Post # 1
Hello, i am getting married next spring. I have begun to decide my wedding party. I would like to include one cousin from my fathers family and one from my mothers family. The dilemma is that my best cousin on my fathers side is wheelchair bound. I dont want to be mean but this seems problematic when it comes to being fitted for dresses, getting to different events and coming down the aisle. Any advice on how to handle this? I havent asked her to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man yet but is there another role she could play? Besides being a greeter? Oh she can only use one of her hands. Thanks!
Post # 3
I would not worry about any of the issues with fittings, or how to have her come down the aisle. If you want her in your wedding, you should absolutely have her, without reservations for her disability.
Post # 5
I dont see what the big deal is? It’s not like she sits at home naked all day long. She wears clothes and can go to events. A groomsman or another Bridesmaid or Best Man can help her down the aisle. Make sure that places you pick are handicap accessible and it will be fine.
Post # 6
Please include her because you WANT to, and treat her no differently than anyone else. You should see beyond her disability and love her for who she is.
This post makes me sad as well.
Post # 8
@nyscpa2be: I agree…your bridal party should be filled with people you love and want to be by your side when you say your vows, regardless of appearance or disability.
Post # 9
I did a Google Image search and you wouldn’t be the first bride with a Bridal Party member in a wheelchair–
I also found a thread on the Knot with a lot of great advice on how to make it work for her. When I worked at DB, we did have a few BM’s in chairs or used walkers and it worked out just fine for them. They changed back in alterations (bigger rooms) with the help of an assistant. Since they were walking with the GM’s, the Groomsmen pushed them down the aisle. I imagine that your Bridesmaid or Best Man knows her’s limits, so it might also be a conversation worth having.
Post # 10
This post also makes me sad.
Agree with PPs… it’s weird that you assume she can’t try on dresses or go down the aisle (there generally aren’t steps in aisles). I’m sure she has learned ways to handle getting dressed and moving along a flat surface.
Post # 11
Wow, this sounds awful.
If you love her, you should have her as a Bridesmaid or Best Man whether she’s disabled or not. The other details are so minor (fittings, getting down the aisle, etc) that they shouldn’t even bother you.
Not including her based on her disability makes you seem discriminatory. I think the fact that this is even a question is really, really depressing.
Post # 12
I agree with everything that PPs have said.
One of our three flower girls was wheelchair-bound. It required a bit of extra planning logistics-wise with her parents, but the other two girls pushed her down the aisle, and everything worked perfectly. If you care about this girl enough to want her there for you at the wedding, you should absolutely ask her, regardless of her physical limitations.
Post # 13
I think you should include your cousin in your bridal party and treat her no differently than you would anyone else.
My SIL’s Maid/Matron of Honor fell and crushed her ankle about 2 weeks before her and my brother’s wedding. She had to have surgery and was wheelchair bound as well. A groomsman just wheeled her down the aisle, and it was no big deal.
Post # 14
I agree with everything PPs said…I don’t want to repeat it.
Have you picked out venue yet? Is there going to be a problem having wheelchair down the aisle? I know some venue have very large steps as the aisle sometimes.
If the venue can accommodate handicapped,
next question is to ask yourself, do you want her to be in wedding party? if you want her, you should ask. Granted, she still has to accept it. But you love her enough to have her in the wedding party, I am sure you can make it work.
At the end of the day, as a bride I care about the people I am celebrating with. Formality all those things come second. 🙂
Post # 15
As long as the venue is equipt for disabled guests then there should NO ISSUE with any of your other concerns. She is a human and she is part of your family, if you want here there with you, you can work around the ‘issues’ with ease!
Post # 16
I don’t need to repeat what the other posters have said… Maybe the OP didn’t express herself properly in the first post, but the way everything was worded makes me sad.
That said, I work PT in a bridal boutique, and we have worked with several bridesmaids in wheelchairs. Fittings are not a problem. It won’t be an issue.
Going down the aisle also shouldn’t be an issue, as long as the aisle isn’t a big staircase… You can make it work for someone so special to you.