-personally-slighted-note, another draw-back to this set-up is that it takes a lot more time to usher people from place to place to have the speeches, etc.  If you have to call everyone to one room for speeches and then go eat elsewhere and then back, etc. it eats up a lot of time.  I think at the reception I went to like this, we didnt even get to dancing til after 9 because of this.

    Post # 9
    Member
    11668 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I went to a wedding like this and really hated it to be honest.  Everyone in the second room, which was inevitably smaller than the first felt pretty put off and like they didn’t matter as much. 

    Post # 10
    mswallabyBee
    2070 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2012 - Oak Tree Manor

    @MrsWBS:  +1. Honestly, I’ve been to a wedding like that and I hated the seating arrangement – it wasn’t personal at all.

    Post # 12
    Member
    5087 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2014

    I would feel so sad if I wasn’t one of the chosen guests to eat with the bride and groom. I’d be gutted. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    40 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    My brother-in-law and (now!) sister-in-law just had a very similar set-up, and it was literally no problem at all.  The first dance was right after cocktail hour, and then we segwayed into dinner.  After dinner, we went on to dancing where mom/dad dances and the toasts occurred.  There were no “coraling” issues, as the day was structured in such a way as to feel very fluid.  The venue was so beautiful (old mansion with a view of the ocean). I’m glad they overcame initial concerns with the mulitple rooms and picked it- one of the best weddings I’ve ever been to.

    And who needs to eat in the bride’s sight line anyway?

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