- 4 years ago
- Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa
I’m really hurt by one of my bridesmaids, and I don’t really know wht to do about it.
I live 2.5 hours away from everyone (parents, bridesmaids, etc), but I try to come back for a long weekend every couple of months to work on my weddin dress and also to visit with parents and try (repeatedly) to get all of the bridesmaids together for dinner, since half of the 4 girls haven’t met the other two.
For various reasons, two previous attempts to get all the girls together didn’t work out- everyone was on board, but things happened last minute that weren’t anyone’s fault (family sickness, being called into work, etc), and I have only been able to meet up wih them individiually. Sure, I was disappointed, but I understood that things happen.
A couple of weeks ago, I knew I would be going back down to visit, so I go in contact with all of the girls to set up a time to get together. Everyone was on board for Friday (this past Friday), and was looking forward to it. Great! One bridesmaid (A) was sick all week, and she had warned me in advance that she might not make it. I talked to her on the phone that day and sounded extremely ill, so I let it go even though I was disappointed the other girls couldn’t meet her.
Since we are all kind of on a budget, I arranged for us to have dinner at my parents’ house, and everyone responded positively to the idea. Anyway, 7pm comes and goes, and FSIL is 15 minutes late- no biggie, traffic is crazy on Fridays. (MOH is my sister and was already there- she lives there). So I figure we will give bridesmaid B some more time to arrive. At 7:30 I am getting worried, so I call her cell- no answer.
I tried calling her again 10 minutes later, since dinner was in the oven and it wouldn’t sit well after it was out. Still no answer. I figure if we haven’t seen or heard from her in 15 more minutes, I would call her SO (also a friend) to see if he knows when she left the house, etc. He didn’t answer either, so we had to give up and eat without her when she is an hour late.
Good ting, too, because we didn’t hear from her until 9:30. She apologizes profusely over and over, saying that she “thought today was Thursday!”. I was so upset that I couldn’t think of anything to say to her, other than, “Well, I guess we’ll try again next time.” Normally when people apologize to me, I say something like, “It’s okay,” but I just couldn’t say anyting because it wasn’t okay.
I had been looking forward to this dinner all week, and was practically counting down the days- if B was looking forward to it, too, wouldn’t she at least be keeping track of what day of the week it was? I know that she works hard and all, but I just feel like there is no excuse to no-show on your friends, especially when I don’t get to see her very often any more. It’s hard not to feel like she doesn’t care.
Can you guys help me to forgive her? It has been almost a week and I am still so upset over this. I am not the kind of bride that expects their bridesmaids to help me shop or to do DIY crafts with me. All I ask is that they show up.
TL;DR- I planned a dinner to get all of my bridesmaids together, and one of them just didn’t show up. Everything was fine, she just forgot what day of the week it was. I live far away, so it is hard to get together with them. I am still very hurt about this. How can I begin to forgive her? It’s hard not to feel like she doesn’t care.