Post # 1
What are your thoughts on having guests eating in more than one room? The venue we are probably going to book is an old mansion on gorgeous grounds. Inside, 8 tables fit in the living room, then 2 more in the garden room just off of it, and 3 more in the parlor just off of that (see terrible floor plan below).
The coordinator said they recommend doing the first dance and toasts outside at the end of cocktail hour (so everyone is in one place) and then going in to dinner and we think that sounds fine.
We thought we could maybe have the families with small children in the parlor room–which might be nice in terms of not worrying about keeping your kids in line? Or maybe I’m just telling myself that.
What are your feelings on not eating in the same room as the bride & groom?
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Post # 3
@MaryRachel: Ultimately, it’s up to what you are most comfortable with! But since you are asking for opinions… from the one wedding that I went to that had a similar setup to this, I didn’t care much for it :/ Sometimes I felt like I was missing out on really sharing the day with the bride and groom.
Is there another spot where all the guests fit togehter for the rest of the reception and dancing? Or will everyone be separated out for the entire night? If yes, then the rest of this is moot, but if not, then my experience with that is that I didn’t care much for feeling as though I had to search from room to room to find the couple or other friends that were at the wedding. I missed the cake cutting because word didn’t get around to all the rooms that this was going on. I also didn’t think people got into dancing as much because it was either – you’re dancing or you’re in this room chatting and the transition wasn’t easy. The bar was also in a separate room and because it was too small to fit all the people, it got really crowded.
Ugh, sorry. I feel like I’m raining on your parade or something. Though not all of what I’m commented on may even apply to your venue/plans. Whatever you chose to do, it sounds like you have a lovely venue and, at the end of the day, people will be excited to share in your day and no one is going to say anything about the multiple rooms on your day. I’m only critical about it now because I’m planning a wedding too, ya know? None brides don’t think this way 😉
Post # 4
@SkyChick: Thanks for your honest reply and I’m not offended at all–you brought up some really good stuff to think about. There are 3 rooms where people would eat, and then a three more + a large lobby on the first floor, as well as the grounds outside. We liked that people could be in more than one place and not everyone needed to be dancing–although we will do the toasts and first dance before dinner so everyone is in one place (outdoor cocktail hour). But I hadn’t thought about people not being able to find us or wondering what was going on somewhere else.
And your last paragraph made me laugh–you are totally right. I have to remind myself that people will get over non-ideal things, even if they don’t love them and I don’t either. It happens and it isn’t ultimately the end of the world. Maybe we’ll just put our parents friends and FI’s cousins that we feel obligated to invite in there 🙂
Post # 5
Been to many weddings like this. I don’t enjoy them because you miss out on a lot from the dancing to cake cutting. It feels awkward (not necessarily like you’re second class).
Post # 6
@MaryRachel: I went to a wedding with a setup of multiple rooms and it was terrible. Mostly because we missed the “events” like first dance, toasts, etc, because we were in a different room.
But there is definitely a stigma to it! Right before the dinner started and most guests arrived, the MOB and MOG were fighting over the seating attangements, to put their own guests in th main room and other people (the B list) in the other rooms.
Post # 7
I wouldn’t mind… Unless I was really close to you, and had to sit in one of the adjoining rooms!
But I’m assuming you’ll have your nearest and dearest close by, and your peripheral friends in the adjoining room, and I would have no problem with that as a peripheral friend!
Post # 8
I recently went to a wedding like this and did not like it at all. We were seated in the farthest corner away from the room with the bridal party (and of course there was another half of the house where people where seated that was equally as far). And I am a close friend of the groomy! There was just a lot of family that had to be seated closer, which I understand, but I just honestly think it’s kind of a rude set-up to choose knowing that you are cutting people off from feeling like they get to be with the B&G.
On a more helpful, and less I-felt-personally-slighted-note, another draw-back to this set-up is that it takes a lot more time to usher people from place to place to have the speeches, etc. If you have to call everyone to one room for speeches and then go eat elsewhere and then back, etc. it eats up a lot of time. I think at the reception I went to like this, we didnt even get to dancing til after 9 because of this.
Post # 9
I went to a wedding like this and really hated it to be honest. Everyone in the second room, which was inevitably smaller than the first felt pretty put off and like they didn’t matter as much.
Post # 10
- Wedding: November 2012 - Oak Tree Manor
@MrsWBS: +1. Honestly, I’ve been to a wedding like that and I hated the seating arrangement – it wasn’t personal at all.
Post # 11
@GeorgiaBride5: @kerensa: @MmeVT: @MrsWBS: @Mrs. Wallaby: Thanks for your honest opinions! I definitely don’t want anyone to feel like they are missing out, and it sounds like that will be a pretty big problem.
@BrandNewBride: Your peripheral friend comment cracked me up. I’m thinking maybe peripheral family? Like FI’s cousins that we have to invite 🙂
Post # 12
I would feel so sad if I wasn’t one of the chosen guests to eat with the bride and groom. I’d be gutted.
Post # 13
My brother-in-law and (now!) sister-in-law just had a very similar set-up, and it was literally no problem at all. The first dance was right after cocktail hour, and then we segwayed into dinner. After dinner, we went on to dancing where mom/dad dances and the toasts occurred. There were no “coraling” issues, as the day was structured in such a way as to feel very fluid. The venue was so beautiful (old mansion with a view of the ocean). I’m glad they overcame initial concerns with the mulitple rooms and picked it- one of the best weddings I’ve ever been to.
And who needs to eat in the bride’s sight line anyway?