Post # 1
I am saddened to read so many messages highlighting a lack of family support for wedding plans – particularly destination weddings. My only daughter got married two days ago in Las Vegas – it had been pre-planned for many months and it was made clear that no-one would be invited to share the day – the groom is not very a very sociable person and didn’t want any fuss. I had no problem with her marrying in whatever manner/location she wanted and I fully accept that it should be about the two people getting married. We are a very close knit family but I have always given her and my 2 sons the freedom of choice to be and do what suits them. However, when it came down to it, to say I was devastated would be an understatement as I thought we had a great relationship and this has made me question so many things – what I would have given to have been granted an opportunity to witness such a milestone in her life! I spent her wedding day howling under a duvet. So shame on those families who for whatever reason choose not to support you lovely brides to be – they should be honoured to be included in your plans. I wish all you brides to be the very best for your big day and the future.
Post # 3
I am so sorry you had that experience. But I don’t think it is reflecting on your relationship, your daughter loves you and always will. Perhaps spend a day together going over photos, having coffee, some bonding time 🙂 *hugs*
Post # 4
Regardless of what your daughter wanted on her wedding day, all actions have consequences. She obviously knows you and she is probably aware of the amount of pain she has caused.
Her actions were hurtful to you (her MOTHER, not some random person) and I don’t see why she gets a free pass to do that on her wedding day. I know some people will disagree. This is my opinion.
If having a totally private wedding was SO important to her then she should have tried her best to arrange something with you e.g. a mother-daughter weekend. You would have still been hurt but it may have been some consolation.
I’m so sorry you were left out. Usually this sort of thing happens when there are severe problems between mom and daughter but your post doesn’t suggest that.
Post # 5
Oh, and I’m not saying that engaged couples should cater to every whim and demand of others concerning their wedding. I’m just saying that, when you DO make decisions regarding your wedding, certain decisions you make may hurt others. I would not agree that hurting your mom in this way is “worth it” to make “your” day special.
Post # 6
Oh. I feel for you.*hugs*
On wedding boards I quote often see advice like, “The wedding is only about the bride and groom, do what you want”. I wonder how often the people saying this are mothers themselves. As a mother of teenagers, I try to chime in to at least include those for whom the wedding is really important: immediate family and grandparents.
Post # 7
🙁 I’m so sorry that you weren’t able to have the day with your daughter that you’ve no doubt envisioned for years. That is very hard. While we considered a DW to ease the financial burden of planning a wedding, I couldn’t bring myself to only have a few (if any) friends and family there to share our day. Is your daughter willing to have a celebration with family when she returns?
Post # 8
@londoner61: I’m sorry you’re so sad.
Just to give you another point of view I’ll tell you why mY DH & I eloped a week ago even though we both have WONDERFUL relationships with all our family members. I admist it would have been nice to have my mom be present but we chose to have 4 friends instead.
Reason 1: Our elopement was so laid back it would have driven our families insane, which would had stressed us out in the end. We ran late for everything and it was a fly by the seat of our pants kind of day. 100% our thing, 100% not our parents.
#2. If we invited parents we would have had to invite grandparents. It’s just how our family is. Then of couse we couldn’t leave out our siblings, we each have only one. Plus thier SO’s. The list just keeps snowballing.
#3. We wanted it to be small, and to be honest only about us. We didn’t want to have to worry about seating, who can eat what, etc. etc. We wanted to be selfish and only think about us on our day. The people we had attend we go with the flow, o questions, no drama type people.
I just really want to say that don’t let your daughter’s elopement define your relationship. Maybe she just wanted to be selfish for one day, and if you can’t do it on your wedding day when can you?