Disappointed in my bridesmaid

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
121 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I would be pissed too, but it would be best to get past it. Even the best of us have thoughtless moments sometimes. Hopefully you will have more opportunities for everyone to get together. I was feeling the same about one of my bridesmaids, but it had turned out she was going through a lot. Easier said than done, but I always try to give people the benefit of the doubt these days!

 

Post # 4
Member
7197 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@gingerkitten:  If she apologised profusely, maybe it really was a genuine mistake. You’ve got to let it go.

And TBH I don’t think a bridesmaids’ get together is necessary. Nice, but not necessary.

Post # 5
Member
1007 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I don’t think this is a big deal.  She apologized profusely- there’s literally nothing else she can do except hopefully show up to the next meeting.  And I don’t think that bridesmaids dinners are something you should necessarily EXPECT/require them to show up to- having a gathering of friends is different from a bridesmaids get together where you are probably talking wedding.  

Post # 6
Member
1244 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

She thought it was Thursday?? What a lame excuse. I don’t know that I would believe her, but really there is nothing you can do besides move on and try to get together another time.

Post # 7
Member
480 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

My sister did that to me, we booked a date over 2 months in advance so all the BMs could get together. Final check on the say revealed that she had gone out of town for the night. I was very annoyed and dissapointed.

However in the grand scheme of things it’s not a big deal and certainly nothing to hold a grudge against

Post # 8
Member
1715 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

At least she didn’t blow you off on purpose.  I know it must seems like nothing can go right when it comes to getting your girls together.  Be angry for another day and then move on, you can’t stay mad forever.  Maybe next time you make plans with her, send her a friendly text “Hey girl today is Thursday and that means we get to see each other tomorrow!”  I’m sure when you get closer to the wedding your girls will be much more dedicated to doing wedding things with you. 

Post # 10
Member
7197 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@gingerkitten:  No, it was just an extra comment I made. Regardless of the reason, I still think that it’s possible she genuinely forgot and it sounds like she’s sorry. Of course she still messed up and it’s understandable that you’re hurt. But assuming this isn’t normal for her, you’ve got to forgive her.

Post # 11
Member
7400 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@gingerkitten:  But it isn’t a friends get together since half the girls don’t know each other. It is a bridesmaids get together since the purpose was for them to meet.

I think you just have to let it go. You can’t expect everyone to just drop their lives because you can make it into town for a visit. I think your friend is either under a lot of stress hence the forgetting or felt pressured to attend the event and didn’t know how to say no to you.

Post # 12
Member
3011 posts
Sugar bee

@gingerkitten:  as I have gotten older, I have realized a few important life lessons. You’ve got a couple right here. 

1. People flake. Sometimes something else comes up, sometimes they forget, sometimes they get sick. If you can learn to accept this and realize it is not a personal affront (unless you know otherwise) life will be easier on you. It sucks in the moment, but in the grand scheme this is minor. 

2. You have to let things go. Stop dwelling. If you accepted her apology, you need to move forward and stop focusing on this small infraction. If we all held into every disappointment, they would take over our lives. 

So it is time to move on. This is not a betrayal, it is a mistake and should be treated as such. there is nothing more to get over except yourself here. 

Post # 13
Member
406 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Who cares that it was a bridesmaid event.  I hate all this “it’s not mandatory, just show up and wear your dress talk”.

That’s fine and dandy, if a friend didn’t make a commitment to do otherwise.  The part of this situation that makes me think it’s a little off is that they didn’t answer their phones.  At least she did eventually get back to you though.

I would shake it off for now and see how things go 🙂

Post # 14
Member
406 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@mamadingdong:  +1

It changes your whole perspective on life when you realize it’s not always a personal thing toward you. 

Post # 15
Member
140 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2018

I really feel for you!- driving 2.5 hours, and they can’t be bothered to show up. Can I offer a suggestion? Maybe a Sunday or Saturday Afternoon would be a better time? I know that Fridays for me can be tough. I work and study, and by the time Friday rolls around I am really tired. I have been know to go home from work on a friday afternoon, and fall asleep on the lounge, only waking up about 9 or 10pm that night, thus missing any plans that I made to meet up with people. Most of my closest friends and family will call my house, 1/2 hour before an event with ‘wakey, wakey-time to wake up’. but they understand that I am trying hard to advance my career.

Post # 16
Member
3084 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@gingerkitten:  I think that’s really rude that she didn’t even bother to call. I don’t understand how someone can not know its Friday. Especially when people work. It sounds like it slipped her mind, I don’t really believe the I thought that it was Thursday excuse.

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