Post # 1
I have been dealing a few issues with my family since I’ve been engaged (December 25). My older cousin has been dating her boyfriend for 9 years and I have been with my fiance for two years. When I told my grandmother we were engaged, she didn’t seem happy or excited.. She just said “Oh, well I thought it was going to be [older cousin] to get engaged this year, not you.” This hurt my feelings because my entire life, whatever I have done has been compared to what she’s done. I just wanted her to be happy for me. And when we talked about getting her something really pretty to wear to my wedding, she responded by saying, “No, I’ll just wear my slacks and a sweater”. I just feel like she doesn’t care.
Am I wrong for feeling like my special time is being put on the back burner to my older cousin’s situation? I mean, I can’t help what happens or doesn’t happen in her life. I’m the first grandchild in the family to be getting married and I thought my grandmother would be happy to have a chance to attend (she’s in her 80s and has talked about how she hopes she’ll be around to see us get married and have kids). I just don’t know how to respond when she talks about it like it’s just some everyday occurence.
Post # 3
my mother didn’t seem excited at first, but she was happy after it sunk in. my father said “oh, okay.” his parents were thrilled, after it sunk in.
i’m sure you just caught her off guard. and i’m sure she’s happy for you, even if she doesn’t show it.
Post # 4
@dreamer1288: When we told my FI’s mom, we actually just stopped by her house, and she was apparently on her way out, so we told her right away, and she just smiled, said “God bless” and then grabbed her keys and left! We laugh about it now, since that’s just so her.
What matters the most is your feeling and reaction to getting engaged. I’m going to share a piece of advice I got, and feel is a little harsh, but very true:
“No one cares about your wedding as much as you do.”
Post # 5
Perhaps once it gets closer she will be more excited. DH was the first to get married on his dad’s side of the family and his aunt, who has 4 kids in their late 20s early 30s that have never even had dates, wasn’t excited either until closer to the wedding (she was awful at the wedding but that’s a different story).
Post # 6
@BlondeBee: “I’m going to share a piece of advice I got, and feel is a little harsh, but very true: “No one cares about your wedding as much as you do.“
+1. Harsh, but true.
OP, I don’t think your grandmothers’ reaction was very nice and that would be hurtful, but please try not to take it to heart.
You’re marrying the man you love – focus on that and don’t let anyone’s negativity get you down.