Post # 1
My bf and I throw themed parties once every couple of months. I spend the whole day cooking/baking and they are always a huge hit with everyone!
Well… I really thought he was going to propose either before or at this party with all of our friends. Well, needless to say that didn’t happen.
He’d told me I was delaying it all the more by bringing it up (which I don’t even do that often!). I told him he shouldn’t have told me it was going to happen before the end of the year if he didn’t mean it!! 😛
It’s silly, but I worked myself up several weeks ago, thinking that the only reason it hasn’t happened is because he’s unsure of our relationship. So, I subconsciously began being over the top nice, accomodating, at his beck and call, etc.. Then, suddenly this week, things changed. I’ve become frustrated with him. Little things he does are beginning to get on my nerves and I’ve become short, and generally not very pleasant for him to be around.
I know it’s stemming from the fact that he hasn’t proposed yet and I was kinda-sorta expecting it, which I feel is totally unfair to him becasue it will come in due time.
I just don’t know what to do….
Post # 3
Phew, give yourself some time, girl! We all get disappointed, so you have to let yourself be disappointed for a little while and then get over it. Take a long bath, have a good cry, whatever–just do it on your own and tell him you need some space for the time being.
I don’t think its fair that he tells you you’re delaying it more, but that’s what he wants to do, so you should respect that. Just keep yourself busy! It will come!
Post # 4
Thank you 🙂
I definitely had a good cry the other night, gosh…. long, ugly story. But it made me feel a bit better.
I know I just need to CHILL OUT and busy myself with things. It’s just difficult to do, especially when I am not the best at controlling my emotions. I wear my heart on my sleeve, which is sometimes good, sometimes not so much.
I probably just need to get out of the house a little more, too. This weather is giving me a bit of cabin fever! By the end of the week, it’s going to be in the 40’s, woo hoo!
Post # 5
Ugh, I know it’s really hard! I think that guys tend to feel pressure (to propose “perfectly”, to propose at the right time, with the right ring, etc) and we feel pressure not to pester them too much, not to ask for updates, etc.
It’s high stress for everyone involved, and I think sometimes it just gets to the boiling point for both people at once. So I know it’s hard, but take some time to yourself, and in a day or two sit down with him and let him know that you weren’t trying to rush him, that you just feel left out of things and it helps you to be able to talk about it, but that you understand he wants to surprise you.
R & I went through this a couple of times. It was mostly miscommunication and holding things inside until they blew up. I think we even knew better at the time, but it still wasn’t fun.
Post # 6
Oh dear bee, I really don’t believe it’s because he is insecure. I think he just has a way he wants to propose, and he probably doesn’t want you to expect it, so he may put it off when he feels like you’re just waiting on it.
It will happen, and it will be so special, and it won’t even matter anymore exactly *when* he did it. 🙂
Post # 7
aww – I totally know how you feel. Its hard, but sometimes the more you leave them alone, the more they will get around to doing it. They like to feel they have surprised you, so just concentrate on your relationship and making the two of you happy and the rest will follow
Post # 8
You’ve got a solid plan for getting on with your daily life – it’s the only thing to do. My now hubby confessed after we got engaged that he’d been trying to find and take the perfect opportunity to propose for MONTHS before he actually did propose. So cut him some slack and focus on your plan – if it’s meant to happen, it will!
Post # 9
Today/tonight has been SO MUCH BETTER. The replies to this post and realizing WHY I was being that way really put things into perspective.
I actually told him tonight why I thought I was being the way I was for the past several days. We laughed about it. All is well, and I know it will come. It’s just rough sometimes 😉
Thanks, Bees… As always, I really appreciate you all!