Post # 1
FI & I have been living with his parents for almost 3 years now. Almost every single night of FMIL has made dinner which has been awesome. She never needs help even when I ask, I’ve offered a gazillion times to make dinner & it’s always been ‘no, i got it’.
So what am I complaining about?? Well, dinner is usually never served until about 8 (the earliest), sometimes even 9:30!!
The wedding is in 1 year, I can’t be eating that late but I don’t want to hurt her feelings. FMIL said in the past she doesn’t care if we make something for ourselves yet when going to the grocery store she gets enough food for everyone. What’s a girl to do??
I’m trying to lose 40 pounds and eating this late is killing me. And for some reason I have no energy to go to the gym. What’s wrong with me!!
Post # 3
Maybe I’m just confused but I really don’t understand what the issue is? Is it that you get hungry before then and snack?
Post # 4
That’s tough….it’s hard to pass up great food!! I would just tell her that you are going on a special wedding diet and won’t be able to eat that late. I would just start making your own healthy dinners around 5pm or so and not eat after 7pm.
Post # 5
- Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas
I’m with futuredrbraun on this one – you can’t really make her change how she does things, but you can let her know that you’ll be dieting and just start shopping for yourself (and your fiance, if he’s willing to join!) and eat earlier. Hopefully she’ll understand – I don’t see why she would have a problem with it!
Post # 6
As someone who once lost 50 lbs (gulp) I understand you problem. It is important for many people trying to lose weight to eat at certain intervals throughout the day. When I first started on my diet, I kept eating at 7:30 or 8, but when I started regularly eating at about 6 it worked better. I wasn’t as hungry and my body got a pick me up for the rest of the evening, so I had energy. Anyway, I can understand why you want to eat earlier.
Firstly, if you haven’t already, sit down with your FMIL and explain why you need a different eating schedule and will be cooking for yourself. You don’t want her to think it was something that she did. Perhaps you could even offer to make one meal a week, to be served at an earlier time and in accordance with your own diet. That will give you the opportunity to try out some recipes. Finally, if you aren’t already doing Weight Watchers, you may want to check out a meeting. They really are helpful at advising members to handle these situations.
Post # 7
you need to be more pro-active. just go to the grocery store and pick up some items. if your FMIL shops on sundays, go shopping on saturday. i don’t see why she would be opposed to you buying your own groceries. let her know that while you appreciate her generosity and kindness and delicious food, you need to stick to an eating plan that will help you lose the weight. then start cooking for yourself (and your in-laws once in a while). everyone appreciates a meal.
Post # 8
I would say start cooking for yourself but maybe give her a heads up so that she doesn’t think it has anything to do with her. Woman tend to know what other woman deal with so I’m sure she’ll understand.
If she really wants to keep cooking for everyone maybe you could just work out a a system where you eat leftovers from the day before at an earlier time.
Post # 9
- Wedding: May 2018 - St. Charles Borromeo Church/Jefferson-Orleans North
Maybe just have a small (low calorie) snack to hold you over, like carrots, celery or apples.
As long as you keep your calories in check, you should be ok! I’ve been losing weight eating at crazy odd hours (like 8:30pm dinners and 10pm snacks). For me, it’s all about counting every calorie, not watching the time that you eat. 🙂
Post # 10
is it an important family thing that the whole family has dinner together? if so, how about smaller portions?
otherwise, take it to work the next day so she knows you do like the food.
Post # 11
Do your future in-laws believe in leftovers? If you talked to your MIL, maybe it would be possible for you to eat last nights dinner the next night at a reasonable hour? You still get the great food, but you get a controlled portion at a time that works for you.
I think eating earlier will help you have more energy. Also, depends on what you’re eating – what kind of food is his mom making?
Sit down with her and have a chat – she might be willing to work with you, or at least she won’t be offended if you start cooking on your own. I think if you start randomly cooking out of the blue, she might get offended.
Try hitting the gym before work – getting it done and over with really helps.
Post # 12
I’ve already sat down with FMIL, several times about what to make for dinner, time, etc. She constantly says it’ll change but it never does. Steak, chicken (dry), every once in a while salmon are the usual main courses. Sides are usually the fattiest portion: potatoe au gratin, canned corn loaded with butter, fries, fries & more fries.
FFIL just got FMIL a deep fryer, wonderful, so chix wings & anything else that will fit in it is fried.
I do have smaller snacks throughout the day, just not what they should be. I’ve definitely decreased my portion size since the engagement. However we don’t just live with his parents, there are 4 others… total of 8 peopl FMIL makes food for. Which is crazy & greatful for her. I’ve tried doing my own shopping, I bought ~$100 one day & all of my food was gone that night. In this household, if you don’t eat your groceries as soon as you bring it home, it’s gone. That’s the main reason I don’t go grocery shopping anymore.
Oh, & there are never any leftovers…
Post # 13
WHOA! I did not understand the severity of the situtation. Those are not healthy meals and that is a lot of people to be dealing with!
You should buy yourself/you and FI a mini-fridge and keep your own stuff in there in your own space so that nobody else eats your food. Also, have you considered any of the food delivery programs that ship you dry or freeze-dried food? Most of them aren’t too much more expensive than the average person would spend on food, and you can keep them in your room without anybody taking them. They also do the work of counting calories, etc. for you.
I think you should also consider going to a nutritionist or dietician and talking to them about coming up with a diet for you – it sounds like you don’t really have a handle on what you’re eating, when you should be eating, how to get more energy, etc.
The other thing you could consider, instead of eating snacks, etc.; is to pretty much skip dinner – if you follow the diet strategy of eating a large breakfast, a medium lunch, and a really small dinner (like a light sandwich or something), which would mean you don’t have to do a lot of prep work or a lot of keeping food in the house, if you can keep it at work or something.
Post # 14
I eat at these times pretty much every night. I don’t get out of work until 5, hour long commute, gym, and by the time we cook, settle in and eat, it’s about 8:30. On nights we have graduate school, it’s 9:30.
Going to the gym between work and getting home may help, as well as cutting out dessert (if you eat it) When I lived with my parents, we ate every night at 5:30 so dessert was a habit. Now that I eat later, there’s no reason for dessert.
I agree with others that you should get a mini fridge or something. You could also pair FMIL’s food with healthier sides. For example, if she makes steak, have some salad in your fridge to eat as a side.
I actually think eating dinner later makes it easier to lose weight, because once I get home, I have no motivation to leave for the gym! I’m more likely to go if I go right after work.
Post # 15
lol, edb you’re so funny. yea, it’s a pretty crazy situation. we’ve been thinking about getting a min-fridge as you & hotchildinthecity have mentioned.
this being my last semester in school & having plenty of free time, finally, i have no excuse to not go to the gym. yet after the 8-9:30am class i just sooooo want to go home & go back to bed, lol.
thank you all for your suggestions, i greatly appreciate them! 🙂