(Closed) Disagreeing on circumcision

posted 5 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 3
Member
10369 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

If we disagreed, i’d let him choose since he’s a guy and i’m not. Since it doesn’t have a substantial influence on life either way, it’s not something i’m willing to pick a huge fight over.

Post # 4
Member
492 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Discuss it, fact check… but i guess ultimately i would let him pick. Thankfully we agree and will not be doing it.

Post # 5
Member
5481 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

We have discussed this once or twice but haven’t come to a firm decision just yet.  We were going to wait a little while and talk with my healthcare provider for more information before we make our decision.  I think at the end of the day if we were staunchly opposing each other I’d let him have the final say since he’s a guy & I’m not.  I do usually get my way though, so I guess we’ll revisit the topic again after being advised by a medical professional and go from there.

Post # 6
Member
5429 posts
Bee Keeper

We never discussed it, as in are we or aren’t we… we were both Catholic and thought circumcision is for the Jewish religion so we didn’t do it. What helped the most is that his sister decided to get one and the poor little guy got infected… yeah, not cool!

Post # 7
Member
1030 posts
Bumble bee

Luckily we have the same opinion.

However, I could throw another ball in the court and say baby can decide when he’s old enough.

Especially as there aren’t any medical or hygenic reasons as to why you should – let the little boy decide what happens to his favourite bit when he’s older!

Post # 8
Member
6010 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

When it comes to parenting disagreements, here’s what we do:  Basically whoever “wins” has to deal with the consequences of that decision.  So, if the disagreement was about circumsion, and I did not want to circumcise and we ultimately decided not to do the procedure, I would be responsible for cleaning DS and teaching him how to properly care for penis as he got older.  If I was for circumcision, I would be responsible for caring for it after the procedure by doing all the diaper changes, vaselines, etc… during that time.  We didn’t disagree on circumcising, but we’ve used this strategy in other parenting disagreements (e.g. using CIO), and it works pretty well for us.

Post # 9
Member
3485 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

For us it came down to a matter of WHY we disagreed.  DH was against it because he felt it wasn’t needed and didn’t want to do something that hurts the baby if we didn’t have to. 

I am for it, and have a lot of research and things to back up my opinion, and while I agree with him it’s not necessairy I feel that it’s still a good choice, just like vaccines aren’t something you HAVE to do, but it’s a lot safer for the child to get them. 

I also had the easy match point that he was curcumcized later in life because as a toddler he developed an infection that had the potential to spread, and removing his foreskin not only helped to clear that  infection, but prevent future ones. (not necessary, but definitely a good idea!) 

In the end, we’ve agreed that if/when we have a son, he will be cirumcized.  It really wasn’t a huge deal for us, because honestly, my husband wasn’t dead set on his opinion, so convinving him to go my way didn’t take long.  Similarly we also have agreed to not get our future daughter’s ears pierced when she’s a baby– this was something I had always planned to do, but never really put a whole lot of thought into it, DH doesn’t want to, so we aren’t.  Again, he feels it causes unneeded pain, and since there’s really no “benefit” to it in my eyes, it’s not something I pushed for. 

If either of you have religious beliefs one way or the other, it’s a lot trickier, but for us it was a simple logic. 

Post # 10
Member
4328 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

Have a girl instead.

Post # 11
Member
931 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I told DH straight out that this was his decision. I told him I would discuss it and research with him if he wants, but that this is his “part” so I really didn’t think it made sense for me to do more than weigh in if he asks.

It turns out that he is pretty sure which way he wants to go (and has a few fairly good reasons), so basically I am bowing out completely.

Post # 12
Member
7779 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Thankfully, we didn’t disagree on this issue… but that’s because I let DH decide. He has a penis, I don’t. His decision.

Post # 13
Member
9147 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

We definitely disagree on this issue.  I believe circumcision reduces stimulation and is somewhat barbaric in nature at a time when we can teach our son to properly wash his penis to avoid infection.  I don’t like the idea of a doctor going at my son’s penis with a scalpel especially since in some cases they cut too much or wrong and they end up with pain every time they get an erection (I used to work for a urologist and we saw this quite frequently in older circumcised men.)  He is totally for circumcision because it reduces stimulation (will make him last longer), it reduces his chance to get STDs like AIDs and gonorrhea, less likely to be made fun of in the locker room, and it will look the same as his since he is circumcised.

I guess at the end of the day my FH will get to make the final decision since he is a guy and has a penis so he has a much better idea of the pros and cons of circumcision from a guy’s point of view.

Post # 14
Member
7772 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Oh man.  If we disagreed I would nip it in the butt.  I would get to decide.  I guess I just see my viewpoint as extremely important and I would not accept anything else.  (I don’t think a baby’s penis should get cut up.)  Yeah.  So, I am glad that we agree!  I guess I see my role as a mother to sort of be in charge and protective.  Maybe that is just me, but that is how the women in my family I know and respect are. 

Post # 15
Member
4038 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

We ended up agreeing on this issue, but if we hadn’t I would have left the decision up to DH since he has a penis. 

Post # 16
Member
181 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@crayfish:  I’m with you. My FI and I already discussed this and he said that if we have a boy in the future, he WON’T be circumsized. I’m not Jewish and also not a guy, so I’m letting it be his call.

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